Valentine's Day Ploy

Today is Valentine's Day, so I decide to visit my longtime girlfriend, Valentine. It's a bit funny her name is that, considering the occasion. When I asked her about it, she told me that her parents named her "Valentine" because she was born on the 14th of February.

I decide to go to buy her a chocolate box from Target first, since it's a Valentine's Day tradition. Although, I am a bit annoyed because I've been laid off for the past week.

I go inside of a nearby Target and I smell that fragrant, manufactured accessory scent. I immediately spot a pink heart-shaped boxed of chocolates near the cash register, so I pick up the cheapest one. I also spot my friend, Ethan. He's on the phone, and he's probably buying something too. My instincts tell me to avoid him, and yet I decide to say hi.

"Hi," I walk up to him. "What are you up to?"

"Oh... it's you. I didn't expect to see you," Ethan scowls at me, and hangs up the phone. In his hands, I notice a card. So I was right. "Thomas, I know you've been laid off, so I can buy."

"Are you sure? Because if you are, I'm going to get a more expensive one," I looked at him hopefully.

"I don't mind, since you're poor. You can't imagine my joy of having someone poorer than me as a friend," he looks at me with a blank face. That's normal, since he always has a blank face. Yet, on messaging apps, he sends a ton of emojis and bombards me with memes.

"," I forget to speak. Next time, I'll prepare a witty comeback. For now, I get the most expensive chocolate that this store has.

Completely ignoring my lack of response, he continues. "Ah, it's such a shame though. Valentine's dating a loser such as yourself. She's so cute, and yet she's dating an imbecile, a nerd, a 'soy boy.' Did you buy her from the dark web and forced her into a relationship with yo–oh, and you getting laid off is some kind of excuse? If it is, don't worry, I won't tell the authorities," His acidic tongue just ruined my day, but he doesn't stop there. "Although, Thomas, I would believe you getting laid off too. Perhaps you bought her off the dark web and got laid off after."

"Ethan, please just buy my chocolates," I wimper, feeling like I'm about to cry. "and how would I get laid off after I bought her?! Wouldn't I be going on the dark web in secret?!"

"Tax fraud, I bet," he puts his hand on his chin. Even when making such outlandish claims, he retains his cool.

"What does tax fraud have anything to do with the dark web?!" I exclaim.

"Shush, criminal. Do you want the authorities to get involved? They'll probably associate me with you as well, since I was talking to you about this. It is all your fault that this happened. You never should've brought this up," he looks down in defeat. How was this my fault? It was yours! Don't make me look like the bad guy!

Fast forward.

After Ethan purchased my box of chocolates, I thank him. Even though he says awful comments, we have a good relationship. We both walk outside, and that's when he taps my shoulder.

"Oh, and Thomas. Before I introduced her to you, Val had this notebook. I keep bringing it with me but forget to give it to you or Val," he pulls out a small black notebook from his pocket. Okay, it's small, but not that small. How do you even forget to give that to me?

And yes, it is true that Ethan is the one who introduced me to Valentine. She's good at all aspects of things, which is far from an exaggeration, so I'm not sure why he didn't just steal her for himself.

"Hey, why didn't you just take Valentine for yourself?" I ask him.

"Ah, she's cute, but I'm fine with Alicia," he responds bluntly. "Plus, I'm pretty sure you're happy with Val, right? Otherwise, I'd be more than happy to do a girlfriend exchange." What. Not that I'd be willing to do it, but is he for real? I search his face for emotions, but nothing.

"You keep Alicia. I'll get going now," I say and then turn around.

"Her house is in my direction," Ethan says in a way that sounds even more scornful somehow.

"You're in the way. If you don't move, then I won't be able to make any progress," I don't face him.

"Gosh, who taught you such awful language?" I can already envision his smile. "Whoever did ought to be put to death, whoever they are."

I turn around and I catch him smiling to himself. A rare sight. He looks at me like I'm an idiot, then says that smile was just an illusion that I wanted to see, then bids me farewell and I go on my way. His car is also in my direction, so he follows me.

It only takes 10 minutes to drive from her place to Target. Perhaps I should've asked Ethan to pick me up and drive me to her place.

Oh well.

In the meantime, I decide to read the black notebook. It's a bit difficult to read while driving; it mainly talks about how she likes helping people and has always wanted to be a politician. It makes sense, because her father is a politician himself, so it's a no-brainer on why she'd want to follow in his footsteps. Other than that, it's nothing noteworthy.

I finally arrive at my destination and then I ring the doorbell. I see Valentine and Ethan. Wait, what is going on?

"Thomas, hello! And come inside, it's getting cold," Valentine invites me in and closes the door. I hand the notebook and box of chocolates to her, and she says thanks. Her smile fades for a second when she sees the mud on her notebook, though.

"Why is Ethan here?" I ask suspiciously.

"Because we have a surprise for you," she responds with a warm smile.

"Surprise...?" I ask.

As if on cue, Ethan hands me a card. The same one he had from Target. There's something sticking out of it, too.

"We've both racked up some money since your situation seemed a bit pitiful," He responds to the question I was about to ask. "It's a $20,000 check."

"It's not like that!" Valentine exclaims to Ethan.

"What? No. You guys can keep it," so this is what this was all about. It was to help get me back on my feet again. It's a nice gesture and all, but that's a large sum.

"Just take it. It's our gift to you, because you are our friend. And Valentine's Day is all about love, and we love you the most," Valentine then gives me a kiss. I return it.

"Isn't herpes contagious...?" Ethan asks. "Be careful, Valentine."

I don't have a witty comeback, and neither does she. Afterwards, Alicia stops by, and then we chat about various topics. The day ends there, and I feel grateful that I have such generous friends.

Although, it's either just me or they seem very worried about something.