There are five ways to express love

There are five ways to express love

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This brings me to parent-child relationship. Nowadays, many parents lament that they wholeheartedly "serve" their children and give their hearts and souls to them, but they end up raising a "wolf" and their children do not appreciate them at all.

However, when we complain that our children do not understand the love of their parents, we may ask ourselves whether we show love to our children in our daily life? Have we taught our children to show love to others?

A good parent-child relationship is born from the expression of love.

The love in a child's heart is like a treasure chest; if you don't find a way to fill it up, it is impossible for him to give love to others because he has no love himself.

If we give a lot to our children but do not express it correctly, it is like not putting love into the child's treasure box accurately, and giving without response becomes inevitable.

Just like in the film, Paddington's treasure chest is full, full of water is overflowing, he has enough love to give more people. This all comes from Aunt Lucy risked her life to save Paddington from the raging river, pouring all her love and hope to raise him.

However, many times parents don't know how to communicate love in a language that their children can understand. We think we show our love by buying our children all kinds of toys; but this child cares more: "Is there anyone to play with me?" ? We and our children understand different meanings for the expression of love.

In his book, The Five Languages of Love, psychologist Dr. Gary Chapman lists the five languages of love in children's hearts. I'd like to share them with you today in the hope that they will inspire you.

Words of affirmation

In a child's mind, words of affirmation imply a sense of being seen and known. For example, words of praise and encouragement such as I love you, making progress, and it's nice to see that you care about others are simple and sincere, yet they can make them feel loved.

Deliberate Moments

What is a "careful moment"? It's when we give our full attention to our child and spend time with him or her doing something he or she enjoys. In these moments, the child feels that he or she is completely alone with the parents and that he or she is truly loved. Careful moments are also a child's favorite way to spend time.

So, as busy as parents are every day, they should take some time to be with them and try to create some more elaborate moments. Sometimes even just a few minutes completely devoted to the child will be enough. For example, video chatting with your child for a few minutes, having a meal with him, playing sports with him, or watching a movie

Receiving gifts

Gifts are visual symbols of love. Especially those gifts that have been carefully prepared and given a specific meaning. If a gift is given for a holiday or a child's birthday, he will have a sense of presence that he is valued and cared for.

Gifts don't have to be expensive, just heartfelt to express your love for your child. A birthday cake, a colored pen, a plush toy these can surprise and love him.

Acts of service

An "act of service" is something you do for your child that may not require a lot of effort on your part, but rather an understanding of what he wants you to do for him.

Of course, the action of service should also be changed according to the age of the child, to master the scale.

For example, when your child is young, you can help him take a bath, cover him up, help him carry toys from high places, and complete crafts with him they will feel supported and cared for. As they get older, there is no need to help our children with what they are capable of doing.

If you end loving service for your child too soon, your child will think you don't love him. We still need to reach out and give our child a hand to pull him or help him when he needs it. Know that it is in the process of loving service to the child that the child learns to give love.

Physical contact

Many studies have shown that children who have regular physical contact are more likely to develop a sound emotional life than those who are left alone and unattended for long periods of time. In particular, children between the ages of 0 and 3 are very thirsty for physical contact.

A kiss on the face, a pat on the shoulder, a hand, a nod to the nose, a touch of the head or a hug, these physical contact can be closer to each other, so that the child feels the warmth of being loved.

Different people will have different feelings, each child has its own way of receiving love, and we as parents can only understand and master their unique love language to better communicate our love.

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As parents, how can you tell which love language your child likes best?

You can observe your child and see how they express love to others. That's a clue to their love language.

If you find that your child always remembers some anniversaries, likes to give gifts to people, and every time he gives a gift, he wraps it carefully and solemnly. Also, he keeps the various gifts he receives very well. It is assumed that his main love language is probably "receiving gifts".

If you find that your child always tries to help others, for example, by volunteering to help his parents with household chores, his primary love language may be "acts of service.

If you find that your child often tells you how good a mother or father you are, how well you do things, or how much he likes it when you compliment him, then his primary love language is "words of affirmation.

If you find that your child likes to have his arms and shoulders close to his parents when he is with them, and likes to be hugged and kissed by them, then his primary love language is "physical contact.

If you find that a child likes to bring his parents into his room to play with him or to share something he loves with them, then his main love language is "elaborate moments".

Rabindranath Tagore said, "The farthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death; it is the distance between me standing in front of you and you not knowing that I love you."

In fact, for love, there are just two things:giving love and receiving love. If we don't feel the flow of love, it's often because we don't match the love language with our children.

Likewise, in everyday interpersonal relationships, if we can interpret each other's love language, we can take better care of each other's relationships, especially applicable to intimate relationships.

Let's learn these five love languages together and let love flow between our hearts!