Twin Flame

Man im a spiritual person

I love tarot cards, I love getting readings by psychics, and don't get me started on those youtube general readings. At this point you're probably wondering what is my astro sign, well i'm a cancer. I am 23 years old and if I were to tell my younger self that I was going to be interested, in men and women and that I was going to meet a girl in my college, in the same program, and all the same classes I would warn her that it's going to be the most stressful experience yet. In the year of 2019, I was dating my son's father but our relationship was already on and off.

When school started in September I didn't talk to nobody in the class, my first semester in the program of Child and Youth Care was full of weird insecure girls and guys who are just guys. In October I met this girl in my class, i'm not going to mention her name out of respect for her. She probably the first girl I actually fell in love with, she was beautiful, we had the same background, but the only thing is she was three years younger than me I was 22 at the time, and she was 18. I didn't give a fuck because I was attracted to her in every way, my biggest downfall was rushing our relationship. Even though, she was a beautiful girl a part of her personality was ugly. I had eventually told her the feelings I had developed for her, but I already knew she had feelings for me by the way she would act around me.

We talked and we started dating, she had told me that there was a guy in one of her classes that liked her too, but she already told him that she wasn't interested. I didn't see a problem with them hanging out and talking, because I assumed that they were friends. The more I talked to her, the more i fell in love with her but the only off thing that was making me so upset with her, was she did not hang with me after school or on breaks during school. She was always with this guy that I knew liked her, and what I assumed they were just friends. I would questioned myself if she is my girlfriend, why wasn't she hanging with me, why was I travelling almost two hours with my son just to see her, or leaving my son with his father and coming home late just because I wanted to spend time with her. All these things you would see as red flags but I was so in love that I accepted it. Also, probably after two weeks of dating she said our relationship had no title. Questioned if i'm with my son's father because we had a child together, even though she knew what she was getting into when she met me.

Sooner than later I started to get super mad and suspicious because, after I started telling her about how I felt with her chilling with her "friend" nothing changed. Then I found out that he still had feelings for her, That made me even more mad so I told her I don't want her chilling and talking with him anymore. She then accused me of being controlling, she told her sister I was controlling too. Her sister was one year older than her, I knew she did not have experience in love and even if she did who is she to tell me, anything about my relationship with her sister. What I realized is that her sister did not know the whole truth as to why I was so jealous, and asking her sister to stop chilling with this guy.

I remember crying and crying every night because, I was so heartbroken and I knew in my gut something was wrong but had no evidence. My friend at the time knew she was playing with me but she didn't want to talk about it anymore with me, even though she went to the same thing with a guy and I was there for her 100 percent. I had nobody and I wasn't talking to my son. He told me she was playing with me and how it didn't make sense with things, that was going on in our relationship. I had his advice in the back of my mind but i was still so in love that I allowed her to treat me with disrespect. After a while, we started doing that breakup and dating again stupidness. I started to now disrespect her and threaten to leave and go with someone else, since she never stopped chilling with her "friend". I reached my breaking point and I ended up pressuring her, to give me his number and when I finally got it I called him. My son's father was there with me while I was talking to him, but he didn't say anything at all. But, this guy was telling me nothing is going on but it sounded like he was being told what to say. After I got off the phone with him, I started to page my girl and I found out she was in the car with him telling him what to say. My son's father told me I should have broke up with her from there, but I didn't until later.

We were now reaching the end of second semester and I still had no closure, but we ended up breaking up for awhile. We didn't talk over the break and we never seen each other either. When next semester came, I was super anxious and I told people in my class what was going on, if I knew that shit later on was going to back fire on me I wouldn't have done it. The funny thing is, I never met mike at all before second semester i have only seen a pic. When I finally see him, I also see her friends who kept staring at me especially one of them who kept giving me dirty looks. I was telling my son's father everything that was going on, and even though he was telling me let nothing get to me it did. One of my classes, my ex girlfriend wasn't in but he was in there. One day he messaged me, apologizing for his behaviour towards me on the phone but I also apologized as well. At the time I assumed he wasn't doing anything wrong, but I ended up pulling him aside in class and asked him to tell me the whole story with him and my ex. At the time, I was talking to her again and we were flirting not knowing she was telling him something different. When me and him, finally talked in person I was not prepared for what I was about to hear.

He told me that I was begging to date her and that she didn't want to date me, when I was being told by her that she loved me and she wanted me back. I showed him the messages and he got mad, he kicked i then thought in my head that they were more than friends. He told me he slept at her house, they went on dates, and he flirted with her she flirted with him. She said I was controlling and how I wanted her to be a step mom to my child, which was pure bullshit I couldn't believe what I was hearing man. I felt so numb and I wanted to just go home at that point. I also knew that he was adding shit to the story as well and he did not want us back together. I then made a plan with him that me and him would be on the phone, and we would three way her just like she did to me and I didn't know. So, we did it and he heard how much she was telling me that she loved me and she didn't like him. When I give him the cue to talk she was stunned, and couldn't believe that he was on the phone. They argued on the phone and I still listened to them go back and forth, I found out she talked so much shit about me. She also told him that she never had feelings for him, and that hurt him. At this point she started crying, and hung up the phone i didn't even know if I wanted to deal with her after all of that.

Me and her talked after two days after the phone call and not talking, i still loved her but I also felt so numb and i couldn't reciprocate my feelings for her back. Her friends were then talking to me and I kept it cordial, but it still was all a blur and I din't know how to feel. She didn't come to school for two days but we ended up talking again and got back together, everything was good the only thing is I could not express my feelings. I didn't know she told her family some lie about me, and I was close with them before but I felt the vibe after. My son's father told me it was a bad idea to go back with her especially if i wasn't all in. I tried so hard when I was home to gain feelings for her again, and give this relationship all I had but it didn't work. I went to psychics and they said it could work out but her family at the time, did not know we were dating so it would strain our relationship as well. I was also told that we were past lives and we were twin flames, and I never knew what those meant but became infatuated and research and believed that was out relationship.

We had such an intense relationship our connection and intimacy was to die for. No one could ever beat that at least for me no one could even if I were to date someone else. We ended up breaking up and her parents knew we were dating, and we weren't allowed to date all because I made the mistake of telling her sister, I was having a hard time loving her. I already had a vibe from her sister, as if she was jealous of our relationship. I remember at time she would get mad if I chilled with her sister and then when I got home, I was face timing her. Someone who lives in the same house and you're getting jealous, how does that make sense. Anyway, me and my ex stayed talking the whole summer we did everything still that a girlfriend and girlfriend would do without the title. After awhile she lost feelings and my feelings came back but it was too late.

When the new year came we didn't talk she didn't want to be friends, and that hurt me but after we came back together and she wouldn't date me but sex was an option. I allowed it until she told me she was talking to someone, and i was talking to someone too but I stopped. She wanted to have sec but never wanted to date me, and that was hurting me because I wanted to date her but when I finally put my foot down, to protect my heart she ghosted me. I decided that if she came back I wouldn't talk to her, I started to tell classmates what happened but I also didn't know why she stopped talking to me. My life was a mess and I just wanted the semester to end, and she turned my so called "friends" against me. We had a group project and she lie to the teacher that I wasn't doing no work and that I had no involvement, and got the other group members to agree. Thankfully the teacher didn't believe them and I still got an excellent mark, I decided from there I HATED her.

The semester i'm in now she ended up talking to a guy I liked but i let it go, because he didn't liked me and didn't show me effort when we talked. I made new friends but it was hard for a bit seeing her face again. One of her friends asked my friend if i was dating one of my group friends, and my friend told her to ask me and I don't talk to that girl so she wasn't going to ask me anything. My friend and I decided to play a game and pretend to date since people wanted to make a rumor about it. I could see my ex getting jealous and I could see the guy I liked watching me too, but I didn't care and i knew one of her friends liked my friend and I didn't give a fuck either. Im going to end my story right there, but my horoscope says two people who like me are going to come to me next month, and I have a strong feelings it's the guy i liked and my ex. School is hard but I'm getting stronger but that's my story and I might make a part two. Thank you!