Tinder is so 1988?

In 2019, individuals turn to dating apps in order to "put themselves out there." Whether it is Tinder, Bumble, Hinge etc. humans can use a plethora of social interfaces to find connections that may lead to love.

Now that meeting over the phone, or an app on the phone, is so easy, more and more couples are finding partners online. Before the explosion of smart phones, social media, and dating apps, humans were meeting through a variety of ways such as: volunteering, speed dating, blind dates, through friends etc. These ways of meeting a partner are more traditional and were in the norm prior to the online boom. Even speaking as a millennial now, if a majority of us asked our parents how they met, it most likely would be one of the aforementioned traditional methods. Ted Mosby, from the hit sitcom How I Met Your Mother turned to Love Solutions in season 1 to take a crack at finding love through specifically designed algorithm. The algorithm was not kind to Ted (for those that know the episode), but luckily he met his wife through friends. Ted could not find love without traditional methods and that is A okay. Even now there is a chance that the person reading this will have already met their partner through traditional methods.

The point of bringing that up is that the episode aired in 2005 before there was even one dating app (Grindr was the first one released back in 2009). So potentially if you are reading this (pending how old you are) you may have already met your partner through traditional methods as well. Which is why if your kids asked how you and your partner, met it probably would be one of the traditional ways as well. (Once again this is really dependent upon how old the reader is).

Now if you asked me how my parents met, my answer would be different. My answer would be "my parents met on the phone." That is correct! In the year 1988 my mom and my dad met on the phone in two different Northern California cities. In 1988 two complete strangers met on the phone for work, which was unprecedented at the time.

My mom was a paralegal for a law firm in San Francisco, and my dad was an associate for a filing company in Sacramento. At this point in time, it is still early January in 1988 and at the start of the new year, both of my parents were busy getting paperwork started and approved for the backing of fledgling companies. Day in and day out phone calls would be made for clarification over documents that I honestly have no idea what they were for or what they were called. Communication and hard work were the only two things certain to get them through busy season.

To combat trying times, my dad would arrive to work about 2 hours early to get a head start on the day. He was so used to being the only one at work early that it startled him when the phone began blaring. *Ring* *ring*. After letting it ring more than once, my dad realized that this was a purposeful call and it wasn't a mistake. "Hello this is George" my dad answered. My mom said, "Hi George I am calling in regards to..." and this was the very first interaction my parents ever had.

For the next couple of weeks my parents would have similar interactions with each other early in the morning. These conversations would never progress past normal work talk, but harmless small talk began to blossom past superficial/business conversations. "What color is your hair?" my dad asked. "Why do you want to know?" my mom replied. "I am just curious? Ya know, curious George." Even back then my dad had dad jokes mastered. Reciprocating, my mom also asked questions about my dad's physical appearance. The two of them kept going back and forth describing each other until both of them had an image in their heads of what the other looked like.

To my dad, my mom was 5'6", had green eyes, high cheek bones, and light brown hair. To my mom, my dad was 5'11", athletic build, long black hair. This was nice in theory for both of them, something to focus on while continuing to get to know each other over the phone. One day, my mom dropped a bomb on my dad: she asked him to lunch. My dad said yes and promptly bought a round trip bus ticket to San Francisco for the following week. My mom picked a landmark restaurant in downtown and they had agreed to meet there.

At the end of the week, my dad boarded his bus Friday morning so he could get to San Francisco on time. He was treating it as if he was arriving early for work. He arrived at the restaurant and told the host his last name, she steered him toward the table where my mom was waiting for him. Once my dad was in my mom's line of sight she started to cackle because she was laughing so hard. "George?" She said. "Yeah?" my dad answered. "Why are you laughing" he said. My mom responded with "because you are not what you said you looked like." "Yeah, wellllllll neither are you" my dad stammered.

Both erupted in deep laughter. It turned out that both of them lied about their appearance to entice the other into meeting them. Even with the initial lie, my parents still had lunch and before they knew it, 5 hours had passed. They were so engulfed with each other and the conversation that time was merely an illusion, but they were asked to leave the restaurant. As they were walking out my mom said, "George we shouldn't see each other again because we both are romantically involved with other people." My dad stood there mouth agape and did not say anything, he just nodded. They shook hands professionally and agreed to continue to do work together.

The next Monday it was as if nothing had changed. My dad still arrived to his office early, he still made the coffee, the phone rang, and it was like clock work. The glaring difference was the tone at which he and my mom spoke on the phone. My dad later told me that my mom was so cold over the phone it was as if she was personifying Winter. As they were concluding the business talk my dad interjected saying, "By the way... I broke up with my girlfriend Saturday night." *Gasp* "I broke up with my boyfriend Sunday morning! What are you doing this weekend?" my mom answered.

From that moment, it was literally 3 months until my father proposed. After the proposal, it was another short 3 months until they were married. "Wait, why? isn't that too soon?" may be what some of you are thinking and you may be thinking it would be destined to be a failed marriage. I would be thinking the same thing too if I did not know that from that moment they have been married for thirty-one years and continue to find more things to love about each other each day. My parents have raised a family, traveled the world, and taken life in stride together.

It does not matter how you meet your partner. I only used Tinder as an example in the title because people are meeting more frequently an app on the phone (in my parents case an actual phone). Love always works in mysterious ways and if it works for you then run with it. Do not let other people dictate how you go about finding the love of your life.