What I Learned Almost Too Late about the Hero to Burnout Cycle

Earlier this year, I found myself in a position where I was exhausted, physically, mentally and although I did not want to admit it, emotionally too.

I was aware of my weariness in some respects, but I was so used to acting on impulse and surviving that it became second nature to think that if I could get to my next scheduled break, it would be an opportunity to rest, and all would be well.

How little did I know this type of thinking is problematic.

The responsible achiever inside of me felt I had to endure and push through, with training and competing, volunteering, public speaking, work, attempts to start a business, family matters and more. I mean, how many times do we hear talk about discipline.

Isn’t discipline, “Doing what needs to be done, even though you don’t want to.”

And how many times do we hear each other complain about our environments, whether it is about people and situations, work or family, and yet we do nothing about it?

Instead, we make excuses to hide behind our fears and happily give up control of our lives. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly stop doing what I am doing. Who would do X and take care of Y!”

How little did I know this type of thinking is problematic. It can be hard to admit you can’t and don’t need to do it all and that you are worthy of rest. But sometimes, we do what we do because we want to please, we want to be seen as a person of value, or we want to chase perfection.

In the middle of the battlefield, you can’t see the war.

I wasn’t at the point of burnout, but looking back, I can see I was sliding down the scale of symptoms.

• Loss of motivation
• Feeling drained and not refreshed after a weekend break
• Emotions feeling blunted
• Increased cynicism (critical thinking in the absence of hope)

If any of this sounds familiar, please read on because you need to understand prolonged stress can lead to burnout which is the slow depletion of your emotional, physical and mental resources.

So here I am, almost a third of the way through the year, and I am standing on the other side of what felt like the longest winter ever, partly because of the pandemic measures, partially because the winter season matched my mood.

A significant part of me believed I had no choice but to continue the way I was, while another part fantasised about running away to some remote island or taking a three-month sabbatical, somewhere sunny and hot.

But here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be like this, and yes, we live in a society where we constantly digest the message bigger, faster, better, compete, push for more, success equals achievement and so on, but still, it doesn’t have to be like this.

We don’t have to run ourselves into the ground and put ourselves in positions where our usefulness defines our worth to others.

It is unfortunate that unless you are surrounded by people who notice and care, near burnout and feelings of overwhelm will stick with you until you break or find the strength to do something different. As the saying goes, “You are responsible for your own happiness. If you expect others to make you happy, you will always be disappointed.”

Luckily for me, I followed my intuition and found help to assist me in making the necessary changes. I found support in the form of a fantastic holistic wellbeing coach who guided me in reconnecting with myself and remembering we always have a choice. Through her direction, I saw another way to find balance and make time for myself and my interests.

While spinning dishes in front of an audience can look impressive, the reality is the plates we rotate, and often the person turning the plates can be replaced. If we are honest in deciding what we want, we will see that many of the plates we spin can be put down, temporarily or permanently, if we wish.

Remember, it is your life, and self-care should always be your priority, where you look after your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental health.