what i long for

this may sound really girly or cliché but i honestly just sit and think about what i want in my future boyfriend/spouse, that is if anyone ever decides they would like to deal with me for the rest of their life lol. but i have wrote a couple of things down that i would like to share with all of you just out of fun, maybe we share some of the things we look for in our future significant other... keep in mind this is all just my opinion and what I, personally, find important.

first and foremost, i want someone to accept me for who i am; flaws, mistakes, insecurities and all. and still love me the same, if not more. i also want them to love and respect my family, especially my five younger siblings i have. they mean the world to me and if they aren't accepting to them, then it is a definite no-go.

i want a love that never grows old. every day is a new adventure and just how it was at the beginning of the relationship, i never want the butterflies to disappear. i want to still get a little nervous when we go on dates, even if it's our 200th date. i don't want any guessing games or to have my mind and feelings played with. don't get me wrong, i know love isn't perfect. i know it isn't a dream all the time. but the thought of having someone by your side no matter what, someone that always has your back, that confides in you is such a comforting feeling. someone that loves you endlessly, isn't afraid of conflict but is mature enough to communicate without it turning into an argument. a lot of people forget that communication is pivotal in any relationship, romantic or not. i want someone that will pray for me and him to grow in our relationship.

i want to love the way when he just gets done swimming, how his hair curls up in the front of his head, how he lights up when his favorite song comes on, how he looks in a certain color, how he looks when he wakes up from a four hour nap and when he hasn't had a wink of sleep in forty-eight hours. i want to love someone at his absolute worst and saddest and at his top tier and happiest. i want to be able to share stories with the boy i love, i want to be able to share my whole life with them and feel no judgement whatsoever. the way i feel when i watch a beautiful sunset is the way i want to feel when i look into his eyes. the way i feel when i hear my favorite song is the way i want to feel every time he laughs.

i want to fall in love with the way he thinks and his perspective on things and his outlook on life and how passionate he is about the things he loves. i want someone to choose me everyday and for me to choose them everyday. i don't want there to be a single doubt in either one of our minds.

i want someone to go to parties with. i want someone i can dance in the kitchen with. i want to have a blast with someone every time we are together, either on a road-trip or just to Walmart. i want someone to be in love with my smile and my eyes and the fact that i laugh at almost everything. someone to love me when i'm sick, healthy, just rolled out of bed look or when i have fixed myself all up. i want someone that when i lay my head on his chest and hear his heartbeat, it almost brings me to tears because i know that i am the one getting the amazing privilege to love that heartbeat. i want someone that i can look at for a whole two hour drive and still not be tired of how they look when they drive. i want to be in absolute awe of their physical appearance and be overwhelmed with love by how well it matches their humility, humor, happiness, and how they are as a whole.

i want someone even in the arguments. even in the bad times, i want there to be nothing but love for one another. i want someone to hug me like i am the last bit of hope they have. i want to feel at home in his arms. i want someone to remind me of all things happy when i look at them. i want someone i can rap all the words to all my songs with. i want him to be humble, helpful, kind, respectful, hilarious, selfless, strong but sensitive, and just beautiful. i want a life full of laughter, fun, joy, and just plain happiness.

love is when you are running your own race and you suddenly look over and they are right there beside you. neither of you having to slow down or backtrack. love is such an important thing to me, and it plays a huge role in my life. i have such a great love for so many things and people. i love my family and friends very dearly. go ahead and ask my friends how many times i tell them i love them. i appreciate everybody i have ever met. each person has their own individual spot in my life and in my heart. i have such a big heart, which sometimes can be a bad thing. i wear my heart on my sleeve, i always have, but i am trying to learn to avoid doing that so much.

alright the thing i wanted to get through to you tonight was have genuine intentions with the people you love. forgive the ones that have hurt you. work on yourself for the one you haven't met yet. be kind to your enemies. be there for your parents. never your friends for granted. be the light and love in someone else's life. love is everywhere. love is so special. love is what needs to be spread out like a wildfire to everybody. and yes, that means everybody. you are not a mistake, you are not a disgrace, you are not a waste of space. you are special, you are beautiful, and you are loved eternally. love yourself, love others.

with all the love,

Taylor 081718 12:28am