Too Many First Dates

Dating is hard. This is always true, but it can be even harder when you're part of the LGBTQ+ community. Trust me. I know from first hand experience. So many things can go wrong, and let's be honest, a lot of guys are just out for one thing. You know what I'm talking about. This is my story of trying to find love, and bear with me, because it's a doozy.

I've been on more first dates than I can count. That's usually all I get is just one first date. For the longest time, I thought it was me. I thought that maybe I was being too picky or that I was too much for other people to handle. Then I decided that it was them, that they were too picky.

I remember my first, first date. The guy I was meeting was quiet, but super smart. He was fun to talk to, and I actually enjoyed being around him. At least, until the first date. That's where everything went south, and quickly. He wanted me to sleep with him, because that's what you're supposed to do. I told him I was uncomfortable with that. He told me to leave.

I tried to brush it off and try again. Which led to my second first date. His name was Alyx. He was so kind. He called me handsome. Told me I would be somebody someday. It seemed perfect, too perfect. In the end, it was. Except, this time it was me. Alyx turned out to be boring. He didn't know how to hold a conversation. I felt bad when I left him after the first date, but I didn't know what else to do. We just weren't compatible.

Then I had a third, and a fourth, and a fifth first date. The number kept growing, but I never made it to the second date. I honestly got to the point of giving up. It didn't seem worth it. Maybe I was meant to be unhappily single. It was better than unhappily dating. At least that's what I told myself to make myself feel better. It didn't work, by the way.

I must have been looking pathetic, though. My best friend, Erica, told me to snap out of it. She kept insisting that I'd find the right guy eventually. I didn't believe her, and I didn't make an attempt to change things. Of course, this meant she had to take matters into her own hands. She set me up on a blind date with a guy named James. She promised I'd love him, that we would be perfect for each other.

Which brings me to first date number who knows what anymore. James asked me to come to dinner at his place. He was a chef, so he spent all his time at a restaurant, so he'd prefer to not eat out. I went to his place with little optimism. I had no reason to belive that this ould be any different than any other first date. For the first time in a while, though, I was nervous. I felt like because Erica had set this up, that there was a little more to this one.

I wasn't sure what to wear, so I settled for somewhere in between casual and formal. I stood outside of his apartment for a while, before getting the courage to knock on the door. The door opened, and the goofy grinning guy that Erica had showed me a picture of stood there wearing an apron that said "kiss the chef" and a chef's hat.

"Oh, hey Adam! You find your way here okay?" Points to him, he was concerned about me finding my way here. That was a solid start.

"I did! Cute get up by the way."

"Oh, this is all I have for cooking here. It's kind of funny, I think." I could tell he was nervous. Which made me feel better about being nervous myself. "Anyway, come on in. Dinner will be ready soon. Then we can watch a movie or pay games or something. We'll figure it out."

I followed him into his apartment, and fell in love with it immediatley. It had a modern feeling interior, while also being cozy. The living room and the kitchen were separated by a bar counter. Pressed against the counter was a small table for two. The places were set already.

"Nice place. I like it."

"Thanks!" He walked toward the kitchen, stopping at the table. "Do you like wine?" He held up a bottle.

"I love it, thank you."

He poured me a glass of merlot, and handed it to me. "Make yourself comfortable while I finish dinner."

Before I knew it, dinner was being served. It was a pot roast, and it was delicious. Our dinner was filled with small talk that quickly turned into something more. We had so much in common, it was unreal. After dinner, we retired to his living room and played some games. It all just felt so natural. It was so refreshing.

Before I knew it, I had to get going. For the first time that I can ever remember, I was sad to have to go. Before I went, James asked if he could kiss me. I told him, yes. It was a sweet and tender first kiss. Then he asked if we could see eachother again. Usually, at this point, I would be shaking my head and running in the opposite direction. Not this time. Instead, I nodded, and said "I'd like that a lot."