Those People in Your Life
The Family You Get to Choose
Today is one of those days when I feel like I am lucky enough to be surrounded by the family I got to choose. Many people think that your family is your family because of the blood and DNA connecting you, but that is not the case for me. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of actual blood relatives that I love and rely on for support and understanding. However, I'm one of the lucky ones where I get to surround myself with the family I made. These additional members of my "family" are amazing people who love and support me.
I have a group of girls that would literally drop everything and surround me with love if I needed it. Such was the case a few years back when I broke up with my long time boyfriend. I called one of them and told her I was coming over and when I got there, they were all there, ready to hold me up when I just felt like curling up in a ball and disappearing. Mind you, one of them had a four-month-old baby with her and even that didn't stop her from showing up.
I am a sufferer from generalized anxiety and occasional depression. Having these people in my life is my line to the real world. They are the reason I go out when I feel like I can't face the world. I know that when I get to where ever they are, I will be greeted with giant hugs and smiles. It's hard to find a tribe of people who can surround you with love and understanding, but there's a tribe out there for everyone.
Don't get me wrong, there are definitely people who are put in your life to show you the way to your tribe, but in the process you realize what heartbreak feels like. Losing a friend can be as heartbreaking as losing a significant other. One of my best friends had a friend who they were friends with for a long time, we are talking years. That friend continued to use her and put her at the back of the line. It's frustrating to watch your friend get used and abused because there's very little that you can do to change the situation. It's very much like watching a train wreck, you can't seem to turn away, even if you wanted to help. In the end, that friend ended up saying something so unforgivable that my best friend finally had to cut ties. Cutting ties with someone who you consider your best friend is like stabbing yourself with a knife. But I think that in the long run, it taught her that there are some people in your life that aren't worth it even if you've known them for a long time.
For me, my ex brought me into this group of friends that is now my family. When we broke up, I thought I might be losing my family and I was devastated. When those girls surrounded me and vowed that they were still my friends and they were going nowhere, I realized that from this horrible relationship and heartbreaking break-up, I ended up with the best thing I could have ever asked for in my life: my tribe. And now, years later, I am in the best relationship I could have asked for, and I still have my tribe to support me and love me when I need it. Lucky enough for me, I don't need it as much as I used to because I've realized how very lucky I am.