To start this off, I like to write about topics, things, and people that make me happy and help me to feel inspired. It is the reason why I titled this the way it is. If I plan on writing here more often then I should get comfortable talking about my personal life and the people that impact me the most. This article is specifically dedicated to the man I fell for about five months ago as a reminder that no matter what hardships that we go through together I truly do love you and I do not plan on going anywhere.
I feel like I should give an insight on how he is as a person. I am a little below average height person; being 5'5 the man that I love is only an inch or two taller than me. With that, he has this image to him that is what you expect of somebody who had to grow up from a young age. More on the mature side and keeps to himself and doesn't easily trust people he first meets. When heavily burdened by his emotions he takes it out a way that better relieves him like getting into trouble and going into a fight. When first meeting people he is similar to me and stays on the quiet side unless involved in a conversation. Now as I describe how he is to the public eye I need to explain how I have an effect on him.
I know when he reads that I wrote this part about him he is going to pick a bone with me but you know what, I love you, so let me talk. With me when we have our own space together without others he indeed acts the opposite of his public persona as in he acts like a "softy." He gives me that look that every girl dreams of getting from someone she is in love with, where there is happiness, hope, and most of all love. When I see this look in his eyes he gets this soft smile on his face and his body relaxes as if every burden has disappeared from his mindset. His arms feel like the safety and security of the home I wanted as a little girl full of warmth. Even when I cried once against his chest late at night and I tried to push myself away, he held onto me tighter kissing my head telling me "I'm here baby. It's gonna be okay...I'm not going anywhere."
There was one night, among the many I cherished with him where it was 3 AM and I laid in his arms. While I was in his arms he sang "Darling I Do" to me and all I could focus on was the tone of his voice. How there was a shaky undertone because he was nervous as well as a gentleness that I cherish so much about him. Thinking of these memories makes me miss him more than I usually do because he is 1,002 miles away from me.
About a month or two ago he moved away to a different state for work with his family. The day he left was one of the hardest days I ever had to experience and how I didn't get a chance to kiss him goodbye. I always wonder why I never got to see him before he left. I always tell myself how he had to move as soon as possible to start work but a part of me wants to believe that him leaving hurt him emotionally as it hurt me and how my heart ached for him to not go. Even days after he left I would cry at night because I didn't want to sleep unless I was in his arms again so I would wake up in a dream that came true instead of a nightmare.
As I write about our memories together I can't help but shed a handful of tears like I do every other night now because I miss him so much. I don't think he realizes how my heart belongs to him and how I don't know what I will do to myself if something ever happened to him. I love him.
To the reader, I ask you to reread what I wrote and think about someone you love with your heart and soul. If you are like me and couldn't hold back the tears because you miss them and crave their love, then I'll be the one that tells you, like me, you love them more than you ever realized. Don't question it, enjoy it and let that fuel encourage you.