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Turning an Online Relationship into a Real-Life Relationship

by Marta Levchenko about a month ago in dating
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It's not only about making things official.

By Joe Yates on Unsplash

When Jeff tried matchmaking sites out of curiosity, he did not know what to expect. It was there that he met Olga, his soon-to-be wife.

Jeff and Olga lived one ocean away from each other — he lived in America while Olga was from Ukraine.

It did not start smoothly at first.

They took the time to get to know each other through chat. Much like Jeff, Olga did not have much experience with online dating, as it was her first time using one.

Little by little, they opened up to each other and talked about the mundane things in life. Because of their different time zones and lifestyles, they initially struggled to find time for each other.

Soon enough, Jeff and Olga managed to work things out. Their calls and messages eventually became a routine for them. They became more comfortable with each other, and it did not take long for them to fall for each other.

However, they did not allow themselves to be easily carried away by their emotions. They both agreed not to make anything official until they had met in person.

Eventually, the time came when they were no longer satisfied with calls and texts. They wanted to get to know each other personally, so they arranged a trip to Paris.

The First Meeting

Planning out the itinerary was easy. The difficult part was figuring out how to greet each other.

Do they approach each other like long-lost friends? Can they initiate physical contact? How casual can they be to each other? The list of questions went on.

When the day finally came, Jeff and Olga did not know how to act around each other. They shied away and often fumbled in between their words.

Every interaction they have had online could not compare to this moment — but that is what made it more exciting.

They tried to bring back the same feeling they had whenever they talked over the phone. After a few sips of coffee, they loosened up and treated each other more warmly.

However, Jeff and Olga were unsure if they were both ready to commit just yet. They did love each other. It is just that they have not reached the point of wanting to get married. They needed more time to get to know one another. A week was not enough to help them decide.

“Out of Sight, Out of Mind.” vs. “Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder.”

Jeff and Olga’s relationship was not perfect, but it was real.

Long-distance relationships were almost a given when it comes to online relationships — and it is most often what brought most relationships to an end.

Other people would often fall out of love when they are not in constant contact with their partners. Some people would only grow more fond of a person if they were away.

The thing about relationships is that they are heavily dependent on physical touch. It is one of the most common issues in online relationships.

Being close to each other helps strengthen the bond between partners. Then again, there are some other aspects that make a relationship work, too, like compatibility, shared goals, and similar life plans.

Jeff and Olga managed to make it work because they had all three in spades. They respected each other’s personal beliefs, and they never allowed their differences to get in the way of their relationship.

It did not take long for them to be open to marriage. There were no surprise proposals. Instead, they had a straightforward conversation about whether they were ready for the commitment.

The After Story

Jeff and Olga’s journey was slow, but it was sure and steady. They both knew what they wanted in the end, and they patiently waited for each other.

It is not the typical whirlwind kind of romance you see on TV and read in books. It was realistic and organic – they allowed their love to grow and solidify. They waited for the right time.

There is more to online love stories than terrible breakups. Not everything is all about bittersweet exes or a messy divorce. It can also be about new beginnings and lifetime romances.

The thing is, the bad always outweighs the good. People are bound to remember terrible news more than they do good news. This is how people develop a stigma against online dating.

The general public sees online dating as a last resort for desperate people.

The funny thing is that online dating users do not see online dating as a desperate attempt at love. Instead, they see it as an opportunity to meet new people.

Online relationships (much less long-distance relationships) can be hard to handle if you do not know what you are getting into. When you commit to someone, you stay true to your word. Otherwise, you are going to hurt your partner and yourself.

If you want your online relationship to work out, be your most genuine self. Do not set yourself up for failure by putting on an online persona. That will be one more struggle you have to deal with in the future.

Stay true to yourself and your partner, and you’ll be much happier in your relationship.

Excerpt from Jeff’s letter to the Matchmaking Site

“It would be almost 6 months [until] we would see each other again due to immigration procedures. However, it was well worth the wait! She arrived in the U.S. in January, and after spending some time together, we [got] married on Valentine’s day and have been [blissfully] happy ever since. It is still astounding to both of us that we found the other halves of our souls on the other side of the world.

So for your other [clients] seeking the woman of their dreams, I [would] advise them to take a chance! The worst that can happen is you lose the price of an address. The best is the opportunity to find true love.

[Sincerely],

Jeff and Olga

P.S.(from OLGA) I've got the best husband in the world. Thank you!”

Marta Levchenko, Professional Matchmaker and Dating Consultant

dating

About the author

Marta Levchenko

Professional Matchmaker and Dating Consultant for Foreign Affair

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