Things Men Wish They Knew About Women Before Tying The Knot

Here’s the thing about getting married: It’s fun and all. It’s the next step in your life and all. Yeah, I get it.

Marriage brings with it a lot of changes in a man’s life. A lot of responsibilities. I know you will nail everything.

But there’s one change, or rather a scary transformation, that most men tend to overlook.

The transformation of the girlfriend into a wife.

Her metamorphosis begins the moment she rings your ring finger and continues forever across different stages of your life.

Are you ready to tackle all her questions, doubts, complaints, and concerns?

1. She will be super jealous

Yes, be prepared.

Your GF was not the same as your wife. Nope. She owns you now, legally. Yes, it’s on paper now for God’s sake.

There will be vigilance with everything. It’s like she magically acquired all the traits of a police officer.

She will have a special eye on your phone, who you’re calling, what you’re talking about. The faces you make when you chat with someone. She knows if you get a string of texts when you shouldn’t be getting. You are under her radar now.

Be prepared to answer questions like these:

Who are you texting at this time?

Why are you smiling when you are texting?

Who’s so special to text you at this hour?

Why do you get a string of texts at this time every day?

It may as well just be your buddy from the workplace. Still, you have to elaborate on everything.

Do you take your phone to the toilet? Then be prepared to give it up or take your wife to the toilet. I mean, this is serious stuff for her, man.

It’s like all her senses get enhanced once she gets married. She can smell anything and everything that’s different about you. She knows the perfume you use. She knows all your grooming protocols. There’s no escape.

She hugs you not just to show her affection, but also to smell you frequently. Women know when you smell suspicious. So, beware and be aware.

Finally, be ready to tell her what you are thinking at any time. Now, this is the only superpower she doesn’t have. She cannot ascertain what you are thinking about. Thankfully, she can not read your mind. But be prepared to face her question missiles.

2. The love evaluations

You will be evaluated periodically in various ways. You better pass the tests.

It’s just like your workplace, literally. And you know who your boss is?

Know the number of times you kiss her or cuddle with her in a day. Believe it or not, she counts them. The numbers can go up, but not nose-dive. You will be questioned and scrutinized.

The same goes for sex as well. Here everything counts. You have got to be very consistent and mindful of everything that happens in the bedroom. Even minor changes in your usual ways will be judged and interrogated. I am not going to get into details here. I’ll leave it to you to watch and learn.

She has special powers as a wife. She is a superhuman now.

Your love for her will be assessed in all the following ways:

1. the way you touch her.
2. the way you kiss her.
3. the way you look at her.
4. the gifts you buy her.
5. the way you compliment her looks.
6. the way you treat her family and friends.
7. the list goes on.

Even nanoscale changes in all the above will lead to a few sessions of a criminal investigation.

3. The megalodon memory

You will be astounded at her ability to recall events from the past. She can even remember the exact day, date, and time of something that happened a few weeks or months ago.

Now, we men suck at this. We can’t remember most of the things that we did the day before. Am I right?

Forget an important day, you are doomed for a day or two.

Your Google calendar is your friend here. Trust me, stop being lazy and put all that’s important to her and her family on the calendar and mark it to remind you forever. Also, ensure you get a reminder a week before if any gifts have to be purchased. It helps big time.

4. Doubts, doubts, and more doubts

Her doubts are because she is jealous that she may lose you to someone else.

It’s not bad at all, but she may develop OCD in doubting you.

We men usually have no clue what’s going on. Why all these doubts? Well, it comes with the wedding package. There’s no escape. You could be a man from any of the 7 continents. Trust me, there’s no escape.

5. The queen of drama

Now, this one is something that men have absolutely no way of tackling or understanding.

She becomes more emotional than when she was your girlfriend. While we know women are more emotional than men, most men still stand helpless, in front of an emotional wife, trying to understand the whole situation.

Not all women are like this, but most are. Trust me on this.

Make sure you have a nice couch that you can sleep on days when she estranges you. I wonder how men spent such days in the past. Now that we have our phones, it comes in handy.

Behind every angry wife, there’s a husband who has no clue what’s going on.

We are made this way, and women are made that way. See what I mean?

6. How can you be a good husband?

Being a man who understands her needs, desires, and expectations are easier said than done. Women and men are two incompatible beings, to be honest. The way we perceive life, although it might appear not so different on the surface, is totally different from how women see life.

Somehow, we fall in love and find ways to adapt to each other and try to spend this life together.

But still, you can be a good husband to her:

1. By being there for her when she is emotionally vulnerable.
2. By being honest and truthful at all times.
3. By making her feel strong and confident.
4. By supporting and respecting her decisions.
5. By keeping your male ego at bay at all times.
6. By giving her more than a few reasons to spend her life with you.

...........................

I am a Vocal Media Ambassador. Click here to enroll in the Vocal Fiction Awards. Write and submit as many fiction stories as you can until Dec 30.

25 winners. $125,000 in prizes. Free subscription to Vocal+. It’s my Vocal referral link. If you enroll using the above link, I will get a commission from the Vocal team to support my writing. Thank you.

Thank you for reading. Click here to become a Medium member and have full access to all articles on Medium and to all my articles. It’s only $5 per month for 1000s of great articles. In doing so, I will get a small part of your monthly fee to support my writing at no additional cost to you.

..................