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What happens to women who divorce without children?

by xiaohu 2 months ago in divorce
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No matter from the perspective of women's future life in favor of not having children, or from the perspective of rational analysis of who is better equipped to have children, this problem seems to have no solution. But in the stories that have been told by many children since then, there is one point that is consistent... A child without a mother's love, whether adult life has been good or not, that missing piece of heart all seems to be a huge hole. But some people choose to use hate to fill it, some people choose to forgive, some people choose silence.

I was less than a year old when my mom got divorced. She was 24. The baby was supposed to be with the girl, but she didn't ask me for custody, because the biological father was abusive and threatened to kill her. She dared not argue with him. She took unpaid leave after the divorce, moved to Shenzhen in the late 1980s and, at 27, married a first-time Hong Kong man who was smitten with her, aged 25. But when my biological father got custody, he found it hard to take care of children, so he threw me back to my grandparents' house. I only kept my household register. Yeah, no meetings, no child support, but keeps my hukou. It was not until I was in my teens that my mother decided to give me a hukou to move to Hong Kong and gave him a sum of money that he agreed. So I lived with my grandparents when I was young, and my mother came to visit me once every two or three years. Sounds like the same as left-behind children very sad, but also OK, grandpa is retired cadres, living in the courtyard, food and clothing to go to school not worry, occasionally someone malicious smile to me said: "your mother don't want you? She's not coming back?" It was sad at the time, but looking back, I'm better off than those people now, and I'm relieved. Then she had a brother and a sister. Hong Kong people have been very good to her, developed to buy a car are written in her name. Two nannies took care of the children when their younger siblings were young. All she does is wash her hair, manicure and play mah-jong. Later, I came to study with her and lived with her for four years. Maybe because we didn't grow up together, we always feel that we are not very familiar with our mother and stepfather. But they have not wronged me, the camera computer freely buy, the family car freely drive, buy clothes, buy bags and buy skin care products also do not have any restrictions. At that time, I always quarreled with her, because she thought I would do nothing but spend money, but I thought I was a great man. I looked down on her and played mahjong every day. I had no feelings for her. And I feel like it's my fault that she left me when I was a kid and didn't develop a relationship? Smoking and drinking play mahjong every day does not take care of younger brothers and sisters, even in the home oneself wash hair feel tired she still have reason? I have to worship her? Now that I'm over 30, I can really understand her. Who wouldn't want to live easy? She is qualified to play mahjong with long nails every day. She is not willing to wash, cook, clean up the room, take care of children, study from nine to five, and even not willing to exercise, play or swim, because she is an ordinary person with weaknesses, laziness and choices. These should not be reasons for me to look down on her. If she had fought for custody of me after her divorce and struggled to get along in her hometown working for a state-owned company/government agency, it would not have ended well for her or me. Because she was brave enough to go out and get perhaps a better life, and thus gave me more possibilities. If I was following my birth father, would I be able to go to college? Will junior high school graduation go out to work? I really can't think about it. P.S. Why was my mom able to marry a younger Hong Kong guy who was obsessed with her? The WORLD HAS NO REASON OF GOOD FORTUNE MY MOTHER IS YOUNG WHEN THE ORGAN BIG COURTYARD FAMOUS BEAUTY (-_- AND DID NOT INHERIT TO ME) AND THE CHARACTER IS VERY HUMOROUS AND WITTY CAN NOT HELP BUT WANT TO SAY TWO OF HER JOKE SON SOME DAY SHE AND I ONE BEFORE ONE AFTER STANDING ON THE ESCALATOR I TOUCHED HER BOTTOM SHE: THANK YOU, 100 YUAN. Me: I'm giving you a massage. You have to give me 100 yuan. She: Really? If you want to charge me, you have to press it the way I like it. Get down on your knees and hold out your hands. I:... One DAY I (PLAYING WITH HER THIGH) : Mommy, WHY ARE THERE SOME PURPLE BLOOD VESSELS ON YOUR LEG? She: As people get older, the skin becomes thinner and the blood vessels become more obvious. I: oh? So I'm gonna have purple veins in my legs when I'm old? Her dia voice dia languidly say: you won't ~ I: you will comfort me! She: I'm not trying to comfort you, you really won't ~ Me: really? Why is that? She: Because your skin is dark, even if you are old, you will not become as white as me. When she was young, she could hardly get on a train with a suitcase and cross an overpass without a man offering to help her carry her luggage (not once in my life, what a world!). I tried twice standing on the shoulder of the freeway with her in a broken down car, and both times people stopped and asked if she needed help. After all, I could play with her leg for a year... (Don't ask me where the tall buildings are, but she stands on this side of Wan Chai, across from Kowloon.) This answer got a lot of likes, but ah... How could things be so perfect? When SHE WAS 43 YEARS OLD, SHE WAS STILL A BULLY, HOUSEWORK ALL LEFT TO THE NANNIES, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO WITH MONEY, A MONTH AT LEAST 30 THOUSAND SMALL SPENDING, lose MORE IS THE ROLE OF NO edge. That year my stepfather, 41, met a 21-year-old girlfriend. A hostess, to him said he was born in the countryside of the tragic life, he said his heart a sour, to her rent a car (did not write her name), is kept. When my mom found out, she turned the world upside down and set fire to our own house (before the babysitter put it out). In fact, she was still beautiful at that time. After all, she didn't have to worry about life, she often maintained. She could also easily do the cartwheels that she practiced in the gymnastics team when she was a child. But even if it is 35, how does it compare to 21? What's more, Shenzhen's night, a stubble of 18, 9 years old, every year there are new people. They also seriously discussed the divorce, went to the lawyer's office, the lawyer asked the stepfather: divorce you willing to pay how much property and maintenance? He said: house car to her, children she wants to also give her, I pay 50,000 a month child support. She thought about it, but she didn't leave. My opinion is that she has been spending freely for so many years that she has no ability to make money. Fifty thousand a month, minus the family expenses, was hardly enough to maintain her standard of living. To continue to live the life of manicures, mah-jongg, and showing off in front of Mah-yo in fancy cars, one must swallow the fact that his husband cheated on him, he seems to have changed, but once he has another child, he can't help it. It would be a lie to say that she cared less about her husband's infidelity than she did for a life of ease, looking at an admirer who has been licking her knees for years. I don't know when he turned into a highly sought after successful person in the society, while she became a middle-aged and elderly woman with no chips except her two children, no matter how she splashed. Life is so cruel, if beauty wins a good life, beauty is gone, what do you hold in your hand? Lots of cash? A well-developed business? A craft you can eat? Industry connections? To get into a beautiful place, to lie back and enjoy life for all these years and what's the result? It's when you realize you've lost all your chips, and you're gonna have to live with it from now on. Since then, she really changed her temperament, she cursed her partner with the most vicious language, she gambled more and more, she smoked and drank and stayed up more and more fierce, she was 48 years old abdominal pain admitted to hospital, was found to have cancer. She's the only one on my grandparents' side of the family with cancer. Three surgeries, plus chemoradiotherapy, for years. Although the family had carers to look after her, it was a very, very painful few years for her. She was just under 53 when she died. I, too, married a man of modest means and had two children. But I have always had a very deep sense of crisis and never stopped trying to study, work and make money. Because I have learned from my mother's life experience that... I'm not as pretty as her, and I can't eat that bowl of face food. I want to dare to play mahjong every day beauty nail estimate soon be divorced a boring -_ - - - this is my two years ago to write the answer -- -- Ironically, although I have no beauty nail playing mahjong every day and I also expand + company's business I'm getting paid for my education and I'm still getting divorced and I don't have custody of my two kids and I have to fight over visitation... What kind of brain circuit is my Soon to Be ex-husband? No one knows but oh, but oh, the point is! I now income OK ~ lawyer fee? The cost of living? No problem. I'm not extravagant either (miracle given my mom's lifestyle). Don't make trouble, don't worry! My grandfather is the eighth Route Army, grew up in the compound, inherited the old revolutionary spirit of me, hardworking, brave and kind what to be afraid of!

divorce

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xiaohu

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