There Is Not a Single Doubt Whether, She Is the Glue

There are many things that make my mom a boss. She is loving, kind, generous, strong, courageous, steadfast, etc. She’s been through so much and has overcome. My mom not only lost her brother, when he was just nineteen, but she also lost my brother Justin when he was nine. Her mother also passed away from breast cancer, and she, herself had stage four colon cancer and had to go through surgery, chemo, and living in fear that it might return. Life hasn’t been anywhere near easy for her, but she still pushes on. I admire my mother for these things and for many others; however, something that I’ve always admired about her, that I’ve never mentioned to her before, is her hospitality.

I often say that my mother is “the glue” of our family. She is the one that coordinates and brings everyone together. Without her, we’d probably go a couple months without everyone seeing each other. She always goes above and beyond. When it’s someone’s birthday, she asks them what cake they want and what they want for their birthday meal and she makes them. She puts such care into making them that you can (and I know it’s impossible) taste the love. It is a magical experience. She always makes sure that everyone has food before fixing her own plate and makes sure that everyone has a drink as well. She will even make chocolate-chip cookie dough in advance and freeze it, that way it’ll be ready to go for when everyone comes over. This hospitality doesn’t just extend to family though, but to friends as well. My mom welcomes everyone into our home and treats them like they’re one of her own. In fact, there have been numerous instances when she has referred to my friends as “son” or “daughter.” She has such a giving spirit that it just pours out of her. When my friends come over, they always tell me that she is so sweet, adorable, kind, that she spoils them, etc. When new friends first meet her, she puts them at ease and makes them feel right at home. She’s such a great mom that, when I have friends over, I usually don’t mind if she hangs out with us because we all love her. And like mother, like daughter, I too have this hospitable nature.

Over the years, I have watched my mom’s hospitality in action, and have subconsciously been taking notes. Just like her, I enjoy making people feel welcome and at home. I never want them to feel awkward or out of place. There have been a few times, when I’ve had friends over, where I’ve caught myself doing the things my mom would do. One time, when I was at a party at my friend’s apartment, I started getting food and drinks for people and making sure everyone was taken care of and my friend said: “wow, you’re a better hostess than I am, and this is my apartment and my party.” It’s in my blood.

My mother has shaped me in many ways, but I have to say that her hospitality is one of my favorite ways in which she’s shaped me. Being hospitable is not just kindness, it is love and warmth and generosity too. It has taught me to put others first and that there is beauty in making others feel safe and wanted. My mom has many admirable traits, but her hospitality just shines through. I am so blessed to call her my mom. For years I naively assumed that everyone had the same experience, that they had great moms too, but while I was in college, I was telling some new friends about her and they couldn’t relate. One of them hadn’t talked to their mom in months because they didn’t get along and the other didn’t even know who their mom was. This blew my mind and made me appreciate my mom more than I already did. She is incredible and I wish that everyone could have a mom like her, but if they don’t, my mom’s door is always open!

Below is a poem I wrote for my mom when I was in college.

You are the Glue

You are the glue that holds us together,

staying by our sides; braving all weather.

In sickness, you soothe our brows with sweet care,

tend to our needs, send up urgent prayers,

all the while, your voice, light as a feather.

In health, you bestow us all white heather,

blessings and luck to remain untethered,

and fix enough food for us all to share.

You are the glue.

Making sure that we are altogether,

full of happiness and joy in jether,

yes, making sure that we are not ensnared

by the trials of this life, despair!

No, there is not a single doubt whether,

You are the glue.