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This Is It

'A touch is calming.'

By Lindsey ParksPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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A Story of Love After Death

A touch is calming. Your touch, on the other hand, is like an electric vault consuming my every being. Like when we met eyes and notice that our thoughts were on the same wave. No words express the emotions screaming from my heart. My energy is nonexistent without you introducing my every emotion. You just you. All I want, all I think about. You ran with all of it. Yet I kindly asked you to take me. But a smile is all I got instead. How dare you?

You taunt me with your whispers in my ear. With the tossing and turning of my dreams. This you and this me isn't how I imagined it would be. I'm playing Russian roulette with a ghost. A fool is what I must be. I can't imagine life without you. I saw your body. I know it is real. But here I am talking to you more than I talk to anyone else. Screaming I love you, mumbling what have you done to me. Living in fear of you really leaving me. This love, oh this love. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but us.

I guess you just get it. You know I am nothing without you. So even in death, you choose to stay with me. Nothing loved is ever lost. I knew you would find me. I knew you wouldn't just go away without finally loving me how I needed you to. I owe you so much for giving me all you have. For being here. Right now. I know eventually, you will release me from this nonsense. But for now, I don't want to be in love with anyone else. At this exact moment, you have all of me.

I find myself in the mist of the mornings, finally dancing in the rain. The confusion no longer eating away at me. The what-ifs all gone up in smoke. You changed me. And I can't even fathom the thought without tears of joy running down my face. How lucky am I? To know you, to feel you. To be with you. All of you. For you to love me so much to wait for me. For you to continue to hold my hand while I do life without you. I wouldn't want anyone else to know my heart the way you do.

For you are mine and I am yours. My magical prince in heaven. Guarding my every move. Assuring me of what I am feeling. Reminding me daily of my promise, and that my friend we will never forget. An unbreakable bond even in death. How crazy beautiful our time has been. And is yet to be.

For now, I will dance with your ghost, every chance that I get. I'll shower slowly so that you can hold me while I cry. I'll turn the radio up as loud as it will go and watch your memories embarrass me worse than before. I will ask you a million and one times how much you love me. I'll go fishing just so you can laugh at how bad of a catch I truly am. I won't let go. Of the memories. Of this moment, or the ones to come. The ones before. Although faintly beating, here I am without you. Awaiting the warmth of your touch.

love
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About the Creator

Lindsey Parks

I am a single mom of five. I love life, laughing, and loving. I am a sucker for a good time. I believe you are not living unless your making crazy memories. Last but not least I so cherish my littles, and will always let them be little.

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