Toxic Relationship: Find it and Fix it

Fragrance of roses, colors of tulips, sweetness of chocolate springs in your life with a beautiful, healthy relationship. Root to leaf of your life plant wilts when it’s surrounded by weeds. Such a monstrous weed can be your toxic relationship. An elegant rose dipped in acid will overturn your peaceful life. It’s better to pull toxic weed before it is too late since toxic relationship will adversely affect your health and well-being. There aren’t any relationships without its fair share of challenges. Every relationship goes through trials, but healthy relationship blooms when couples resolve these challenges and learn lessons from it.

Love sprouts with romantic phase, and this phase makes the love birds cloudy as time flies. It is the reason most people miss red flags when they get hoisted in their relationship. It’s important to watch some patterns in your relationship to find if it’s toxic. A toxic relationship damages both partners and if they have kids, it can affect their physical and mental health. Notice red signs, as it’s better late than never.

Red Flag in a Relationship:

The consistency, the intensity and the damage define a toxic relationship. Here are some of the red flags.

You’re Gaslighted

When your partner manipulates and uses distraction technique to distort the truth, then he/she is making you victim. Gaslighting can damage you to great extent. Please don’t take it lightly. When your loved one undermines your sense of reality, you get trapped in a nowhere land where you’ll feel bad, inadequate and crazy all the time. Gaslighting in the long-term can destroys your self-esteem and confidence and trap you in a dysfunctional relationship. It may start out as minor offenses, but you’ll end up at instances where you might question your own judgement.

When you feel your partner manipulates you, trust your instinct. Don’t be harsh on yourself. It is a red flag. Time to fix if your partner does it unintentional. If you find your partner does it intentionally, then it is high-time to move out of the toxic relationship.

You’re Love Bombed

You're bombarded with love: hearing this at the first instant may feel so good. Constant pouring of love 24/7 is not a healthy sign. You may feel the pressure of being in love. Too much love poured by your partner will make you feel being controlled by him/her. Anything in moderation is good for life, including love. Love bombing is a red flag. It’s right time to convey to your partner that it is not ok to bug you by love bombing you instead it is creepy.

You’re a victim of his/her jealousy

Fear of losing the loved one and insecurities cause jealousy. As a human, we can’t cut off the feeling called jealousy, but when your partner’s jealousy tampers the trust in your relationship, it is unhealthy. If your partner hacks your phone and your social media, he/she is prying your privacy, and it is not correct. Any relationship with depleted trust won’t work because trust is the foundation of a relationship. It’s time to work on your relationship if jealousy intervenes with trust.

You’re always blamed

Whenever you feel you’re blamed or lashed out for no particular reason and if your partner’s mood swing makes you take the blame, then your relationship needs a quick fix. You can’t take the burden of your partner’s bad day through his/her anger. A healthy relationship occurs only when the couple can express how they feel and what emotional support they yearn from each other.

Your partner Stonewalls you

Communication is the key in any relationship. Couples should discuss the hard topics and pressing issues with ease and openness. If your partner flees or does silent treatment every time when you strike an important conversation, then it is a red flag. Your partner may use stonewalling as a technique to avoid such conversations. In the long-run, stonewalling will ruin the relationship as there would be no healthy argument or conversation between you and your partner.

You’re more stressed or anxious

If you often feel stressed to talk with your partner, feel uncomfortable when you’re around your partner, lose your identity and feel you are doing everything to please him/her, then you are in a toxic relationship. Healthy relationship will make you happy and reduce your stress level in life.

You’re under his/her clutches

A person who puts his/her desire and needs first and always enjoys the take part in give and take concept does narcissism. Narcissistic behavior involves taking the control and dominating the other. If your partner snatches the freedom from you and takes authority over you, it is a major sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. Healthy relationship doesn’t involve domination. It involves equal rights and balance in give and take.

You’re disrespected

A toxic partner takes the other for granted. They might hurt you using baneful words. Any form of harm your partner poses to you is a sign of disrespect. Your love is not precious than your self-respect. If you feel you’re losing respect, then obviously you are in a toxic relationship. It’s time to put your head high and walk away from your toxic partner.

Bottom Line

When you find signs that your smooth relationship turned into toxic, don’t feel guilty or blame yourself. Accept and try to fix it. If nothing works, make a closure and move on. When you feel you got stuck in an abusive relationship, seek help without hesitation. You don’t have to live your life by compromising in an abusive relationship and it is not ok to do it. Call your country’s National Domestic Violence Helpline number and seek help. Peace of mind is precious than your feeling of love.