To the Woman Before

To the woman before me,

Thank you.

No, really, thank you.

You gave me the opportunity to be loved by the most amazing young man in the world. You also gave him the chance to be loved the way he deserves.

Now, I can't say I can thank you for everything you did to him. In truth, sometimes whenever he or his friends mention your name, for example: funny story that you were there for, I can't help the bitterness that I get on the back of my throat. It's almost like a shot of whiskey I had swallowed, the liquid causing me to gag from the burn and the flavour. I hate whiskey. I prefer vodka.

You really did a number on him. For a time you reeled him in, used his body and tug on his heart strings, not caring about his feelings at all. You went back and forth between him and another guy, in the end, deciding that he wasn't good enough after a night of lovemaking and called your other man to pick you up.

You broke him then, didn't you know?

I, being new, although not completely innocent to college birthday parties, met him through a group of friends. He played at the ping pong table, being the champion that he is as I hung back, still a newcomer in the environment. I was standing with our mutual friend when I noticed him. He appeared to have a mask on his face, one that was clearly visible only to myself. I think he saw it on my face as well. I had been dealing with a rough breakup nearly the year before and I was still dealing with the aftermath. Despite the heartbreak, I was surviving. I'm a great actress, but not the best.

After we hung out the first few nights, our mutual friends came to me declaring that there was a new light within their friend. They said, he was brought back to life and I helped him come back from the dark well you put him in.

Although it angers me greatly at times, I thank you for that. It made him stronger.

Thank you for not telling him you loved him.

I am lucky to have that privilege. Of having such a wholesome man say to me those pure three words, "I love you", and mean it with every ounce of his being.

It took him a long time to tell me he loves me. Almost eight months into the relationship, I bit my tongue, almost hard enough to break the skin, to not say it myself until he was ready to hear it. I slipped once or twice, but held strong in making it work between us, even without the promise of his love. For the longest time, he was on the edge, ready to leave if he sensed his heart would be ripped and trampled on once again. Slowly but surely, I saw the scars on his heart heal. It took patience and lots of it, but it was worth every moment.

It was a beautiful moment between us. Once he said it I burst into tears. I had wanted to hear those words from him for so long. Now, he is an honest man and hates dishonesty. If you say something, you say it with meaning, that is what he believes in. And by the grace of God, this man loves me!

Once he said it, I knew it was genuine. Something so incredible! To be loved by someone who loves you entirely! Even though I'm the not the thinnest, most insecure, stubborn mule of all! How could someone throw the chance to be loved truly and deeply just by being who you are, I will never know.

Thank you for returning!

You came to his door just an hour after I left his apartment. You were angry that we went out on a date and all the mutual friends were ranting about how done he was with you. And boy was he ever over you. He saw his worth then, and saw who you really were, and not who you pretended to be. The fear I felt that day when he told me you stopped by the place made my heart drop to the floor. I thought he was caught in your trap yet again and he would desert me for you as many others in my past have. How that fear changed to pride so quickly made my head spin. When he told me he kicked you out and said you found someone who will treat you better then she ever did made me grab him by the neck and kiss him until we were both breathless and I had the biggest smile on my face. Your ego was so bruised that someone could get over you so quickly and move on with someone else, that you thought returning would change his mind! You thought him as unworthy of you, when, in fact, you were not worthy of his love and devotion. It makes me pity you.

Now, I must thank you for the most important thing.

Thank you for bringing him to me.

All my life, since I was young, I had not known true love from a man. If life had not gone the way it has, if you hadn't done the things you did exactly, we would have never found each other. I believe if you were still with him, playing him like a fiddle, we might have missed out on something beautiful and real. A true love story in the making.

We have been together for almost three times as long as you were with each other last and we intend to spend the rest of our time alive together.

So, once again, thank you, for everything.

There is no end to our happiness because of you.

Sincerely,

The woman after you.