Things Never Changed in Unhealthy Relationships

Unhealthy relationships don't start off as tricky. They begin like any other romance, and it’s rather difficult to recognize their true nature.

Violence may occur between people who might be in relationship, dating or married. It can vary from emotional to some form of physical abuse.

Unhealthy behavior may happen in online connections too. 24% of internet users have experienced calling offensive names and stalking. Women can become victims of sexual abuse during their communication via messengers.

It’s common in toxic relationships for the abuser to initially hide their true colors. They present themselves as the ‘perfect partner’ and align their actions and words with what their partner desires. They show affection trying to win trust and love. And when the true nature of the relationship begins to reveal itself, it's hard to believe.

As the relationship progresses, the abuser slowly introduces manipulative behavior. It's like a slow poison, so gradual that you can't pinpoint when it started. Small things like a stern action, an unfair accusation, or periods of silent treatment start creeping in. They are varied to moments of affection that create a confusing mix of love and pain. This push-pull dynamic is a classic sign, keeping the victim in a constant state of uncertainty.

In unhealthy relationships, there's a pattern – a cycle of abuse. It's a mix of calm periods where everything seems fine, followed by tension and eventually, explosive arguments or emotional abuse (extreme jealousy, possessiveness, unpredictability). During the peaceful times, you remember the person you fell in love with, and it encourages hope. But then, the cycle repeats, trapping you in a whirlwind of highs and lows.

Unhealthy relationships often start with interfering in the victim’s life. The abuser tries to control of what the partner wears and how they act, partner’s mobile phone, finances (economic abuse) and limit the partner’s social interactions with others. By cutting you off from friends and family, they increase your dependence on them. This isolation can be so effective that reaching out for help or even recognizing the abuse becomes incredibly difficult.

A key tactic of abusers is blame shifting. They are masters at turning the table, making you feel responsible for their actions. This often leads to self-doubt and guilt, making you question your own reality. It's a form of manipulation so powerful that you might start believing that you're at fault or even ‘crazy’.

Fear is a powerful tool in the hands of an abuser. Fear of emotional harm, expecting some bad effects (threatening to take the children away, to leave, to commit suicide) or the unknown can be paralyzing.

It isn’t normal, if you do not feel safe in relationship. Emotional or verbal abuse is not OK. Physical abuse isn’t a sign of passionate love, and abusive partner need not your help. Be responsible for you and your own safety. First it’s important to build a plan, and try to find support from friends, family, and professionals. Talk to people, let them know you end your relationship and seek support. You can stay in relationship for some time or leave a toxic relationship when you are ready to go.

Healing from an abusive relationship can be a difficult process. Support groups and therapy can help to understand what happened in unhealthy relationship, how to prevent similar patterns in the future to set boundaries, and recognize the signs of a healthy relationship. This way you can rebuild self-esteem and discover to trust again.

You do not deserve to be abused. You can and will be wanted and loved. Love is not about power and control. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship.