VROOM VROOM VROOM WENT THE MOTOR

VROOM, VROOM VROOM WENT THE ENGINE

NOPE NOT TODAY

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I was sitting on my lanai when I heard the sound.

Turning towards my husband, I said, “Sounds like Gary’s trying to start his boat again. Lotsa luck with that!”

“He really needs to have that old engine professionally repaired. Or better yet, buy a new one!” my husband replied.

I remarked, “I know what you mean, but have you looked at the prices of the new motors lately? They’re astronomical!”

“Yeah I know,” he said. “That’s why I have ours inspected and tuned up regularly. I maintain what I can and when I suspect a problem, I just go directly to the marine repair shop. And besides,” he concluded, “Gary has the money for a new engine. His problem is that he doesn’t use his boat often enough. He can’t expect to start it once a year – out of the water, I might add, and expect it to purr like a kitten.”

We laughed about the name we gave Gary’s boat. While we have no idea if Gary ever officially named his boat, we called it The High And Dry.

Okay, you’re wondering how we came up with than name.

To be honest, I don’t know if boat owners in other states do what we, here in SW Florida do. Most of us had boat lifts installed aside our docks. The boat lift is, well, I guess you could say it’s a boat elevator to lift your boat out of the water to prevent the buildup of barnacles. It’s also used for the boat owner to perform regular maintenance on the boat and/or the motor. We keep ours on the lift so we can use the attached platforms when we wash the grime from the brackish water off the hull. The lift also comes in handy when it’s time to change the oil in the motor. Like other SW Florida boat owners, we find having our boat on a lift makes life so much easier to maintain. To raise the lift, we hold the toggle switch up. When we want to use the boat, we hold the toggle switch down and it gently lowers the boat into the water. No, the boat won’t float away. We keep a rope tied to the cleats on the boat and the dock.

We go fishing very often and have come to know several other anglers in the area who live not too far from our canal. I say this because boaters and anglers always talk to each other about “marine” life. “How’s the boat running?” “I found a great place that sells parts for your motor.” “Just bought a new boat. Can you give me the directions to your mechanic? Want him to check out the motor.” “Have you checked out the new tackle shop yet?” Conversations like this take place on a regular basis.

One day, a friend of ours asked, “Hey, I was wondering. No matter how many times a week I pass Gary’s house, never once have I ever seen his boat in the water. Doesn’t he ever use it?”

My husband chuckled. “I’ve known Gary for just over fifteen years, and I’ve seen him use the boat only once. My wife and I nicknamed his boat the ‘High And Dry’ for just that reason. It’s always on his lift out of the water.”

Our friend laughed, “Good one, Rick. I won’t be forgetting that one. But, if he doesn’t get the motor started, he’s going to have a tree growing out of his bilge.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Mike, didn’t you see what happened about six years ago? That exact thing actually happened.”

“Oh, lord!” was all Mike could say. He was that stunned.

So, here I am on my lanai, and I hear the burping (that’s what I call it since it sure isn’t doing a vroom, vroom sound) of a boat motor that doesn’t want to start.

Rick looks at me. “He’s going to drain that battery if he doesn’t stop.”

“Drain the battery?” I laughed, “You mean it still has enough juice to start the motor? It sure doesn’t sound like it.”

Rick says, “Well, it’s burping so at least that’s a good sign but it sure won’t turn over, and you’re right. It might not have enough juice to actually start.”

“Will you go down to his house and see if you can help?” I asked but already knew the answer.

“Oh no! Last time I tried to help him, he became so indignant that he cursed, called me a few choice names, and told me in so uncertain terms that he knew what he was doing. I said, ‘okay, then, I have things to do at home. Bye,’ and I left. Remember?”

“Oh, yeah, right! I’d forgotten about that. He really got you steamed. I don’t blame you for keeping your distance. Oh well, some people just prefer their own company.”

We heard the burp and gurgle again.

Next thing we heard were a few very loud expletives and we knew without a doubt that Gary had three options:

Option 1: call in a mechanic

Option 2: call in a towing service and have the boat towed to the marine repair shop.

Option 3: buy a new motor.

We have no idea what he’s done or will do. All we know for certain is that because we passed his dock yesterday, his boat is still HIGH AND DRY.