Humans logo

What I learned From My 4Years Long — Distance Relationship

Some of them were painful as heck.

By Anggun BawinurPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
Like
What I learned From My 4Years Long — Distance Relationship
Photo by Annette Sousa on Unsplash

It feels like it’s been a while since I talked about my long-distance relationship with even my close friends. I used to not only talk but think a lot about it.

Now that we are together living in the same city, it does make sense that I started forgetting how it feels to be in one.

However, deep down I’ve always had the urge to share fully how we managed it. I don’t think ‘made it’ is the right word because when you are in a relationship, it’s a lifetime of learning and there will always be something new that comes up.

4 years is a long time, at least that’s what I think. There are so many things that I learned during the time and it somehow became one of the best life experiences I’ve ever had.

I don’t really know my partner as well as I thought

Those who had been in a long-distance relationship will agree on this. Once you move in together, you’ll be shocked at how little do you know about your partner.

I’m not talking about that kind of general information like his hobbies, his favorite food, or even his allergies, but more of the communication part of it.

Just like any other real-life relationship, you need to learn about each other from zero when you move in together. When you’re still in a long-distance, it’s easy to just hang up the phone and not reply to their texts for days until you feel like you’re ‘ready’ to communicate again.

But obviously, you won’t be able to do that when you live together in the same house, you need to communicate clearly and solve the problem as soon as possible.

I found this really hard at first because talking about how I really feel makes me vulnerable and uncomfortable at the same time but I had no other options, otherwise, our relationship would suffer due to our poor communication.

Putting myself as a priority

People might say one of the pros of doing a long-distance relationship is that we will have more time for ourselves and explore things on our own.

While this is totally true, not everyone thinks the same way and in this case, I used to be clingy and very insecure. To the point where I couldn’t even go on a day without thinking about my partner. And we would talk for hours a day until both of us fell asleep or it’s time for him to go to work.

To be honest, it’s more complicated than it seemed because people got frustrated almost all the time when they are in a long-distance and one of the ways to reduce it is to talk as much as they could.

It took me a while to realize how unhealthy it was because it made me super unfocused both at my work and college. Not that I wish I didn’t do it but more like, I wish I didn’t make my entire life revolved around my relationship.

I learned how to be more patient & realistic with our relationship in general

It’s so easy to catch up on the idea of how a perfect couple should be. You probably have seen those videos where long-distance couples reunited at the airport and move in together and they have a happy ending.

While I’m happy for them but I’m not gonna lie that some days I started comparing my relationship with them, thinking why couldn’t we be together in the same place as soon as possible. As a result, I would feel more frustrated and end up overwhelming my partner with my unrealistic expectations.

If you are currently dealing with this, trust your own timings and not to make any big decisions (e.g; rushing into a marriage) just because you couldn’t be apart for any longer.

And most importantly, avoid comparing your long-distance relationship with anyone else. It doesn’t serve you any good purpose.

I’ve seen long-distance couples that I used to compare with and they ended up in divorce within a short time. So being patient and keeping your expectations in check is very important to keep your own relationship healthy and go in the right direction.

dating
Like

About the Creator

Anggun Bawinur

Digital Marketer by day. Content Writer by night.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.