Welcome to Purgatory for Singles

Being involved in a Breakup is always hard, damaging, dangerous. Where tears, temper tantrums and anger burst are prevalent. Depression, feeling sorry for yourself, bouts of crying is always the norm. Craving something sweet, or something sour trying to eliminate these feelings temporarily is the remedy to go back to normal. But being in a relationship to then not having no one, is like being demoted from a supervised position to back at where you started. If you're being dumped, ghosted, or decided to call it quits instead of being given a ring on your left finger, congratulations! You're back into the singles pile or singles purgatory!

You may feel like this is the first time or the 50th time you arrived at the same starting point. But it could get easier or difficult depending on your attitude. Singles purgatory is a process to re-learn the same mistakes or improvise expecting different results how to escape. Let me explain how it goes for both sexes.

Upon Arrival you feel a sense of false freedom:

You feel relieved, that the pest called the boyfriend or girlfriend is out of your life and the thought of "there's more fishes in the sea" invades your thoughts. Fueled with positivism, hope and a little bit of bravado, you embark on a false "self-discovery" tour consisted on drinking, drugging and having casual sex with men or women on occasion who doesn't know their first or last name. Dancing up to the early signs of morning, like running a marathon, or spending money you don't have for the sake of being happy.

But here's the reality:

You will get tired of it, fast! Going out to the Pub will be a chore. All those "happy hours" means torture by sitting alone in the bar area while watching couples and families in their booths or tables chatting. All you can do is drinking and taking selfies on FB. Meeting strangers for no strings attached feels like cleaning your ass with the last roll of tissue paper after your poop and it's not enough to get it cleaned. Because it reminds you of how different your boyfriend or girlfriend would be in the bed vs. the guy or gal you're with for a few hours. They won't stay for the whole night, they won't cuddle and they will shower you with lies. They will make you feel "wonderful" for the sake of getting themselves laid. And it leaves you unsatisfied right when you need them. You end up more lonelier than before, more empty, more heartbroken.

Going out with your friends means so much fun:

Wouldn't be nice to hang around with them on a Taco Tuesday, going hiking or bicycling, or dancing the night away? Wouldn't be nice to be with them feel a certain air of companionship? That is the intent, to share experiences, trips, laughs and companionship.

But Here's the Reality:

The older you get, the less friends you will have because, they either got married or have kids or have other things to do (like for example, getting two or three jobs to make ends meet). It's hard to try be with friends who are constantly busy, in other words, they have their own lives, when you have to create your own from scratch.

Doing Hobbies Doesn't Hurt, right?

You have plenty of time, between going to work and home and all of the sudden you feel kinda bored. You have to spend some time, reading books, going to the gym, cooking, sewing, traveling, dancing classes, going back to school among other things. Sky is the limit!

But Here's A Catch:

It needs money. So, if you have a good paying job along with good financial responsibilities, you're in the green. But not every singles have a good paying job. Most have two, even three jobs even and still struggling. Time to work and no time to do other things because you have to pay bills first is our hobby right now. Surviving to keep our roof over our heads is our hobbies and sometimes we suck.

In introspect, being single you get the best or the worst depending on how you view, implement and solve issues to avoid this reality that we're on. That doing things to distract ourselves to avoid the reality of being alone is what makes us have a little bit of sanity. So, if you're here for the first time after a break up or the 20th, you have to get the best of it or else, we could go to the loony bin.