What a Woman Really Wants

by Sarah Danker-Dake 6 months ago in dating

What she is really saying without saying it.

What a Woman Really Wants

We all know that line from the very famous song by Christina Aguilera, "What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever makes me happy and sets you free..." And let me tell you (guys out there), it will set you free. Free from guessing, free from drama and like husband likes to say, free from the emotional roller coaster.

Here's one, have you ever caught yourself thinking, "Why doesn't he just tell me what he's thinking..." Well it's simple, guys and gals, are wired differently. Lucky for us those wirings can strengthen us as a team or unit. But oftentimes not knowing the strength of those differences can cause...well, strife.

Women tend to experience her bae's body language more than listen to his words. Not because we don't hear him, but because we desire to know more about him than he even knows about himself. It helps us be great comforters in time of need. To give credit, lots of people have this, dare I say, "super power." It's called intuition and really if you spend enough time or are interested in interacting with humans in general, you can learn this very well. It's not 100% accurate, but it gets you good favor with people from time to time. For example, if he comes home from work sighing and trying to relax on the sofa and you ask, "What's wrong?" He might give you the simple answer. "Nothing." And it may just be that. Nothing interesting enough to share. Nothing that needs engaging because he wants to decompress. Nothing. If it were the other way around (of course this depends on the person...this is strictly hypothetical mixed with personal experience), nothing could mean, ask me about my day, so I can verbally unload, and it will help me decompress.

This goes back to what a woman really wants...to be heard. Don't get me wrong, all people want to be heard, noticed and this that and the other. But for one's opinion or collection of thoughts to be considered by another? Well that just fuels self confidence and lifts the soul.

I will throw this in here just in case my husband reads this. I am a lucky girl (although this seems basic...not all dudes I have met cherish the value of this quality) because my husband does this well even when we disagree on certain things. He's never made me feel that my thoughts are inferior to his, and I love it.

Here's another, a woman wants to be cherish and chosen. Sounds simple right? That's why we have all this, buy me a diamond ring, a box of chocolates, and flowers craze (also get marketing strategies by companies) that has been blown out of proportion. Guys! If you were making her feel cherished and chosen at a higher percentage rate than only on Valentine's Day, then maybe she wouldn't be bothered if you aren't spending money on that stuff for her. I'll admit, it takes a special kind of lady not to totally desire those things, but if she is as precious as you say she is, show it, say it, be all about it.

In my experience, a few words like "you look amazing today, how did I get so lucky," will do the trick and the occasional nice dinners. I'm not tying my value to the things you buy for me because I am a strong woman who knows her worth. But I am not something you can't work for. A friend of mine gave me some advice that I tend to meditate on. He said after 5 years of marriage, give 100% because the other may only believe it's 50% and that's not a bad thing. The way I see it, focus on serving each other and you will be taken care of because you won't be concerned only about you and both of you win. When someone is good to you, helps you, admires and values you, the idea is to show your appreciation in a way that is received well or adds value to their world. So don't choose flighty values (I'll explain in another story), ladies. And don't choose fruitless action (I'll explain in another story as well), guys.

Here's one last one for the road. Woman want security. This one isn't too hard right? It goes without saying that women tend to want their bae to mean what they say and say what they mean. Any teetering can really just stir the pot. So although you may get a positive response with a good amount of words with purpose; careless use of them can be unwelcome. There's a great satisfaction to knowing that things are taken care of or that you don't have to revisit something for a second time. In my experience, feeling the need for security is natural for many, but also it helps one connect better to another individual if their delicate insecurities are in good hands.

In short, women want a lot of what many people want. It's just some of them are needs to better vibe with you "baes" out there.

Sarah Danker-Dake
Sarah Danker-Dake
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Sarah Danker-Dake
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