Understanding a new friend

Third text of the day, beginning to feel like I was being ghosted. Tried calling and went to voice mail after all the chances to answer. Now I was starting to get upset! Used to have everyone answer my texts or voice mails in a timely manner. I define this as one to two hours as an appropriate length of time. Everyone is busy, in that window of time, one can respond with an answer. Having been married for thirty-two years and widowed another nine, learning to interact with the female of today is incredibly challenging. Emails, texts, and voice mails rule the way we communicate today. I have yet to have a discussion on the phone for anything but when and where we would meet. No lengthy calls about finding out more about each other. As a matter of a fact, my friend has not read any emails and attached letters, I have sent to her to my present knowledge. Seems I have a friend who has difficulty answering her voice mails, texts, and emails. A call came through in the car on the way home once and she just kept talking like it wasn’t even there. She has told me repeatedly that she knows she should try to do better with her phone and will. Time will be the judge of that.

Having realized that she really does value our friendship she is opening a little to me saying that she would love to go sing some karaoke songs at a local bar offering the service. And that we will go to dinner at her favorite Korean restaurant when she gets off early enough for us to enjoy the meal without having to rush. I was making great strides and progress when I surprised her with a break cue and a two-cue pool case. I went too far giving her roses the next day. And then got upset with the unanswered texts and voice mails. Thinking I drove her away, she tells me different. I see it in her eyes that she wants to move forward but is tormented with an unresolved issue with a relationship just recently in the past. She felt they were going somewhere, and he had to abruptly leave town and nothing has been resolved since his departure. Having learned to be patient in my past has helped me to recognize her need for me to understand and give her all the time she needs. I came to realize that we are becoming good friends and that is good enough for me.

I pledged unconditional friendship to this lady and as a former US Marine and a man of honor, I intend to maintain this friendship until the time she no longer wishes to have it. If that wish never happens, then our friendship should pass the test of time unconditionally.

The last few days have been brutally hot and I now understand that one’s comfort after a long hot muggy day is all that comes to mind. So not calling or texting that she had a dreadful day should and was obvious to me and so I wait patiently for her to text or call when she is ready to talk or see me again. Until then I will sit in the friend zone and continue with the projects on my agenda.

This story reminds me of how a person should walk in the shoes of another to understand how they feel and see life from their point of view. Remember there is always a reason for things that don’t seem to go the way you think they should. It’s all about empathy and understanding that will help strengthen a relationship or just a friendship. Be kind to your friend and they will surely return that which is given.