Humans logo

What a Heartbreak Will Do to You

When You Thought Something Was Happening

By Teddi ColemanPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
Like
Never the easiest heal

I had a heartbreak recently, with a boy (and I used a boy for a reason, not only to protect his name but another reason why). This boy and I went out a few times (movies, bowling, out to eat, etc... ) and have known each other for a few months now. Then we had a conversation. He wanted to discuss something that he felt was holding him back. He had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and was still going through moving on emotional and physically. It seems that he was more invested in his previous relationship than she (his ex) was.

Let us stop and pause for a moment. I have no problem with the conversation because I rather he be ready for a relationship with me than not be ready and we have problems or the connection is not there. I applaud him for talking with me because it may not have been the easiest thing to do. I respect it. But never the less, towards the end of the conversation, he said that he could see something with me, and wanted to keep "hanging out and talk". No problem. All relationships have to start somewhere.

I talked with my girlfriends because I contemplated waiting for him because he was everything I was looking for, religious, steady job, nice looking, caring, and funny. But they said since there was no specific time he was going to be ready that perhaps I would play the field. I even prayed every night that I was doing the right thing. I even decided to wait because every time we talked and hung out, I would get butterflies and could picture a relationship with him and he could picture it as well.

A couple months later like three months, one of my girlfriends that knew about him and I, spoke with me. We were at a friend's party at a bar. Then she spoke those words “I don’t know how to tell you this but I am going to give it to you straight."

My heart dropped. “Boy's dad asked me my name one day at y'all's softball practice and I told him. His dad was like 'oh that easy to remember boy is seeing a girl with that name'.” My friend and I do not have the same name, not even the same letter.

My heart broke. I wanted to cry, scream, or even run. How?! How?! I was left hanging. I had to hear it from someone else! I love my friend for protecting me. But I was left out! Here I was feeling like a leftover piece of meat. I had thought that something was potential and HE EVEN SAID IT! And I see him very frequently due to church and softball team.

I am trying very hard to not be "high school" and let it go. Because I am a grown woman and I cannot let drama fill my life. But seriously, my heart broke even though he wasn’t mine. He led me on to think that one day we could have something.

To make matters and feelings worse, she came to the first softball game and the raging bull in me was ready to go off. Then he tries to be "buddy-buddy" in the dug out. I don’t think so! How dare you! Knowing that I had feelings. A man would/should not do that, hence why I have been calling him "boy."

I question myself. Was I too much? Was I not enough? What could I have done? Was it me? What did I do? A broken heart will do that to you, make you question the very person you are.

I have since let it go and know that I cannot do it with him. I told myself that I keep this internally, learn my lesson. I have learned not to get attached until I know for certain it is real.

breakups
Like

About the Creator

Teddi Coleman

a social worker. a teacher. taking one step at a time.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.