True Appreciation

Pawnee, Oklahoma, is the headquarters for the Pawnee Indian Tribe. Near the center of town stands a small Indian church regularly attended by about eighteen people. Among the small congregation is an old traditional Indian woman who only speaks her mother tongue. Few remaining Pawnees remember the old language.

Each Sunday, one of the church families would take the little old woman home with them for dinner. She had no family of her own. As months went by the congregation began to whisper to each other about their experience with the old Indian elder.

Each Sunday she would quietly eat with different families and then spend a couple of hours sitting on the porch or in the living room while family visited and kids played. The old woman never talked. When it came time for her to leave, she would take the hands of her hosts and say something strange in her native tongue. The hosts, not knowing what she was saying, would smile, nod and then take her home. Always she said the same thing and everyone wondered what it meant. It became the talk of the little church.

One day an old uncle came to visit from Taos, New Mexico. He joined the little old woman on the Sunday visit for dinner. The hosts were delighted to discover that the uncle spoke the old Pawnee language and was able to converse with the grandmother. As always before leaving, she took the hands of her hosts and uttered her same expression of gratitude, but on this day everyone knew they would finally learn the meaning of her speech. “What did she say,” they asked old the uncle.

He smiled and told them, “She said, ‘I feel better about myself having spent this precious time with all of you.’”

What greater gift is there than this: to come away from any experience saying, “I now feel better about myself due to your kindness.” Let this be the feeling of all who cross our paths in life. How wonderful it is to be with someone who knows and values us with deep appreciation.

Appreciation, however we express it, builds bridges and fosters healthy relationships. Too often we underestimate the true power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring. All of these things have the power to turn a life around.

John F. Kennedy said “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

Willie Nelson said, “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” And, Oprah Winfrey said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” Kindness and appreciation is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

There are many folktales about gratitude and appreciation. One famous example is the story of Androcles and the Lion. An escaped slave named Androcles stumbles upon a lion in the forest. The lion has a terrible thorn stuck in his paw. Androcles removes it for him. Later, both are captured, and Androcles is sentenced to be “thrown to the Lion.” Even though the lion is ravenously hungry, he merely licks his friend’s hand in greeting. The Emperor, astonished, sets both Androcles and his lion friend free.

One good turn deserves another.

Let us learn to appreciate what we have and may we be as the old Indian Elder who was able to say, “I feel better about myself having spent this time with you.”