Humans logo

What I Learned When I Chose to Be Single

A New Perspective

By Sarah BakerPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
Like
What I Learned When I Chose to Be Single
Photo by Dương Trần Quốc on Unsplash

You may be asking if I meant to say "chose" in the title.

Yes. Yes I did.

It's a choice. I do not know you background. You may be reading this thinking...

"I could never be single."

"Don't you get lonely?"

"There is no one out there to date, so is it really a choice?"

I am here to tell you that it IS a choice. I hear ya, I have told myself each one of those lines. I told myself that I could never be single...but then I remembered being cheated one in each of my past relationships and the idea of being single sounds a little better. I ask myself constantly if I am lonely, especially when it comes around to the holidays. But then I realize that being lonely is not a reason to get in a relationship. Sorry, but it's not.

So what about the dating pool? You may think that all the good ones are taken and you always strike out. Yes this does happen, trust me. But if someone wants to be in a relationship, then it will happen eventually. Maybe not when you want, but it will. If you are actively meeting new people and putting yourself out there, then you will begin dating.

After another toxic relationship ended, I chose to be single. I made a conscious decision to focus on myself.

Now I didn't just wake up one day and decide this. I told myself that I could not be in another toxic relationship ever again. After being cheated one over and over again, a piece of you breaks. I could not go through that again. I knew I couldn't survive.

So instead, I chose to neglect the dating scene and focus on becoming who I was meant to be, not who a boy wanted me to be. I decided to grow into a woman that would see the red flags in a relationship and instead of blaming herself, she would have the strength to leave. I decided to not just choose singleness, but I decided to choose....ME!

I decided to not date and focus on my career, bettering myself, and growing my friendships. This turned out to be the smartest decision that I ever made.

After leaving that toxic relationship, I examined the red flags and the reason I decided to turn a blind eye and stay. I dug deep down. I read books, talked with friends, and listening to peers who have been through these kind of relationships. I learned the key traits and decided that I never wanted to be a victim again. I decided to be smarter, stronger, and braver. I knew that this would not come all at once, especially right after a breakup. I mean, I was still heartbroken. But knew that if I never wanted to be in this situation again, I needed to work hard and fight. Fight for myself. Fight for my heart. Fight for my spirit. Fight.

Today, I can gladly say that I am on the other side. I am smarter, stronger, and braver than I was. I am no longer the type of woman that cowers to a man. I am no longer the type of woman who ignores the red flags and just takes being talked down to and manipulated. I am a strong independent woman. Not only that, but a woman who worked hard, got her Masters, and is now developing curriculum to help children all over the world. I survived. I would choose being single all over again because I didn't choose loneliness. I chose me.

Sincerely,

A Strong Independent Woman

single
Like

About the Creator

Sarah Baker

Thanks for reading! I love to write about life while being real and authentic. I love to travel and teach as well. If you like what you read, then go check out my page for my other posts:)

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.