Tips For Transgender Men

Hi! So, I thought I'd make a list of things I wish I had known or been told once I started transitioning. I came out when I was 15 and, despite how hard it's been, I've never looked back.

#1 Your transition is your own, no one else's

Some people might try to tell you that there is a right or wrong way to transition. They are wrong. Not all trans men can or want to have surgery, some can't bind, some don't want to start T. This does not make you any less valid. Your transition is yours and yours alone. Never let anyone take that from you.

I also want you to take that into account when reading what else I've written. I'm not trying to tell you how to transition, these are just things that I wish I could go back and tell my younger self.

#2 Buy a decent binder

I know how tempting it is to get your hands on some sort of binding as quickly as possible. Believe me, I know that all too well. My first binder was some sports bandages that I DEFINITELY didn't steal from a local shop. It worked great, but my skin came up in pressure rashes and My chest and shoulders always hurt. After that, I got the cheapest binder I could find (£5) and it was worse. Years on from using those products, i still have serious joint issues in my neck, back and shoulders. I promise you that waiting until you can get a decent binder is worth the wait. You don't want to do so much damage that you can't have surgery.

#3 If you want to hide your curves, only go up to 1 size up

I know a lot of people tell you to wear baggier clothing to hide things like your hips and chest, but if you go to big, it might look strange. In addition to that, massive clothes can make you look smaller than you are, and I know what it's like to have height dysphoria.

Going up a size or 2 can really help with creating your ideal body shape, but it's god to be aware of taking it too far.

#4 Always carry and emergency sports bra

One of the worst feelings is being far from home or a safe place where you can take your binder off when you really need it. I've been a 2 hour walk from home with no money to get a bus when m binder has started giving me grief. I was in pain and struggling to breathe, and the poorly made seams were cutting into me. If I'd has a sports bra on me, I would have gone into a public bathroom, switched them over and gotten on with my day. My date was ruined for both me and my partner that day and I've definitely learned my lesson.

Also, listen to your body. If you are struggling with binding, it's time to take a break.

#5 You are not obliged to tell anyone the details of your transition

I'm sure you've heard it: "Have you had the surgery?", "So... do you have... you know...", "What's your real name though?", and so forth. You have no obligation to answer these peoples' questions. I cannot stress this enough: your transition is yours. You can tell the people who you are comfortable with knowing about it but you don't have to answer every invasive question you get.

If they persist, feel free to remind them that you haven't once thought about what's in their pants since the start of the conversation and find it kind of inappropriate to ask someone such a thing.

I genuinely hope that someone out there finds these helpful. I might make a second one if I can remember anything else that I think would be useful. Please take care of yourself and have a wonderful day.