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The Truth About Me, You, Us

~Ky Navarro~

By Ky NavarroPublished 4 years ago 105 min read
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Chapter One: Clara: Monday…

I’ve never been the type to stand up for myself whenever someone brings me down. I just grew up to letting people do whatever they wanted with me. I just kept quiet the whole time. Like right now.

Aex Laner, who apparently has a thing for bullying me, comes over and yanks my braid, causing me to wince at the pain. I’ve been told that whenever a boy messes with you, he has a thing for you. But that wasn’t the reason at all. Alex just does it for fun to see my reaction.

“Hey Glasses, you ready for P.E.?”

I hate it when he calls me Glasses. It’s not my fault that I need them. I just prefer glasses over contacts. It’s a waste of time to put on contacts anyways.

“What’re you wearing anyways?” Alex points at my sweat pants and my regular plain white tee.

Unlike the other girls, I prefer to not show off everything. It’s stupid and disgusting to think that girls do that for guys’ attention.

“And those?” Alex points at my old worn out converse and laughs. “Get a life Glasses.”

He passes me without a glance back to his friends. Or what friends he has. I just don’t get it. Why am I his number one target? What did I ever do to deserve this? I shrug it off like I always do. What’s the point in even caring anyways.

Coach Lawson blows his whistle that he carries around with him everywhere. I even seen him wear it outside of school. I walk with the others to form a circle around Coah Lawson.

“Today we’re going to simply run.”

“Run? That’s it?” Alex says.

“Did I stutter?” A few laughs come out. Alex shrugs it off. If only he could shrug me off and leave me alone. But that most likely will never happen.

“Now. We’re going to start once the bell rings.”

“Why can’t we actually do a sport thing?” Alex asks.

“Because. You guys all think you’re the best there is. Clearly you aren’t.”

A few of Alex’s friends say “Oh!” while his face turns red. To me, Coach Lawson is my hero. He always has something to say to somebody. Especially Alex. Ever since the beginning of Freshman year started, I was Alex’s target. Nobody noticed but Coach Lawson. He could tell from the way Alex treated me. He actually did something about it, unlike most people. We don’t do as much fun games like Dodge Ball or Volleyball, because Coach Lawson knows I’ll be Alex’s target. I never did thank him, but I do in my head constantly without even knowing it.

The bell rings for class to start. “Start running!” Coach Lawson blows his whistle. We all shuffle around the gym. The guys were showing off by racing. The girls were show off what they had with their tight tops and booty shorts. I don’t even understand the point in that type of clothing. Let alone wear to school. I shuffle behind everybody, concentrating on my “running”.

When I started to shuffle around the curve of the gym, I felt someone push me down, causing me to trip over myself. I raise my arms out, my hands hitting the gym floor before my face does. My glasses fall off, they fly across the gym floor. A burst of laughter erupts.

The only one I could hear was Alex’s. Of course he did this to me. Who else would?

“Get out of my way!” Coach Lawson’s voice booms. “Are you alright Clara?”

I could only nod. I could feel my nose tingle, a sign that tears were about to come out of my control.

“Hand me her glasses.” Nobody moves. “Now!” Coach Lawson’s voice makes me hump.

Finally a girl I believe her name was Nellie goes over to get my glasses. “Here.” A blur of something is handed to me. My glasses. I take them from her and put them on. I don’t look at anybody but the floor.

“Everybody go have free time. Alex? Go to my office.” Everybody goes where they were asked to. Even Alex. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Coach Lawson’s blue eyes burn into mine.

“I am. Thank you.” He gives me his hand, he helps me up. “If you want, you may go to the restroom and wash your face.”

Then did I realize that I was crying.

~

Chapter Two-Nellie-Monday…

I’ll admit it. I’m fake. Everything about me is fake. I be the person I’m not whenever I’m in school. I’m 100% fake. People will tell you that I am. I’m not exactly bothered by it anyways. But the worst thing other than me being fake is that I’m adopted. That has to be the worst thing about me. That’s why I choose to be fake. So nobody will see through me.

It’s better to be known as “The Faker” instead of “The Adopted Kid”.

I never met my real parents. They died, for what I’m told, from a shooting spree. I honestly don’t believe it, but I grew up to hearing that. Martha and John aren’t the worst parents, but they do seem little on edge around me sometimes. It’s like they don’t want me or something. But I could also be wrong.

“How was school?” Martha’s question hits me right when I walk through the door.

“It was fine. Thanks for asking.” When I’m not in school, I go back to the person that I really am. Not fake. Just me. I know I said that the worst part about me is me being adopted. But then again, this home is my escape.

“Pizza’s for dinner. Sound good to you?”

“Sure does. John picking it up?” I place my bag and car keys on the counter. Martha appears out of the kitchen. Her eyes were tired-looking. Her hair was half-up-half-down. She looks like a zombie that just got turned.

“As always.”

“Have you been working all day?” Martha’s slow movements tells me she has. “What have I told you about working so much while I’m gone?” I help her sit on the family couch.

“Oh, I don’t know. I just needed something to do is all.”

I give her my look. She only shrugs it off. “Martha.” She jerks her head up. I don’t know why she does that when I say her name. “Let me at least do some work around here, alright?”

She looks at me. “Oh, alright.”

“Go get yourself some rest. I’ll wake you once John gets home.”

Martha leaves without a word. I sigh to myself. I pick up my stuff off the counter and heads towards my room. The paint smell still lingers whenever John re-painted my room for me. It was once white, but I asked for it to be a sky blue. It actually looks nice with what I’ve got in my room. There’s a light brown four drawer dresser to my left. My white bean bag beside it. My bed sits to my right near the door. My closet is at the corner on my right, holding what I can afford. I lay my car keys next to the picture of Jeffrey on my dresser.

I never met Jeffrey. John told me he died at eleven. Martha got too choked up from tears to tell me, so John did. I honestly feel bad for them, because that was their only child. They decided that they wouldn’t have any more kids. But then they thought of adoption: Then here I am. They said they took me in when I was around three or four. They told me that I could never take Jeffrey’s place, but they’ll always love me as their own. And I understand that, I really do.

I smile at the picture before sprawling on my bed. Soon as I did, John came home. The smell of pizza came all the way to my room. My stomach growls. I force myself off my comfy bed.

“Martha?” I knock on her door. A lump of a body was underneath her sheets. I walk to her bed. “Martha?” I poke her. The lump moves., groaning. “You awake?”

“I am now.”

I hold back a smile. I just love messing with her. “John’s home with the pizza.”

She rubs her eyes. “I’ll be down in a minute.” She rolls back over. I leave her room for the kitchen where the amazing smell of pizza was.

“What’d you get?” I ask once I’m in the kitchen.

“The usual. My pepperoni, Martha’s cheese. And your supreme.”

“Thanks.” I get myself a plate, and stack it with pizza.

“Hold on, hold on! You going to eat all that?”

I look down at my place. Seven or eight pieces were stacked up on each other. I look back at him. “Let your stomach speak, not your mind.” John taught me that one as I was growing up, because I used to eat loads of food. That’s why I’m kind of on the chubby side.

John grins at what I had said. “Okay Pizza Face.” I give him my shocked-hurt look, then laugh with him. “Is Martha coming?”

“She said she was.” I eat my pizza while John makes himself and Martha a plate. Martha comes shuffling in, looking more like a zombie then she did before.

“Oh, thank you Dear.” She accepts her plate and sits next to me. By the time she did, my plate was empty.

~

Chapter Three-Braxton-Monday…

As soon as I drop Lani off at her house with a kiss goodbye, I drive to my older brother’s house. I’ve been needing a break from Lani. She’s just been too all over me lately. That girl just doesn’t understand space in her world. I pull up into Kyle’s driveway next to his truck.

“Hey.” Kyle says once he opens the door to my knocks.

“Yo.” He lets me in, giving another a one-arm hug like we always did since we were little.

“Why’d you want to visit all of a sudden?” Kyle and I crash onto his couch.

“To get away Man.”

Kyle grins. “From what, exactly?”

I sigh. “From everything. Like you did.” I know bringing up Kyle’s past is a bad subject, but I just need a break from everything at the moment.

Kyle looks at me for a moment, then shakes his head. “You don’t want to go down the way I did.” He looks over at me.

“But I need a new change Man. A new life. A new plan. I’m tired of the same-old, same-old.” I break our gaze to look down at my hands, where they were slightly shaking. This happens whenever I’m getting serious about something.

“Brax, you don’t need this. Aunt Liv and Unlce Ry don’t need this.”

I look everywhere but at him.

“Just go on what you’re doing. You’re going to graduate soon anyways. You’ll get your freedom then.”

“Freedom? I have that already. I’m eighteen Kyle.”

Kyle sighs, running his fingers through his hair, a sign that he’s frustrated. Frustrated at me. “Look Brax. You just need to focus on what you’ve got now. Your life is all planned out for you. You just don’t see that yet.”

Coming here was just another mistake I have made. I regret coming. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. “Okay.” I get up off the couch. “I’ll catch you later whenever I can.”

Kyle only gives me a small smile before I leave.

I rest my head on the steering wheel once I’m inside my car. Why is my life so messed up? I start my car with no answer. An answer that will probably never come. I choose a station on the radio as I drive back home. I finally decide on some sort of pop station. I sing along to the words that I do know.

“Hey Brax. How was your day?” Aunt Liv asks me once I’m inside the house. Aunt Liv was wearing her cooking apron. Flour was all over it. I wonder what she’s cooking tonight. The meals she’s made before goes through my head. My mouth was watering.

“Brax?”

Aunt Liv’s voice snaps me out of my food daze. “Oh, uh, it was fine. Dropped Lani off after school.” Honestly glad that she didn’t want me to stay over.

“How’s she doing?”

“Same as always.” A stuck up, spoiled teenager. But of course I could never tell Aunt Liv that. Because one: She wouldn’t believe me. And two: She loves Lani as much as I used to. I used to love being around her when high school first started. But as the years slowly went by, she became someone I don’t even know anymore. I would tell her it’s over. But then again she’d say some sort of life that never actually happened, and make it seem like I was the bad guy. I’m honestly just waiting for the best time to do it.

“I also went over to Kyle’s.”

Aunt Liv stops whatever she was doing in the kitchen and looks up at me. “And how is he?” I know talking about Kyle around them is a really bad idea, but they just can’t forget about him. Like he never existed. He’s still my brother.

“He’s doing fine. We just had a talk.” Yeah, a talk that I wish would’ve turned out the way I wanted.

“That’s good.” She goes back to cooking. Looks like we’re having soup and rolls. Yum, yum, yum.

Uncle Ry walks in like a ghost, causing me to jump. “Whoa there Buddy. Didn’t mean to scare you there.” My heart was racing. Uncle Ray always has this thing of scaring me everyday. “Hello my Dear.” Uncle Ry goes over and gives Aunt Liv a kiss.

I wish I had something like that. Not a stuck up, spoiled little-.

“So. How was your day?” Uncle Ry’s voice brings me out of my thoughts.

I look at Aunt Liv. She shakes her head once. I understand what she’s meaning. Uncle Ry doesn’t like talking about Kyle, because of his past.

“It was fine.” I finally manage to say.

What a day.

~

Chapter Four-Lani-Monday…

I’m spoiled rotten. And I love it. I just love being the center of attention. Brings me joy. The reason I am this way, is because I grew up with my grandmother, who spoiled me on the day I was born. She still does, even though I’m seventeen, about to be eighteen. I’m one of the most popular girls at my school anyways. So I’ve got nothing to worry about.

Except one thing: Clara Anne Banks.

She is my weakness to everything. She is my flaws. The one thing that slowly brings me down, is her. And I hate it. Hate it with a passion. Everytime I see her face, I know she’s the reason why. If I could end anyone’s life, it’d be hers. But I can’t do that. Too risky for what might happen to me. Don’t want to end up in jail and end my reputation.

“Hey Grandma!” I beam at my grandmother, who was on her rocking chair on the front porch, knitting like she always does.

“Hello Dear.”

I hear Braxton’s car race away from my driveway. Well fine then. You give me a kiss goodbye, then leave like that? How rude. I ignore it. “So. What’s going to happen this afternoon?” I ask, swaying my hips to a song stuck in my head called “Love Your Body”.

“Thought we’d go shopping at that mall you were talking about. Then we could stop for something to eat afterwards.”

I squeal with delight and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Just let me go get ready real quick.”

“But Dear. You already are.”

“Grandma! This is what I wear to school, not out in public.” I roll my eyes at her. Sometimes she can be a real pain. But I love her too much to actually care.

“Okay, okay. Go get ready.”

I skip to my room, a smile on my face. I can not wait to get new clothes. I change my tight-top and tight-skirt into some loose jeans and a half-top with a loose tank-top underneath. I switch my flats to heels. I rebraid my hair, put on more mascara and...Done! Beautiful! I grab a light jacket just in case it gets a little chilly out. You never know what will come and go.

I make my way back to my grandmother, twirling around for her to see me once I open the door.

“You look beautiful Dear, as always.” I give her my best smile, pleased for what I’m hearing. “Let me go get my keys and -.” I hold up her keys that I shoved in my pocket on the way down from my room. My grandmother’s face shows surprise, then softens with a smile. “I should’ve known you were going to do that.” She gets up, grabs her keys that were still dangling in the air, and head for her old convertible.

It may be very old, and the red paint may be chipped, but it’s a very nice car to look at. And to be in the car. Whenever I’m in the convertible, I feel safe. I feel free. I roll down the window, the breeze welcoming me to the world and more.

“We’re here Dear.”

I jerk myself awake from my fantasy to the real world. I sometimes wish I lived in my fantasy. I’d have total control. I’d be the princess. Even better. I’d be the queen. But I can only dream.

We walk into the Bankers Hills Mall. I instantly run to the dresses. I shriek with delight. “Oh Grandma, look at this dress!” I hold up a knee-length black dress with no sleeves.

“Well, go try it on.”

“I’ve got to find other things I like as well.” I drape the dress on the buggy, leaving my grandmother for clothing. I come back to her with an arm full of clothes. My grandmother’s eyes went wide once she saw me.

“You’re going to try all of those on?”

“Of course Grandma.” I roll my eyes at her, knowing she knows this.

“I’ll be here once you’re all done.”

I put the clothing in the buggy and steer my way to the dressing room. A few people gave me weird looks. Oh well. I try on each clothing I picked out. I finally decided on five pairs of jeans, three cute tops, eight skirts, and the black dress I saw once I walked into the mall. I placed the clothing I didn’t want back in their place as I made my way to my grandmother.

“Is that all Dear?” Was it just me, or does she seem relieved to find less clothing than I had before? Hmm. Not sure.

After we pay, my grandmother asks, “Now. How about that new restaurant you told me about?”

“But Grandma, that place is so expensive!” I put on my shocked face, already know what’s coming.

“Anything for you Dear.”

Yes!

~

Chapter Five-Clara-Tuesday…

I walk into the family kitchen feeling tired. The smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes wakes me up a little. “Morning Mom.” I go over and kiss my mom’s cheek.

She returns it. “Morning Beautiful.”

I give her a small smile before sitting at the family table. “Is Dad awake?” I ask through a yawn.

“He’ll be down in a minute. He’s getting ready for work.”

“Again?” I whine.

My mom looks over at me as she stirs the eggs. “I know Honey. I don’t like it either, but he has to.”

“This is the third time this week though.”

“I know Honey.” She goes back to the eggs. I just hate it when my dad has to work from morning to noon. I barely even get to spend time with him. We don’t even have family time anymore now that he works more often. Makes me feel down whenever this happens.

I was halfway through my breakfast when my dad walks in dressed in this formal tux. He’s a lawyer, so he has to dress all formal-like. I’d prefer just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Suits me well.

“Hey Kiddo.” My dad comes over and kisses the top of my head like he always does.

“Hey Dad.”

He goes over and kisses my mom. How I wish I had something like they do. It’d probably make me more happy than I already am. But I’m not sure if I’ll ever have that. Not now. Probably never. I look up at my parents, who were talking about what they should make for dinner tonight. I smile. They’re all I need anyways.

“I’m going to go get ready for school.” I say while putting my dishes in the sink.

“Okay Honey.”

I go upstairs to my room feeling more awake than tired. My clothes were already out, folded neatly up on my dresser. I take my comfy pajamas off, shrug into a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt with a quote saying: “Life’s too short to miss out on.”

I brush my hair, combing it afterwards so that all the knots were out. My hair comes down to my waist. I have never cut my hair except for my bangs when I was little. Now my bangs are as long as the rest of my hair. I take out a fake bobby-pins, pin some of my hair back so that I can actually see my face, and I smile.

My parents are, in a way, right. I do look beautiful. Then I sigh. If only I could be more like all these other girls. I leave my mirror for my old converse. They’ve become so worn out that I have taken a black sharpie to it, and doodle quotes all over them. I think it looks cool like that. I grab my car keys off my nightstand.

“You all ready Kiddo?” My dad’s voice asks.

I follow his voice to the family living room. “Yeah. I’m all ready.”

My dad gives me another kiss on the head. “Have a good day at school Kiddo.”

“Where’s Mom?” I strain to listen for any movement in the family kitchen, where my mom’s always at.

“In the shower.”

Oh, I knew that. “Tell her I love her, that I’ll see her after school.”

“Will do Kiddo.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

I close the front door behind me, head towards my old pick-up Dodge Ram that has blue chipped paint. This truck is honestly the best thing my parents could’ve ever given me. It may be old, but it still runs perfectly fine. As I drive down the road towards my school I turn on the radio. Music blasts through the speakers. I sing along.

Singing has been a part of my life since before I was born. My family has a history of music. It passed down on my dad’s side. He can sing like, who’s that guy?...Well. He sings like that guy from the band Aerosmith. He’s got a pretty nice voice. I’m guessing it came down on me, because ever since I was little, I was singing non-stop.

I park my truck in the school parking lot. Great. Alex was at the school’s front steps. I look at myself in the mirror. My hair looks fine. I take off my glasses. I could barely even see what I looked like without them. I slip them back on.

“Hey there Glasses.” Alex’s voice overpowers everyone else’s around me. “Are you done crying?” I keep ignoring him. “Hey! I’m talking to you!” I could feel him next to me as I walked. “You better be glad that Coach Lawson was there. But next time? You’re dead.” He walks away with a grin.

I hold back tears from the words he said.

~

Chapter Six-Nellie-Tuesday…

“What’s it like to be popular?” I spin around to find a girl with black hair and glasses.

“Excuse me?” I can’t believe she’s here. How did she find me? Nobody knows about this room but me. I’m guessing I was wrong about that.

“I asked, what it’s like to be popular?”

I look around the band room, nobody around or in sight but the two of us. “Why do you want to know anyways?” I cross my arms at her.

“Because…” She looks away, her cheeks red.

“Wait...Aren’t you Clara Banks?”

At the sound of her name, her head jerks up. “I...Yeah…”

I knew something about her seemed familiar. “Your hair looks nice like that.” I say, chewing on my lip.

“Oh...Uh...Thank you.” She’s shy. Very shy.

“Did you follow me here?”

Clara’s eyes widen. “In a way. I was actually headed this way myself. Then I saw you heading the same way.”

Oh. “So. You play, or?”

“I play piano. And I sing.”

It’s hard to believe that someone like her, who’s the most geekiest girl in this school, is talking to me, the most fakest girl in this school Maybe she doesn’t know that. Does she?

“You’re the one who got my glasses yesterday. I thank you for that.”

I jerk back. Shocked. Nobody has ever spoken to me that way except for Martha and John. “You’re welcome.” I shift my eyes away from her.

“Are you going to answer my question?” Clara stares at me.

She wants to know what it’s like to be popular. It’s not all that great. But her eyes want a different answer. “It’s okay. Lots of attention.”

Her shoulders lift up like that answer made her day. “Really?”

“Yeah.” It is the truth. I don’t quite like it, but I’m guessing she’d rather would want that over being a geek any day. I wouldn’t blame her. The bell rings. Clara leaves in a flash, leaving me to the empty band room. I sigh. I sure hope she doesn’t go over her head for what I’ve told her. I leave the band room and head for class.

“OMG Nellie, you won’t believe what Alex did.”

“Alex Laner?” I roll my eyes at the mention of his name.

“Who else?”

“What’d he do?”

“You know that loser Clara?”

I was about to defend her, but I bite my tongue to hold it back. “Yeah?”

“He just grabbed a fist full of her hair and-.”

I run to the main hall. There was Alex. And Clara. A handful of her hair was in Alex’s fist. She was wincing in pain from him yanking her hair.

“Let her go!” I yell.

Alex looks over at me. He grins. “Then what?”

I ball my own fist up, ready to punch his face in.

“What’s a little hit going to do to me?” He laughs. “You see Glasses? Nobody’s going to stop me from hurting you.” He says to Clara.

A crowd of people were starting to gather. My blood was boiling. Ever since high school started, I was afraid Alex was going to pick me as his victim. I was wrong. I throw my stuff down, rage overpowering me. I make my way to Alex, fists ready. Clara’s eyes warn me to stop. A part of me wants to, but I don’t. When I’m only a few inches away from them, I bring my fist towards Alex.

But instead of hitting him, a hand stops my fist. At first I thought it was Alex.

But no.

It was Clara.

She stopped me. Stopped me from hurting her only bully. But...Why?

Alex looks at Clara, his mouth opened wide. I also look at her. Her eyes were calm.

“Clara-.”

“I said no.”

She’s right. Her eyes did tell me no. But of course I didn’t listen. She lets my balled-up fist go. It goes limp at my side. She then glares at Alex.

Alex closes his mouth. “This isn’t over.” He walks away without another word.

The crowd of people were in awe. The most geekiest girl stopped a moving fist. I’d be in awe too. My question is: Why would she stop me from hurting the one that hurts her everyday? Before I could ask her, she leaves. The warning bell goes off. Everybody drifts off to their class. Their faces still in awe. I grab my stuff and head to class.

~

Chapter Seven-Braxton-Tuesday…

I’ve never seen anything like that before. Clara Banks. Who knew? I was so shocked when she stopped Nellie’s fist coming to Alex’s face, that my mouth also dropped. I never knew she had that kind of strength in her. Nobody ever even thought of it. Until now.

It’s hard concentrating in History. I keep replaying what happened. Alex was tormenting Clara. Nellie comes in to fight. Clara ends it all. What Clara did was history. She stood up to what she thought was right.

The bell rings for lunch. I walk with the rest of the crowd. Then I see her. Her long black hair. Her nerdy glasses. The way her hips sway as she walks. She’s kind of hot. She walks into the cafeteria, making me lose sight of her.

“Hey Babe.” Lani puts her arm around mine, telling other girls to back off. But yet I should be the one to tell all those guys to back off that she lets touch her. But I could never speak up to her. She’d only deny it.

“Hey.”

“Did you hear what happened? With Clara?”

Of course. She’s the most dramatic gossip-talk girl I’ve ever met. “Yeah.”

“I have to say, never knew she had strength in those arms.”

“Yeah.” I take a tray of food. Lani gets nothing. We sit with Lani’s group today. They gossip about Clara.

“She’s so small though.”

“She couldn’t have been that strong.”

On and on and on.

I eat my food in silence. Then I see her. She was sitting by herself at the far corner. Her lunch untouched and in front of her. A book in hand. Ever since high school started, she’d always read some new book everyday. It’s actually kind of cute.

“Babe, are you listening to me?”

Oh crap. Lani was talking to me. “What was that Baby?” Lani only smiles. I’m guessing adding baby into that worked.

“I said: Did you think Clara would have a chance hanging with us.”

Oh, please do. Then her and I could actually talk. Get to know another. “Sure. That’d be cool.”

Lani shrieks and claps her hands. “I just have to make a good approach, you know? Don’t want to be in a mood.” I could only stare. Lani always wants to be perfect when inviting someone new to her group. That’s how she has so many “populars”. Oh geez. She fixes her already fixed hair. Puts on more lipstick, which tastes like awful watermelon. Brushes off her clothing. “Do I look okay?” The girls agree. She looks at me.

“As always.”

“I’m going to try my best.” I watch her walk over to Clara, who was still reading. Clara gives her a smile as Lani sits in front of her. They talk. Clara seemed to enjoy the company. I would too if I was a loner.

“Are you and Lani going to the Winter dance together?” The question catches me off guard.

“What you mean?” Dang. That was the worst response.

“The Winter Dance? You and Lani? Like every year?”

“Well, uh…” I was actually planning on breaking up with her before the Winter dance. I’m really getting tired of Lani bossing me around like I’ve got no life to live. It’s just not right for what she’s doing to me.

Lani comes back to her seat beside me before I could respond to the question. “Good news: She’s decided to be a part of our group.” The girls giggle and smile. “But the bad news: She doesn’t quite want to change her style.”

I look over at Clara, who was now eating her lunch. She had on a pair of old-looking jeans and white t-shirt with writing on it. Simple. I liked it. “Maybe you could try to take her shopping to find what she likes, you know?” I blurt out. I can’t believe I just said that. I’m becoming more of a girl in this group than a man.

“Good idea Babe!” Lani goes back over to Clara.

“So. Are you two going?” Of course the girls want to know if Lani and I are going to the Winter dance this year. If I said no, they’d go all over me to go with them. But if I said yes, they’ll all act like it’s no big deal and her and I would be the best couple there.

I only shrug. “We’ll see.” I know that that’ll leave them on the edge of wanting to know the answer.

“She said yes!” Lani smiles.

“That’s great.”

“I know! But will you come along? Pretty please?”

To get closer to Clara? Any day. “Sure.”

~

Chapter Eight-Lani-Tuesday…

“I think this would look great on you! What do you think Babe?” I hold up a pink t-shirt with blue flowers deatling from the bottom to the top.

“It looks fine.”

I give Clara my best smile. She smiles back. She hasn’t said a word since we arrived at the mall. Maybe she’s never done this before? It seems most likely she hasn’t. “Here Clara.” I hand her the clothes I thought would look okay on her.

“Thank you.”

Hearing her voice startled me for a moment. Clara goes to the dressing room. Braxton watches her the whole way, a small smile on his face. Hmm.

“She’s pretty, isn’t she?” I say in an innocent tone.

“She sure is.”

I give him a look.

“I mean, yeah, sure.”

I wrap my arms around his neck. “But you know I’m prettier.”

Braxton’s expression went from amazed to confused. “What’re you getting at Lani?”

I pull him close to me. So close we were only inches apart. “I can see the way you look at her.” I whisper.

Braxton rolls his eyes, pushes me away from him. “I’m really getting tired of you.”

I grin. “But yet? You can’t get enough of me.” I bat my eyes at him.

Braxton scoffs and walks away to the front entrance. Whatever. He’ll come around like he always does. I turn to find Clara behind me, clutching the clothes she seems to want. “Is that what you want?”

She nods.

I take them from her. As we pay for her clothes, I ask, “Braxton’s a really nice guy.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“He’s really sweet. Always knows when to make my day.”

“That’s good.”

Why can’t I get anything out of her? She’s like glass. I can’t go deep enough without getting cut. I keep trying. “Do you like him?”

“As a friend, yes.”

Ugh! This girl shows no emotion! “Would you ever like him more than that?” I watch her as she ponders over this.

“No, I wouldn’t. He’s with you. Even if you two weren’t, I still wouldn’t.”

She must be lying. Almost every girl wants to be with him. But no sign shows that she’s lying. Well. I was at least hoping to get something out of her like I did Braxton. I’ll get something out of her sometime.

“Where’s Braxton?” Clara asks once we’re outside.

I look up. My car was there. Braxton’s was not. I roll my eyes. He’s so childish. “Had to go home.”

“For what?”

Man, she’s so curious. “I’m not sure. He was in a hurry though.” There. That shut her up. “Would you like to come over to my house for a bit?” I ask.

Clara looks over at me as I drive. I look back and give her a smile.

“If you want me to.”

“Of course I do.”

We pull up into my driveway.

“Isn’t that Braxton’s car?” Clara’s voice jerks me to look.

My grandmother’s convertible was on the far right. Braxton’s car beside it. How could I have not noticed it?

“I’ll leave my stuff in your car.”

“Why?”

“When I leave I can just take it without forgetting.”

Oh. Yeah. That’s right. “Grandma!” I yell once we’re inside my house.

“In here Dear.”

I lead Clara to the kitchen where my grandmother was. And Braxton. I cross my arms, rolling my eyes at him. He seems mad. Whatever. He’ll get over himself.

“Hello. I’m Clara.” Clara introduces herself herself.

My grandmother smiles at her. “Hello Dear. I’m Cindy Jordan.”

Hearing her call someone else Dear hurts. Braxton’s expression softens once he sees Clara. Why can’t I get that kind of look from him? I scream inside from rage.

“So. Clara. Why don’t you tell us about yourself?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“What would you like to know?”

That was so not what I expected to hear from her.

“Well...Uh...I live with my parents.”

“You an only child Dear?” My grandmother asks.

“I...Uh…” Clara clears her throat.

She seems a little on edge. I wonder why.

“Well are you?” I blurt.

Braxton gives me a look. I shrug back at him.

“Yea, I-I am.” Clara stutters.

Hmmm. She doesn’t seem too sure on that. I was about to push the subject when my grandmother claps her hands, startling me.

“It’s getting late. Lani Dear? Would you drive Clara home?”

“What? Why me?”

My grandmother gives me a hard stare.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. I could walk. I don’t live that far from here.” Clara speaks up, making the hard stare from my grandmother stop.

“I’ll take you.” Braxton says to Clara.

He angers me so much.

~

Chapter Nine-Clara-Wednesday…

The alarm clock shrills me awake. I press the snooze button, cuddling up closer to my fluffy pillow. I was about to doze off into sleep, when my alarm shrills five minutes later. I groan, rolling over to put my pillow over my head, to not hear the shrilling anymore.

But, of course, my mom comes in my room, knocking before she does. “Honey, you awake?” She turns off my alarm. Finally. “Honey?”

I groan in response.

“Are you feeling okay?” She moves my pillow, light blinds my eyes.

“Did you open the blinds?” I mumble.

“I did. Thought you’d awake from it. Guess I was wrong.” She laughs, making me smile a little. “Come here.”

I sit up for her to feel my head. Her hand was cold against my warm forehead. “Are you coming down with something?”

I fake cough, putting on a smile to reassure her that I’m okay.

She laughs, shaking her head. “So I’m guessing that you are okay.”

“Oh no. The light. It’s killing me.” We laugh at my silliness. Hearing her laugh is the best sound to hear.

“Hey Kiddo.” The sound of my dad’s voice makes me smile.

“You’re home? I thought you had to work.”

“Not today Kiddo.”

Finally. A day where we can finally have family time.

“You’ve gotta get ready for school. I’ll make breakfast.”

“And then maybe I could drive you to school Kiddo?”

“Sure. That’d be nice.”

My parents leave my room, closing it behind them to give me some privacy. I put on my clothes that were already waiting for me folded on my dresser. I quickly take off my comfy pajamas to my new pair of jeans and my new t-shirt that Lani helped picked out for me. I haven’t been shopping in what seems like forever. I put my hair up in a high ponytail. My long curls framing out my face. I honestly feel like my glasses ruin my beauty. I would take them off, but I can barely even see anything but a bunch of blur everywhere that I look.

I open the drawer to my desk. Letters that I have received from family are neatly folded into two separate stacks. I reach in the far right corner. I take out a pack of contacts. I’ve never used them before. I haven’t even opened the pack yet. I don’t even know why I bought them in the first place.

I shove them back into the corner, disgusted for ever thinking that I’d put them on. It’s probably never going to make a difference anyway. I close the drawer hard, making the whole desk shake. I grab my phone, my bag, and my shoes. I slip on some socks before going downstairs.

“Hey Kiddo. You’re just in time for breakfast.”

“Great.” I take my seat in front of my dad, who was reading the newspapers.

“Here you go Honey.” My mom sets down a plate of chocolate pancakes in front of me.

“Thank you.” I pour some syrup on each pancake. I don’t know about anybody else, but I literally wolfed down those chocolate pancakes. My mom, to my opinion, makes the best pancakes.

“You ready?” My dad asks as I put my dishes in the sink.

“Sure am.” I kiss my mom’s cheek goodbye.

“Have a good day Honey.”

“You too Mom.”

My dad and I ride in his Lexus. I roll down the window as we head on down the road.

“How’s school going?”

“It’s going. Can’t wait to graduate. Finally get to have a break from education for a while until I get ready for college.”

My dad nods. “You still thinking of going to that University in New York you told me about?”

“Pretty sure, yeah.”

We ride the rest of the way in silence.

“Have a good day Kiddo.” My dad says once we pull up into my school’s parking lot.

“I’ll try.”

“Love you Kiddo.”

“Love you too.” I shut the passenger door behind me. My dad drives off with a honk. I laugh to myself.

“Well, well. What do we have here?” I turn around to find Alex behind me, eyes narrowed at me. “Glasses need a ride here to school now?”

I clench my jaw, tired of this. Tired of him. “What do you want Alex?” I spat.

Alex seems startled from my reaction. I wouldn’t blamer him. If I was in his shoes, I’d seemed startled as well. Alex slowly grins. “Trying to put up a fight now, huh?” He laughs softly. “You could’ve done that Freshman year.”

I clench my fists, anger taking over. “I-.” I stop myself. Now’s not the time to say how I truly feel. This can wait for another time.

“You’ll what?” He laughs in my face.

I just walk away.

“Hey Glasses! We’re not done talking!”

I walk faster.

“Clara? Are you alright?” I look up, startled to find Braxton giving me a concerned look back and forth from me to Alex.

~

Chapter Ten-Nellie-Wednesday…

Rumors are spreading around that I made out with Clara Banks on the day when her and I were alone in the band room. First of all, I have no idea who could know that but her and I. And she doesn’t seem like the type to run her mouth unlike all these other people at this school.

So many people have asked me the same question over and over: “Are you lesbian or something?”

Okay. So. First of all: What? I’ve never been the type of person to even look at girls except that they’re all just the freaking same. Total stuck-up snobs. Cough-cough: Lani Jordan. And speaking of her, she’s probably the one who started this rumor. She doesn’t like me. I bet you that I don’t like her as much either. But her little boyfriend of hers that she has, Braxton? That’s the only guy that I have actually made out with, making him my first kiss. Which she’s mad about. Whatever. He only did it for a freaking dare. He doesn’t even talk to me anymore. Let alone look at me whenever I drool over him.

So no: I am not a lesbian. Apparently these people didn’t get the message.

“Hey.” Clara’s voice startles me as I storm off to class.

“Hi.” I slow my pace to her speed. Light and graceful, she walks. Like a deer. “Have you heard what’s going on?”

She sighs. “Yeah. People can be pretty dumb sometimes. Considering we’re s-.” She clamps her mouth shut on the last word, making it hard to understand her fully.

“Considering we’re?” I raise my eyebrow up at her, waiting for a response.

She looks like she wants to run and hide instead of answering me. “Considering we’re uh...Supposed to be just friends.” She says the last part quickly.

“Okay. Makes sense.” I was confused with her answer, but whatever. I’ll figure it out later.

“Are we friends?”

Her question silences me. I guess she got the message, because she started to walk faster ahead of me. I didn’t mean for her to leave the way she did. I just didn’t quite have the answer to her question yet. Especially with the rumor going around. But why should I even care what other people say or think? It’s just a rumor, it’s not like it’s true. I’m guessing it didn’t bother Clara as much as it did me. I sigh to myself as I make my way to my next class.

The warning bell rings once I put my butt in my seat.

“Alright class: Pop quiz!” Mr. Anderson says with a grin, holding what seems to be the pop quiz. Half of class groans. Usually I’d be excited for it, but not today. Today I’m just not in the mood for anything or anybody. Mr. Anderson passes out the pop quiz. History goes through my head. So many wars. I try to remember what the main ones were, but it’s like all my education deflated out of my brain.

“Times up!”

I had only two questions answered. Six left. Ugh. What is wrong with me today?

“Read chapter eighteen, then answer the questions that go along with it. For extra credit, do the vocabulary.” Mr. Anderson says as he goes around the room collecting papers.

I reach for my textbook underneath my desk. I pull out my History notebook and pen. I was halfway through the first chapter when a note was thrown onto my desk. I look up at Mr. Anderson. He didn’t notice a thing. Too much into grading our pop quizzes. I slowly open the note.

There was one word scribbled on the paper. One word that caused my cheeks to burn from anger.

Lesbian.

This is why I freaking keep to myself. This is why I try to just blend in with the crowd, no matter how fake I am. I crumble the note in my hand. Better yet, I got up, ripped the note to shreds with a grin on my face, and happily skipped to my seat. Mr. Anderson gives me a look. Oh well. As long as I got my point across. I’m perfectly fine.

I go back to reading, answer the questions. I finished the last question to the last chapter when the bell rings.

“If you’re not finished, it’s homework.”

I put my notebook in my bag, decided on turning it in tomorrow first thing. As I go to put my textbook back underneath my desk, a girl who’s name I forgot, shoves into me. The textbook slams to the floor. I look at her.

“There’s a thing called excuse me. But wait: I forgot. You don’t know your manners. Hmmm. Tough luck on you.” I grab my textbook, put it back in it’s spot, the girl dumbfounded by my response. Oh well. I grab my bag and leave.

~

Chapter Eleven-Braxton-Wednesday…

As Kyle throws his football at me, I think, Maybe I should ask Clara out. I catch the ball perfectly.

“Nice catch Brax!”

“Nice throw!” I yell back while throwing the ball back to him. He catches it like a pro.

“Break!”

As we sit in the shade, I blurt, “Do you know Clara Banks?’ Crap. Why would I ask that? God I’m so stupid.

“Long black hair? Glasses?”

I look at Kyle. “You know her?”

“Yeah. She’s a pretty cool girl. She plays piano and sings at the Bean cafe every Thursday night at six.”

I gape at him. “How’d you know all that?”

He gives me a stupid look. “Where do I work at again Brax?”

Oh, yeah, right. He works at Bean Cafe, so of course he’d know her if she plays piano and sings there. “Is she good?”

Kyle nods. “She’s really good. Very talented she is.”

“Cool.” Clara. Plays piano. Sings. I could listen to her any day over Lani’s gossiping.

“Why do you ask anyways?”

Oh. Crap. “Uh…”

He looks over at me. Studies me. “You like her, don’t you?”

I can lie. Tell him that I don’t. That her and I just started hanging out. But I can’t do that. This is Kyle. I’m talking to my brother. The one who’s been through everything with me. I sigh. “Yeah, I do.”

Kyle gives me one of those gushy-looking faces.

“Oh shut up.” I shove his shoulder playfully. He does it back harder. Brotherly love.

“But what about Lani?”

At that, I roll my eyes. “I’ve...I just...There’s no spark anymore. Like...I don’t feel anything towards her like I use to...You know?”

Kyle nods.

“Speaking of which, I’ve gotta pick her up from practice.” I push myself off from the soft, mushy ground. I give Kyle my hand to help him up.

“When’re you going to break up with her?”

I groan, rubbing my face. “I don’t know Man. I don’t even know how to. Her and I have been together since Freshman year. It’d be history, bad history, if we break up. Especially since you know how much Lani loves to gossip.”

I can’t believe I’m actually saying all this. All of this has just been bringing me down. It’s good to talk about it to someone.

“I get it. But...Clara: She doesn’t seem like your type. Why all of a sudden is she your next crush?”

I only smile. “She’s different from other girls. She’s not...She’s not Lani, thank the Lord...But she’s her.”

I get a soft look from Kyle.

“Don’t get all gushy on me here Man!”

Kyle laughs. “I’m sorry Brax! That’s just deep to feel for someone in that way.”

Suddenly my phone rings, causing us both to jump. It was Lani.

“Don’t come around to pick me up.” She says instantly when I accept her call.

“How come?” I was completely confused. Before school ended, she wanted me to pick her up. Now that she’s done with practice, she doesn’t want me to. Weird.

“Me and the girls decided to go shopping today.” Her answer came out smooth and quick.

“But I thought we were going to hang out?” I look over at Kyle, who was shaking his head, softly laughing.

“Sorry. Change of plans.”

Now I was starting to seem suspicious. She’s never done this to me before. I could break up with her now. Get it over with already. But no. I can’t. Not over the phone at least. Wait until we’re actually face-to-face.

My response to her came out before I could stop myself: “Whatever.”

She was saying something but I end the call with a bad feeling in my stomach.

“So. I’m guessing you’re not leaving any time soon.” Kyle says to me, still shaking his head.

“She ‘changed her plans’ on me.” I say.

Kyle nods. “I heard. She’s pretty loud.”

I roll my eyes. “Tell me about it.” I lean up against the tree, the bark digging into my shoulder. So what? I’m dealing with enough as it is.

“So. Tomorrow. At Six. Bean Cafe?”

I slowly grin from ear to ear. “As long as you’ll take me.”

Kyle scoffs. “I have other things to do than pick your lazy butt up.” He laughs as he gives me noogie. How I hate the feeling, but it’s all worth it.

“I really should be going though. Don’t want to keep the Aunt and Uncle waiting.” I say, glancing at my watch.

“Alright Brax. Send them my love.”

“As always.”

We side hug, Kyle socking me in my shoulder before I go, making me grin. I hop into my car, feeling pumped up about tomorrow. Clara. Can’t wait to see her perform. Just thinking about her sends a smile on my face.

~

Chapter Twelve-Lani-Wednesday…

“He did not just hang up on me.” I say out loud, holding my phone with such a tight grip, I’m surprised I didn’t break it.

“What was that Baby?”

I jump, startled by Ryan’s voice. “Oh, nothing Babe.” I purr. “Just the wrong call.” I shove my phone deep into my bag. That’s perfectly fine. If he wants to shrug me off with a simple “whatever”, then I’ll definitely shrug him off right here, right now.

“You okay Baby?” Ryan places his hand on the small of my back, pushing me closer to him.

A smile came up on my face. Ryan kisses me slowly. Only wish Braxton would kiss me like he does. Ryan’s are slow. Sexy. Unlike Braxton’s. His are simple. Fast. Not even feeling anything towards me. Maybe I should break up with him. Ryan’s been a great toy to play around with. Besides, I don’t consider this cheating, since Ryan and I aren’t dating. He’s just one of those guys that I only wanted fun with, nothing serious like I do with Braxton.

Ryan takes us to his apartment. He instantly pushes me up against his door once it’s shut, pressing his lips against mine. He slowly moves his hands along my body, making me sigh with pleasure. I know others may think what I’m doing is wrong, but it’s honestly the only thing that keeps me from going insane. All of this? It takes my mind off all the things that have happened in my life that’s done and gone. But yet, it still haunts me to this day. Ryan slips my shirt off, kissing my neck. I slip off his shirt, my fingertips touching his abs, sending a shiver down my spine. A nice kind of shiver. As Ryan continues to kiss me, flashes of Braxton pass into my head. I jerk back from Ryan.

“What’s wrong Baby?” Ryan whispers to me as he places his hands on my waist.

I can’t do this. Not with him. Not with anybody. “I’ve gotta go.” I slip on my shirt that was lying on the floor. Next thing I could’ve known was my pants beside them.

“I thought you told Braxton that it was off between you two.”

God, why did I have to lie like that? Of course I didn’t break up with him. I just stupid at the time. “Look Ryan. We’re always been really close friends, but…” Ryan looks away from me, making me only feel worse. “But that’s all we’ll ever be. Just close friends.”

Ryan looks into my eyes. He was confused. I wouldn’t blame him. I gather my stuff, getting ready to leave. I kiss Ryan goodbye. I leave his apartment, feeling full on guilty for doing what I have just done.

Tears were beginning to sting the corner of my eyes. I have to tell Braxton. I have to. I run to my room, closing my door gently so that my grandmother won’t wake up. I dial his number. Please pick up.

When I thought he’d never answer, his voice finally says, “What Lani?”

He sounds mad. Of course he’d be mad. I ditched him for some other guy. But he doesn’t know that. “Oh Brax...I’m so sorry.” I could feel new tears coming.

“What’re you talking about?”

I have to tell him the truth. I just have to. “All these years Brax...I’ve…” Why am I even crying over this?

“You what?”

“I’ve cheated Brax!” I say, crying.

Braxton was quiet on his end. Did he hang up on me? Again?

“Call me when you actually want me. Not when you’re screwing over with other guys behind my back.”

Now I was furious. I told him the truth. My truth. The only thing that was tearing us apart. And all he does is tell me that. I was about to shot something back to him, but the call went dead. He hung up on me. Twice. In one day. Tears don’t even come. What’s the point anyways? I gather myself together.

Who cares if he hung up on me. I’m Lani Anne Jordan. Does he honestly think that I’ll cry a river for him? He thought so wrong. I turn on my stereo on low. I sing along to the radio. I paint my nails a blood red, feeling independent.

As I look up at my little mirror on my dresser, an idea pops into my head: If I can’t have Braxton, then Braxton will never have Clara. I grin. I’ll make sure of that. One way or another, Clara will be on my side. She’ll understand. A few lies, and she’ll be under my spell in no time.

~

Chapter Thirteen-Clara-Thursday…

The first thing that happens as soon as I walk into the school Lani says, “Clara!”

I jump, clutching my coffee that I thought was going to go everywhere. “Hey Lani.” She loops her arm through mine, leading me down the hallway like I don’t know where to go.

“How’re you?”

“I’m okay. You?” It was kind of weird for Lani to hang out with me like this, considering she’s never done this before. I take a sip of my coffee.

“I’m not doing too well, actually.” She gives me a hurt look.

“How come?”

“Oh. It’s just Braxton.”

Braxton...That name doesn’t quite ring a bell. Wait. “Isn’t he your boyfriend?” I think I got that right. If not, oh well.

“Sadly.” She tightens her grip on my arm, making me wince.

“What happened?” I’m not really the type for drama, but she is making me curious.

“I just think he’s giving up on us.” The way she said the word “us” made me feel really sorry for her.

“What ever made you think that?” I drink my coffee. Lani stops us in the middle of the hall. She looks at me. Her expression soft. But yet there was something behind it. Anger, maybe?

“You.”

Suddenly I was confused. “Me?”

“Yes. I can tell the way he looks at you. Everytime he talks about you.”

I scrunch up my nose at her, making my glasses rise up as I do. “I hope you know that I have no interest in him. Like, none at all.” Which is true. I don’t see him anything else but a friend in my eyes. Lani studies me, her blue eyes more dark than light at the moment.

“Brax seems to think differently towards you though.”

I drink my coffee, trying to find an answer to that. “That’s him. He can feel whatever he wants. But me?” I laugh. “I’ll never give him a chance. Even if he does get down on his knees, I’ll still say no. Trust me.” I laugh again. “I’ll never be with that boy.”

Lani seems to believe me, for she leads me on down the hall. I finish my coffee as the first bell rings. “I’ll see you at lunch Clara.” Lani gives me a side hug before leaving.

That was quite interesting, seemed like she thought I was the bad guy in all her drama. I head towards the locker room to change for P.E.. As soon as I walked in, everybody stops their talking and looks at me. I’ll say this: I’ve always wanted to be the center of attention. But I’ve always kept to myself. To try blending in with the crowd. But not in this case. I change quickly in one of the stalls. I pile my hair up on my head. The usual P.E. everyday. Except on Fridays. That’s when we have Health Day.

I put my clothes in my bag as I open the stall door. Nobody was in the locker room. Thank the Lord. Now I won’t have so many eyes on my every movement. I put my bag in my locker before heading out to the gym.

“Glasses, about time you made it.” Alex says once he sees me.

I should have let Nellie punch him. But no. I’m so much more than letting that happen. I’m surprised after I stopped her, that he just keeps messing with me. When will he ever stop? Probably never.

“Let’s do some laps! Fifteen minutes!” Coach Lawson yells. He blows that whistle of his, and we all start running.

“Hey.” I look to my right.

“Hey Nellie.”

We run at the same speed.

“What you been up to?”

“Nothing really. I got stared at right when I walked in here.”

She laughs, “Yeah, so I heard.”

“You weren’t in there?”

She shakes her head. “I was talking to Coach Lawson about something.”

It’s hard to believe that her and I are actually talking. It’s been years since the last time we’ve actually been around another. But of course she doesn’t know that. She probably doesn’t even remember.

“Wanna hang after class?”

Her question startles me. “If you want me to.”

“Why wouldn’t I be asking then?”

“Just saying.”

Okay. So she has a little bit of attitude. There’s a difference there between us. But eh. I’ll have to deal with it. Besides, hanging out with her might not seem so bad.

“Fifteen minutes are up! Get ready for some Basketball!” Coach Lawson blows his whistle as we all hustle to four different courts. Alex’s on my team.

Ugh. This’ll be “fun”.

~

Chapter Fourteen-Nellie-Thursday…

“This is Clara you guys.” I introduce Clara to my people.

“Hey. Nice to meet all of you.” Clara says, giving off a smile. Everybody seems to like her.

“Yo Nel, did you hear what Lani did?” Jasmine says.

“No. What haven’t I heard about her?” Everybody laughs but Clara. I wonder why.

“I heard she started that rumor.” Jasmine nods between Clara and I. Clara flinches.

“She probably did. But it’s whatever. I heard that Braxton’s leaving her pretty soon.” Then maybe I could have an actual chance instead of a dare.

“Where’d you hear that from?” Clara asks, her eyebrows raised.

“She’s got a mouth Clara. All she knows what to do is start up some kind of drama. She always wants the spotlight on her wherever she goes.” I toss my hair like Lani does, putting on a face. Everybody laughs. Except Clara.

“Are you friends with her?” Jasmine asks Clara.

“Not close. We just bump into each other sometimes and talk. I think she’s mad at me at the moment though.”

“How come?” Geez, Jasmine always needs to know everything.

“She said that Braxton likes me.” At this, Clara rolls her eyes at his name.

My friends were shocked.

“How could you not like him back?!” Kelsie nearly screams.

“He’s, like, the most hottest guy at this school!” Lynn pipes in.

“So?”

“So?!” We all shriek in unison. I’m surprised I did. I hoped nobody noticed.

“He’s like all the other guys. Too stuck-up and too spoiled.”

I have to agree with her on that one. Braxton is kind of stuck-up and spoiled. But not as much as she says he is.

Kelsie nearly dies from what she just said.

Lynn fans herself, saying, “You need to open your eyes Honey. That boy is hotter than the Sun itself.”

“Oh yeah he is.” Jasmine says.

“Besides: What do you have against him anyways?” I ask. I know that’s very personal, but then again, why can’t I know?

“Nothing. It’s just why would you try to get to someone else when you’re already in a relationship, you know? It’s just not right.”

All of us nods, understanding what she means.

“Well. I’d die for him.” Kelsie says.

“Me too Girl.” Lynn says.

“I wouldn’t ‘die for him’, I’d die with him.” Jasmine says.

“Same! But I’d probably die first.” Kelsie says.

We all laugh. I think I saw Clara smile a little.

The bell rings for second period. “See you guys later.” We all part except for me and Clara.

“Nice friends you’ve got.”

“I know, right? Aren’t they just the best?”

“They are.”

I’m guessing she didn’t hear the sarcasm in my voice whatsoever.

“I’ll catch you later Nellie.”

“See you Clara.” I watch Clara turn to the right as I keep moving forward.

When I went to make a turn to the left, somebody slammed into me. I fell to the ground, my books scattering everywhere. My head hits the floor with a loud crack! Ugh. That seriously hurt.

“Whoa! Are you okay?!”

I groan in response. My head hurt so much that I couldn’t even open my eyes. My ears were ringing. A loud, annoying noise. “My head.” I mutter.

Whoever slammed into me puts their hand behind me, resting it on my head. I wince. “You’re not bleeding.”

I sigh in relief. I slowly open my eyes. Big mistake. Braxton Andrews Jr. was staring down at me. His hazel eyes full of concern.

“Brax?...”

He slowly smiles a small smile. “Hey there Nellie.”

He remembers my name. I thought he forgot about me.

“Are you okay?”

I try to sit up, my head hurting like crazy. “I’m...Okay. Thanks.”

He helps me stand up. I about trip as I do so, but he holds me tight so that I don’t. “Where’re you headed?”

“History.”

“Mr. Anderson?”

I nod. I can’t believe this. He gathers my books for me. He’s walking me to class! I’m so excited inside, I’m surprised I’m not jumping up and down over being so close to him. We haven’t been this close since he was dared to make out with me. Nonetheless, it felt great being close to him again.

“I’ll see you around?”

He was asking me this. Me! “Sure. Wherever, whenever.”

“How about at the Bean Cafe tonight? Six?”

Oh.

My.

God.

“Sure.” Braxton leaves me with a smile. I sit in my seat, the second bell rings. Only then did I realize that my head wasn’t hurting when he was close.

~

Chapter Fifteen-Braxton-Thursday…

I ring the doorbell to Nellie’s house. It’s been forever since I’ve been here. Nellie opens the door. Whoa. She was dressed in a skin-tight black dress. Her hair was all curly.

“Bean Cafe you said?” Even her voice. I knock myself out from staring at her.

“Yeah.” I walk her to my car.

“I’m sorry I’m dressed like this. I’ve got to attend a party around eight-thirty.”

No wonder. It’s a good look for her though. “No big deal.” I close the passenger door for her before getting in my car myself. “Would you like some music?” I ask.

Nellie looks over at me. “Sure.”

I turn up the radio. Some Maroon 5 song was on. Nellie sings along as I drive to Bean Cafe. Kyle’s car was already there. I help Nellie out, her hand soft and warm.

“Yo Kyle.”

“Hey Brax. Who’s this?” Kyle nods at Nellie, who was messing with her curls, staring off in space.

I lean towards Kyle. “My first kiss.”

Kyle’s eyes get big. “No way.”

I could only nod.

“I remember when you went crazy over that. You wouldn’t shut up for a week straight.” Kyle grins.

Now Nellie was out of her space-world, giving us a confused look.

“Table for two?” Kyle asks, doing his work. I almost laugh.

“No. A table for twenty.” Nellie says with a grin. Her and her sarcasm. Kyle grins back as we follow him to a table that was near the stage. I almost forgot that Clara was going to be here. I’m guessing Nellie took up the spotlight.

“What to drink?” Kyle holds out a pad. A pen ready to write our order.

“Do you still have the chocolate-caramel coffee?” Nellie ask.

“I thought everybody forgot about that.”

“Not me. It’s still my favorite.”

Kyle writes down our order. I decided on the same thing.

“So. Nellie.”

“Braxton.”

“It’s been a while.”

“Almost four years.”

“Yeah. Long time.”

“Sure has been.”

Silence takes over as we stare at another. I wonder if she’s still a good kisser. My phone starts to ring, breaking off our contact. Guess who was calling? You got it. “Hey, I’m a little busy right now.”

“That’s fine. So am I. I’m on a date.”

“So am I.”

There was silence on her end. “Are you with Clara?”

“Nope. I’m with someone else. Someone that’s not you.” I could hear Nellie trying not to laugh.

“Who’re you with then?”

“Hmm. Don’t think I should say.”

“I’m so done with you.”

“Good. I was already done with you the day we got together.” At that, I hung up on her. Man it feels good to do that! I place my phone back into my pocket. “You can laugh now.”

Nellie bursts out laughing. Kyle comes over with our coffee, giving Nellie a weird look as she continues to laugh.

“Something I said to Lani.”

He raises his eyebrows.

“To answer your question. Yes: We broke up.”

Nellie stops laughing as soon as I said that. Does she feel bad for me or something?

“I’m really sorry to hear that.”

I shrug. “Don’t be. I wanted to.”

Her and I go back into staring into another’s eyes until I hear piano keys start to play. I break our contact. And there she is. Clara. She was wearing a white dress with flowers all over it.

“Go Clara!” Somebody yells from across the room.

“Hello. Tonight I have decided to sing something different. I hope you all didn’t mind, but this song goes out to someone special tonight. She’s here. I hope she enjoys this much as I do. I hope you all doo too. This one’s for you Nellie.”

Nellie jumps up at the mention of her name.

Clara starts to sing:

Our communication is down again

Is down again

Even though it feels like we’ve lost it all

I promise you the love is in the air

Nellie sings along, tears in her eyes. I’ll admit it: Clara plays and sings great.

If I’m falling away, don’t let me go

You’ve got something to say, and I need to know

Don’t let me go, don’t let me go

If I’m falling away, don’t let me go

Nellie cheers Clara on. By the time the song’s over, Nellie’s bawling in tears. I never knew that they were so close.

~

Chapter Sixteen-Lani-Thursday…

I finally broke up with Braxton. Or did he break up with me? More than likely? I broke up with him. But: It actually feels good to be single. Nobody to tell me what to do. Nobody to tell me what’s wrong and what’s right. I’m free. I’m independent.

Except for one thing: Clara. Anne. Banks. She must’ve been the one Braxton is with tonight It has to be. There’s nobody else that he could’ve asked. If it was her, she should already know what’s coming. Maybe I should call her. I have her number. Or maybe I should wait until tomorrow to ask her in person? Hmm. Not sure yet.

“Grandma!” I shriek in frustration.

“What is it Dear?” My grandmother comes walking into the kitchen.

I thrust my finger at the open fridge that I had opened five seconds ago to only find nothing. “Where’s the food?”

“We ate it all Dear.”

I roll my eyes. “Clearly I can see this. But I thought you got paid?”

My grandmother’s eyes lower from mine.

My heart stops.

The fridge closes without me realizing that I let the fridge door go. “Please tell me you didn’t quit.” I say nearly above a whisper.

My grandmother sighs, sitting at the table, sadness in her eyes. “I had to Dear.”

“But why?!”

“I’m getting older. I can’t do as much as I use to.”

I ball my fists up, hot tears forcing their way out of my control. Why does all the bad things always have to come back and run everything?! “I’ll get a job.” I blurt.

My grandmother looks at me.

“I have to Grandma. We need money.” I grab my car keys and a hoodie.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Mom would have wanted me to.” Bringing up my mom is very hard. Especially for all these years that I had to cope with. My grandmother’s eyes tear up.

“You’re right.”

I leave without another word. I drive around town, looking for any signs that any of these places are hiring. So far, not so good. I park on the side of the street. I rest my head on the steering wheel. I bang my head softly, but I only hit the horn, making it blare once.

And there it was: A sign.

I run up towards a small building that was named Dress Me Up. I open the door, a bell going off that a visitor was here.

“Hello.” A guy that was probably around my age, maybe a year or two older, says to me.

“Hello. I saw your sign out there that you needed some help with this place?” I ask instantly.

The guy raises his eyes in surprise. “I’m guessing you came for the job?”

I nod quickly.

“Well. Okay. Let me go get you the employment sheet.”

The employment sheet? Who even calls it that anymore? Well, whatever. I look around the store. It had some pretty decent clothes. It just needs some work. Like cleaning. The guy comes back, handing me a sheet and a pen. I quickly wrote my information down. Some questions did get to me though. Like who was my guardian thing. It almost brought me to tears.

“Here you go.” I place the sheet and pen on the registration counter.

He reads it. “Okay Lani Anne Jordan.” He says.

The way he said my name brought a smile on my face. It was good to hear my full name. Made me think of things when I was little. When I had a life.

“When would you like to start?”

“Now.” I blurt.

The guy laughs. “Tell you what. I’ll let you start right now if you…” He reaches behind him into a closet that I just now noticed. He brings out a broom.

“I’ve got you Boss.” I take it.

“Please. Call me Jax.”

“Okay Jax.” The name was pretty sexy.

I start to sweep. I try my best to get the corners where cobwebs were. I also made sure that I got under the rack of clothes. When I was almost done, Jax calls for me. I leave the broom and my dirt pile for his voice.

“Yes Jax?”

“If you’d like to once you’re done, you may fix the clothes.”

My eyes widen. “You mean rearrange them?” I was actually thinking about asking him that as I was sweeping.

“If you want.”

“Will do Jax.” I leave him back to my sweeping. The grin on his face making me smile. Ugh. This dirt pile is huge. I’m honestly glad that I came when I did. If I didn’t, this place would just be a whole pile of dirt. Clothes and all. I push all the dirt onto the dustpan.

“Trash cans out back.” Jax says.

Well then. Is he watching my every move? I walk out back holding the dust pan with two hands, trying not to spill it everywhere.

“You did a nice job Lani Anne.”

I raise my eyebrows at him as I give him the broom. “Middle names now?” I ask with a grin.

“Of course.”

~

Chapter Seventeen-Clara-Friday…

“Thanks for letting me come over Lani.” I say once I step into Lani’s house.

“It’s no big deal. I thought it’d be cool if it’s just you and me for the day.”

I set my bag on the floor, my shoes right next to them as I took them off.

“Are you hungry?”

“It’s okay Lani. I don’t have to eat right away.”

“Okay. My room then?”

I could tell that there was something bothering her as she spoke to me. Did I do something that put her on edge? Did I say something wrong? Hmm. I walk with her towards her room, my bag now back on my shoulders.

“You can set your stuff there.” Lani points at a pink beanbag.

“Who’s this?” I ask, noticing a picture with blonde hair and blue eyes.

“That’s...My mom.”

“She’s very beautiful.”

“Was.”

I turn to look at Lani. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-.”

“It’s fine.” She cuts me off. Now I wish I wouldn’t have said anything, because now she was glaring at me. “Were you with Braxton yesterday night?”

Her question startles me. “What’re you talking about?”

“You heard me.”

Oh my God. Lani thinks I went behind her back and went on a date with Braxton. Does she really not trust my word when I told her that I would never go for him? Because I never would. He’s far from my type. “I already told you that I would never like him. Let alone date him.”

Lani crosses her arms. Now I was getting frustrated. “Where were you yesterday night Clara?”

“I was working.”

“Where at?”

“Bean Cafe. I play and sing there. You can ask around. Plenty of people at school goes there.”

Lani seemed to relax, making me only relax a little bit. Then to my surprise: She starts to cry. I was so confused. Maybe this was all an act.

“Was Brax with someone last night?”

“Yeah. Nellie.”

Lani cries harder. “He broke up with me for her.”

Now I feel bad for her. “I’m really sorry. I thought they were out as friends.”

Lani shakes her head. “He called me while he was with her. I could hear her laughing as he was telling me that it was over.”

Now I’m just mad at Nellie. Why would she do this? Especially to Lani. I know Lani has her moments, but she’s actually a sweet person.

“I’ll talk to her.”

“Oh thank you Clara.” She comes over and hugs me. I rub her back until she stops crying. Lani heads to the bathroom to clean her face.

I look around her room. Pictures of the same woman, her mom, were hung up all around the walls. Sometimes a man, that I believe was her dad, was here and there in some pictures. I stop at a picture that was of the woman and the man. A little baby girl that looked to be around three, was in the middle, holding the woman’s and man’s hand in her own little hands.

“That was the last picture taken of us before they died.” Lani’s voice says to my right. I give her hand a small squeeze. “Sometimes I wish the fight never happened.”

“What kind of fight?”

Lani sighs. “I heard, from my grandmother, that my dad would get really drunk if he wasn’t working...One night my mom was screaming at him about how he needs to stop drinking...My dad was a cop back then, so he had his gun on him...I’m guessing he was too drunk to realize that he had his gun in his hand...He shot my mom...It only took one bullet to kill her...After that...My dad brought the gun to his own head, probably realizing what he’d truly done…”

I hold Lani’s hand, making sure she knows that I’m here for her.

“I’ve never been the same since then.”

I could only nod. No wonder Lani wants so much attention on what she does and says. She doesn’t want people to see right through her.

“I used to envy you Clara.”

“Envy me?” Now I was shocked.

“You’re you.” She looks at me. “You don’t let people get to you. You stay strong through it all. That’s what makes me envy you each day.”

I was speechless. Nobody has ever told me what she just told me. I guess I am more than meets the eye. “Thank you.” I finally whisper.

She gives me a smile that looks just like her mom’s. Somewhere inside her, both her mom and dad live on.

“You ready to eat now?”

I smile. “I’m ready now.” We head downstairs.

~

Chapter Eighteen-Nellie-Friday…

Thursday night. Wow. I could’ve never asked for anything more than that night. It was magical. A miracle. But the best part about it? Braxton kissed me goodnight on my front steps. We were under the moonlight as he kissed me. It was a kiss that said: I want you. So of course I kissed him back. I was too far into my daze to realize that Clara was beside me to my left.

“Oh, hi Clara.” I switch my books out, which was what I was going to do before I replayed the kiss in my head all over again.

“Why’d you take Braxton away from Lani?”

I look at her. “What?”

She glares me down.

I roll my eyes. “She broke up with him.”

“Other way around, actually.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Nellie. I knew you liked him from the beginning I met you. The staring, the smiles, everything. But no. You just had to take him away from her, didn’t you?”

I’ve never seen Clara like this before. What happened to the quiet, shy nerd? Oh yeah, that’s right. Lani came into her life. “I didn’t take anybody Clara. Brax asked me to go with him Bean Cafe.”

“Nicknames now, huh?”

I roll my eyes at her again. “Look: Lani’s a stuck-up spoiled snob anyways. I would break up with her too if I had the chance.”

I could tell she was getting mad, because she balls up her fists. “I never thought that I’d get into a fight with my sister before…”

Sister?

But before I could ask, Clara’s fist hits my jaw. I drop my books to the floor, my head hitting the locker. Clara hits me again, pushing me down to the floor. A crowd was starting to form.

“This is for telling Lani off.” She kicks my ribs. “And this is for taking Braxton from her.” She bends down, raises her fist at me, and hits my eye dead on. I scream in pain. “Think about what you did Nellie.” Clara walks away, some people gawking as she passes. I groan.

“Nellie!” Brax comes to me, helping me up. “Let’s get you to the nurse.” I didn’t even have the strength to argue. Brax carries me to the nurse’s office.

“Oh Dear Lord.”

I scream as she touches my ribs.

“She needs to go to the hospital. She needs to be checked.” Mrs. Dane calls Martha and John.

“What happened back there?” Brax asks.

I shake my head, afraid to speak.

“They’re on their way. Braxton, you may go back to class.” Brax leaves with worry in his eyes. “Who did this Nellie?”

I could tell. But I can’t. “I’d rather not say…”

Martha and John burst into the nurse’s office, panic written on their faces. They don’t even say a word. John carries me to the car, Martha crying the whole time. As we ride to the hospital, I remember what Clara said to me right before she punched me.

“Do I have a sister?”

Martha’s shoulders tense up. John looks at me through the rearview. Martha turns to look at me.

“Who told you that?”

“This girl...The one who fought me…”

Martha’s eyes widen. She looks over at John, who looks back at her. “Her name’s Clara, Nellie.”

Oh.

My.

God.

How could I have not known? This whole time...Clara was my…” Sister. “She’s my sister.”

Martha nods.

“So my name is actually Nellie Banks...Nellie Grace Banks…But wait...Where does the Shawn come from?”

Now John speaks. “That’s your mother’s maiden name. Her name is Mia Shawn Banks.”

I look at Martha. Then John. “Who’re you really?” I remember when I was young that they’d flinch whenever I said their names. Or when people asked who my parents were. Who my family was.

“I’m your Aunt Nellie.”

My mind explodes. Little Jeffrey...Whenever they told me that I would never take his place, but they would love as their own. Tears go down my cheeks. My black eye hurting from it. “Oh Martha...John...Why?”

John reaches back and squeezes my knee. “Because we wanted another. But we couldn’t do it...So Mia gave you to us...I could never be more happier to have you.” Then John starts to cry. Then Martha. My aunt and uncle...More like my mom and dad.

We arrive at the hospital. We all go into one big hug.

“Thank you.” I mumble into their shoulders.

“Always Nellie...Always.”

John carries me the rest of the way, Martha stays behind in the car. Nurses instantly reach out for me, lying me down, taking me to a room where they’ll fix me. Never in my life have I been more afraid. I close my eyes to calm myself down.

~

Chapter Nineteen-Braxton-Friday…

“Calm down Dude. She’s going to be okay.” Jake says to me during lunch.

“Who went at her anyways?” I was seriously mad. Who would even hurt Nellie? Lani couldn’t have, she was in Biology by that time.

“If I told you, you’d be pissed.”

I glare at Jake.

“Fine. It’s that nerd girl who’s over there with Lani.” Jake points over at Lani’s table that I used to sit at.

“You mean Clara?” No way could Clara have done that.

“Yeah, her. She said something to Nellie before punching her jaw.”

My blood boiled. How could an innocent girl like her do something like that? Clara met my eyes. She glares me down before giving me the finger. Harsh. Can’t believe I ever liked her in the first place. Lani laughs at her gesture towards me. I’ve had enough.

“Don’t Brax.” Jake holds onto my arm, but I jerk away, walking up to Lani’s table.

I’m guessing me walking over here mad is the most funniest thing, because they point and laugh.

“What’s your problem?” I grumble at Lani.

She fans herself, not even caring that I’m here. “Why don’t you tell him Clara?”

Clara glares up at me. “You clearly left her for someone who’s not worth your time.”

“Nellie’s worth my time, unlike her.” Everybody gives me a hard look, including Lani.

“I’m guessing almost four years wasn’t worth it?” Lani asks.

“It was at first.”

Clara stands up. “Just go away Braxton. Nobody at this table cares about you.”

I cross my arms. “Make me Glasses.” I heard Alex Laner call her that plenty of times. I knew it got on her nerves, so maybe she’d leave me alone.

I was wrong.

Instead of looking all upset like I thought she’d be, there was fury in her eyes. She grabs my wrist and walks me back to Jake like I was some sort of dog. I try to jerk away from her like I did Jake, but she only held on tighter. People were watching me lose to a little nerd. Great. She pushes me down to sit next to Jake.

“Now. Don’t ever come back to us. Have fun with my sister you Jerk.” At that, she walks away.

“Sister?” I ask Jake.

Jake only shrugs, confused as I am. I watch Clara sit next to Lani. She goes back to whatever she was talking about before I interrupted them.

“Dude, she was pretty strong.” Jake takes my attention off of them.

“You think? Basketball player versus a nerd? Duh.”

Jake laughs. “How’s Nellie holding up?”

“Last time she texted me, she said she was doing okay.” Even though that may have been a lie, I’m still worried about her.

The bell rings.

“Catch you later Dude.”

“See you.”

I walk to the school’s parking lot, ready to see Nellie.

“Hey.” I turn to see Clara.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“During lunch? It was all an act…”

“Let me guess: For Lani.”

She slowly nods.

I nod back.

“Will you take me to Nellie’s? My mom dropped me here.”

I blink. Should I bring the one that beat up my girlfriend? I shrug. Clara helps herself into my car. She doesn’t say a word to me the whole ride to Nellie’s house.

“Clara?”

“Yes Braxton?”

“You told me at lunch to ‘have fun with your sister’.” I look over at her.

She looks away. “She’s my sister, yes.”

Wow. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it before. Same hair color, same facial features except the eyes. “Twins?”

“Yeah…”

We get out of my car. Clara’s shoulders tense up as she rings the bell. Why is she so nervous? It’s just Nellie we’re seeing. Maybe she’s nervous to see her. Maybe. A woman opens the door.

“Clara?” Her voice comes out in a whisper.

“Oh Aunt Martha.”

They hold another. Aunt. Nellie must live with them.

“Who is it Martha?” A man’s voice asks.

“Uncle John!” Clara runs to her uncle, who was surprised, then holds her close.

“Oh Clara. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Wow. I feel so awkward.

“Braxton. You’ve come to see Nellie?” Martha asks.

“And me.” Clara says, letting John go.

“She’s in her room.”

I follow Clara to Nellie’s room.

“What’re you doing here?”

Then she sees me. “You brought her here?”

“She wanted to see you.”

“I did. It was my choice. Not his.”

Nellie glares at Clara. Clara only looks back, eyes wide.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that we were sisters?” Nellie demands.

“Mom and Dad thought it’d be safe for the both of us.”

“Then how’d you find out?” Nellie seemed to relax, so I go over and hold her hand.

“I found a box of pictures of the two of us. I found out on my own.” Nellie nods, understanding.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but who wants some pizza?” John asks.

Clara and Nellie grin.

~

Chapter Twenty-Lani-Friday…

“Grandma?”

“Yes Dear?”

“Do you miss Mom?”

My grandmother stops cooking and looks over at me. “Of course I do Dear. She was my whole world.”

I nod, going back to doing my makeup. “Do I look like her?” I ask, putting on lipstick.

She gives me a smile. “You have her beauty, her kindness...Her everything.”

“Even her stubbornness?”

My grandmother grins. “She was pretty stubborn.”

I laugh. “I love you Grandma.”

“I love you too Dear.”

I finish the last of my makeup, twirling around to show my grandmother. I was wearing the black dress that I fell in love with at the mall.

“Beautiful.”

I beam.

“And who’s the lucky guy you said you were going out with again?”

“His name is Jax. Pretty sweet guy. But we’ve gotta leave right when he arrives. He placed a time for us at this fancy restaurant.”

My grandmother nods, approval in her eyes.

A car horn goes off outside. I slip on my white heels. “Bye.”

“Bye Dear.”

I put a white cover-up over my shoulders. I close the front door behind me. Jax smiles once he sees me. I smile back.

“You look lovely.”

“So do you.”

Jax helps me into his Audi. He drives to a restaurant called Oh, Diner. It was huge. So many windows showed happy couples inside. There was small fountains inside as well that I could see.

“It’s beautiful.” I say as we’re inside.

“Mr. Laner.”

“Paul.”

Laner. That last name sounds really familiar. Hmm. But a look from Jax caught off all thinking. He was just so handsome. Paul leads us through the many couples that were seated. But instead of being seated inside, Paul leads us outside. On the balcony. Underneath the moon and stars. It was like a dream come true.

“Thank you Paul.”

“Anytime Sir.”

I sit in front of Jax. Paul lights the candles between us. How romantic.

“What would the lady like to drink?”

“Sweet tea.”

“I’ll take the same.”

Paul leaves to get our drinks.

“Thank you for all this.” I say.

“Always Lani. You deserve the very best.”

I blush at his words. No guy has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel. “I’m surprised you found an interest in me.” I say once Paul sets our drinks down and takes our order.

He leaves quickly. Probably to give us privacy.

“Well. You did bring my little store back into business the way it used to be.”

“It just needed some change here and there.”

“Brought a lot of people to my store though.”

I bite my lip as I stare into his eyes, his lips, then back again. I’m guessing he noticed. Jax has slicked-back blonde hair, brown eyes to my liking, and his smile was amazing. Paul arrived with our food. We eat in silence, giving another a glance or two.

I stand up once I’m done. I go towards the balcony, resting my hands on the cold wood. I look up at the moon, bright and blue. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It’s amazing.” Jax rests his hand on mine, sending butterflies all around in my stomach.

“Lani…”

I look over at Jax. His brown eyes were looking deeply into mine. He leans towards me slowly. He’s going to kiss me. But...I just got out of a relationship. I don’t want to go so fast. But Jax...He leans so close, our faces only inches apart. Our breathing comes out soft and slow. I can do this...I place my hands on his hips, feeling the warmth from his body warm my cold fingers.

“Lani.”

“Shh.” I pull him close to me, our lips almost touching. “You make me feel amazing.” I whisper against his lips.

“And you do the same for me.” His words tickly my lips, making me smile.

I bring my lips to his. The kiss was soft. Gentle. Nice. The kiss seems to last forever. Until my phone rings. I pull away from Jax, apologizing. He didn’t even seem annoyed. Hmm. I pick up my phone.

“Hey Clara.”

“They’re gone Lani.” Clara sobs into the phone.

“Who’s gone?”

“My parents.”

My heart sinks. I already lost my parents...Clara can’t. Not now. Not ever. “What happened?” I start to panic.

“A car crash...A drunk driver ran into them...They died right on…” She sobs harder and louder.

“I’m coming. Don’t worry.”

“Oh Lani. I’m falling apart.”

“I’m coming Clara. Right now.” I slam my phone shut. “We have to leave. Now.” I leave the balcony, practically running out the front doors.

I’m coming Clara, I’m coming.

I run to Jax’s car. Jax wasn’t far behind. He starts his car. I give him directions, and he speeds down the road.

~

Chapter Twenty-One-Clara-Saturday…

I cry. Cry until I can’t cry anymore. My heart was dead. Not even beating. All life that was left in it died away. I sob into my hands. Why did they have to die? They were supposed to be here. With me. They were on their way home. But no. A drink driver just had to drive right into them dead-on. They weren’t coming back. They were never coming back.

I go to my parents’ room, their room was still the same. The same way that it’ll always be. I lay on their bed. My mom’s scent was still lingering. Her coconut perfume was the best. I could also smell my dad’s expensive cologne that he got every year. I cuddle close with the sheets, wanting their smell to take me over. To take me to the better times. All those sweet memories. Just the three of us.

I leave their room. I go to my bathroom. I look into the mirror. I was a wreck. A complete and utter wreck. I open the drawer underneath the sink. I take out a gun. I check inside. One single bullet.

I go back to my bedroom. I never thought that this day would come.

Lani said she’d come. But she never did. Braxton was too busy. And Nellie was still in pain. I cry. I have nobody. Nobody in this world truly cares for me. Not like my parents did. I have to say goodbye. I have to say my last words.

I call Lani first. Her phone goes straight to voicemail. I decide to leave a message.

“You didn’t come last night like you said. I’m guessing I was never worth your time. Thanks for bringing me into the crowd. Thanks for letting me go shopping. Thanks for telling me your biggest truth. Your truth is going to die with me today, so nobody will ever know the truth. Your truth. Thanks for at least being a friend. Goodbye Lani.”

Next, I call Braxton. His also goes to voicemail.

“Hey Braxton. I’m also guessing you were too busy to help me. I’m sorry for all the things that I have done to you. I never meant to make your life a living chaos. And I also knew at one point that you did like me. I honestly think that Nellie is the best one for you. She’s amazing. Treat her good for me, okay? Goodbye Braxton.”

One last call to make. My hands tremble as I call Nellie.

“Hello?” A very tired Nellie asks.

“Hey Nellie. Sorry to wake you.”

“It’s fine. I had to wake up anyways. I have to take my meds.”

“Sorry about that. I never meant to truly hurt you. I was just angered at the time.”

“I understand. But sisters have to fight here and there, right?”

Oh God. Why did she have to bring that up? I was trying to avoid that of all things. “I love you Nellie. I hope you honestly always know that.” I’m starting to cry.

“What’re you talking about Clara?”

“Just please promise me that you’ll always remember me. That you’ll always remember how much I love you.”

There was silence on her end. I was literally sobbing now. I clench the gun in my hand.

“I found out about Mom and Dad from Martha and John…”

Why is she doing this?!

“Please don’t fall apart from that Clara. Martha and John can take you in. We can finally be sisters.”

Nellie’s only making this harder than it’s supposed to be.

“Please Clara.”

“I can’t! Don’t you see? I can’t have them replace their spots, I just can’t! They were all that I have ever wanted! They were the only reasons why I have held on for so long! But now they’re gone Nellie! Gone!” I grit my teeth so hard that I could feel my whole body shake. Hot tears roll down my face.

“I know Clara…”

“No, you don’t!” I try to calm myself down. When I finally do, I say, “Tell Aunt Martha and Uncle John that I love them. Tell them that I’m sorry about Jeffery. Tell them to treat you the best that they could ever do.”

“Clara, please. Just come here. We’ll take care of you. We’ll make sure that everything will be okay. I promise you that.”

I furiously shake my head. “Nellie: Listen to me. Promise me that you’ll never forget me. Promise. Me.”

Now Nellie was crying. “I-I-I p-p-promise.” She stutters through her tears.

“I love you my dear sister.”

“I l-l-love y-y-you too.”

I end the call before I could break down all over again. I go back to my parents’ room. I place my phone on their bed, along with a note to whoever will find me.

I raise the gun to my head, remembering what Lani told me about her parents’ final fight.

This is my final fight.

~

Chapter Twenty-Two-Nellie-Saturday…

She’s gone. She’s really gone.

I take my place before the people who came to Mom’s, Dad’s, and Clara’s funeral. So many people. Black was everywhere. Please tell me that this was all a dream. But it’s not. This is reality. And I can’t go in the past to stop this from happening.

I take out a sheet of paper that was supposed to be my last words for Clara. I had written down what I thought was my last words. But I don’t think that will ever come. I look at all the people that came.

“Death is a tragic thing. Nobody will ever cope with what has been done. What my mom, my dad, and my sister went through is nothing that I could ever cope with. I recently found out that Clara was my twin sister. That her parents were my parents. It was all coming together as one: I actually had a family. But then there was Martha and John.”

I look up a them.

“They took care of me because they wanted me. They wanted what they possibly could never have. Clara told me that they were also my family.”

I hold back tears.

“She was the one who made me realize who I really was. She was the one who made me who I am today.” Tears fall. “She also made me promise her to remember her. So I’m not going to say goodbye. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not twenty years from now.”

I rub my tears away.

“So this is my promise to her: I will let her live on, even if she is dead. I love her and I always will. Sisters are supposed to go through everything together. She’s going to be with me the whole way right here.”

I pat my heart.

“Thank you all for coming. Clara and our parents love you all.”

I walk back to Martha and John, my speech now a crumpled up piece of paper in my fist.

“You did good Nellie.” John holds me close. Martha holds my hand.

I watch them as they lower my parents’ caskets into the ground. But I look away as they lower Clara’s. Never have I thought that this would happen. I honestly try my best to hold on when the preacher prays. I run to my car as soon as everybody says Amen.

I cry with everything that I’ve got. I cry for Mom. I cry for Dad. I cry for my dear sister Clara. I was about to get out of this place when a familiar face shows up at my car window. It was Alex Laner. The guy that I almost got into a fight with, but Clara stopped. I roll down my window.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Are you okay?”

I could only nod.

“Look. I’m really sorry. I feel just as bad as everyone else.”

“There’s no need to feel that way Alex…”

“I should. I’ve bullied her for almost four years now...I kind of feel like that this is all my fault, you know?”

I could only nod. To my honest surprise, Alex starts to cry.

“I actually had feelings for her.” Alex says through his tears.

“Really?”

“Really. But I also had people up my everything, bothering me, picking me as their victim. There was no way for me to tell her how I felt.”

Alex, one of the worst bullies at our school, actually had a crush on one of the most nerdiest nerds: my one and only sister.

“Well. If you wouldn’t have been such a pain, she probably would have liked you.”

Alex rubs his eyes. “Really?”

“I’m sure.”

I could see him grin, then it slowly falls. “But she’ll never know how I truly felt.”

“She’ll always know.”

“How?” The look he gives me was so heartbreaking.

“She’s in here.” I pat where his heart was.

He smiles. “Thanks Nel, you’re the best.

“If I’m not mat you like that one day.” At that, we laugh in unison.

“Take care, alright?”

“Alright.”

I go to roll up my window, but Alex says, “Wait! I forgot to tell you!”

“What is it?” I roll my window back down.

“Throughout the funeral, an idea popped into my head. I’m pretty sure that school will allow it if we have enough votes on it.”

I push my bangs out of my face.

“Well. Since a lot of people do get bullied at our school...Including me...I thought we could start a Non-Bullying Club, where we could help those people in need...To let them know that we’re here...That we’re here to help with any problems that we have.”

His idea goes through my head, processing all that he had said. “I understand Alex, I really do. But then again, who would sign up? Most people are afraid to open up to some strangers they don’t know.”

Alex goes quiet for a minute.

Then he finally speaks, “Then let’s do this: We’ll do it all for Clara.”

I smile.

~

Chapter Twenty-Three-Braxton-Saturday…

I hold Nellie in her bedroom as she cries. I knew what happened with Clara and her parents hit her hard to the core, so I didn’t mind her soaking my shirt with her tears.

“I miss her already.”

“I know.” I rub her back in circles, afraid to say the wrong thing, afraid she’ll go off on me.

“Do you remember that night you asked me out to go to Bean Cafe with you?” Nellie asks once she stops crying.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Did you like Clara at that time?”

My chest tightens at the question. “Let’s just say that I feel for the wrong girl.”

“But what about me?”

I kiss the top of her head. “You’re all I need Nellie Grace.”

She smiles. “So you do remember my name.”

“How could I ever forget? Eighth grade year, wasn’t it?” I grin at her, remembering everything that year.

“The year that you were dared to make-out with me.”

I laugh softly. “My first kiss was you.”

Nellie sits up, looks at me. “Are you serious?”

“Serious as serious can be.”

Nellie bites her lip from smiling, but it couldn’t stop her. I lean in and give her a kiss.

“Wow.” I laugh.

“Am I that good of a kisser?”

“You tell me.”

Hmm. I kiss her more, soft, then hard. The kisses getting stronger. “I never thought I’d say this, but: I love you Nellie.” I say against her soft lips.

Nellie sighs, looking into my eyes. “I love you too Brax.”

I smile at the one thing that completes me.

“Do you mind?”

I look at her guitar that she was pointing at. “I don’t mind at all.”

She grabs her guitar, sets it in her lab, and strums the chords. “Remember that song she played that night? The one she played on the piano?

By ‘she, she meant Clara. “I remember.”

“That was her’s and my song...She introduced it to me whenever her and I got close.”

I nod, chewing on my lip.

“Do you mind if I play it?”

“Not at all.”

“Do you remember the lyrics?”

I cringe.

“Same.” She laughs softly. “Sing with me if you can?”

I look into her green eyes. “Of course.”

Nellie strums the chords again before playing the song. She starts to sing. Her voice was a melody to my ears. Just like Clara’s was. Nellie goes into the chorus. I sing along with her, remembering. Our voices sing in unison, a beautiful sound. It’s been a long time since I’ve sang. It feels good. I thank Clara.

Nellie plays the last chord, a smile upon her face. “‘Falling Away’...I’ll never forget her.”

“Neither will I.” And I meant it.

A knock on the door brought us to reality.

“Nellie Honey, dinners ready.” Martha’s head pokes into the room, giving us a small smile.

“I’m not really up for eating…”

“It’s your favorite.”

Nellie thinks. “Cheeseburger?”

“Try again.”

“Hmm. Tacos?”

“One last try?”

Then Nellie’s face lights up. “Supreme pizza?”

Martha laughs. “Bingo.”

“Thanks Martha, for everything.”

“Oh Honey…”

At that point I decided to leave the room, to give them both some privacy.

“Hello John.”

“Braxton. How’re you?”

“Still living the dream.”

John grins. “How’s Basketball?”

“Just the same old, same old. Can’t wait for the season to start up though.”

“Excited?”

“Very. Gotta get back in shape.”

“You are in shape.” Nellie’s voice says.

Martha walks in laughing with us. “So. Pizza?”

“Yes!” Nellie shrieks.

“I should get going. Don’t want to keep Aunt Liv and Uncle Ry waiting for long.”

“Okay Brax, drive safely.” Martha says.

“Have a good night Bud.” John says.

“You too.”

I walk to my car, ready to go home to my loving family. But I had to see Kyle first.

“Yo.” Kyle says as soon as he opens the door.

We side hug as always.

“How’s life?”

“Treating me good. You?”

“Same as always.”

We sit on his couch, side-by-side. I came here for an important reason. Kyle needs to know how I truly feel.

“Kyle…There’s something I need to say.”

“Shoot.”

“Well..I’ve been holding this in for months now...And…” I sigh. This was harder than I expected it to be.

“And?” Kyle’s eyes soften, apparently already knowing where I’m getting at.

“I want you to come home.” The words leave my mouth before I could stop myself. “Things just haven’t been the same since you left...I just want the old times back again Kyle...I miss you...And I miss the way we all used to be.”

I could feel myself on the bridge of tears.

Kyle looks at me, those eyes that I long to be with again. “So take me home Brax.”

~

Chapter Twenty-Four-Lani-Saturday…

I slap my forehead, feeling more stupid than I already was. I should’ve known! “Alex Laner...The brother of my boyfriend.” I laugh in disbelief.

Alex could only shrug and smile. “I thought you would’ve figured it out by now.”

I feel so stupid. How could I have not seriously known that Jax and Alex were related? They clearly had the same last name. Grr my stupidity. “It’s nice to finally meet my boyfriend’s brother without gossip around.” We laugh.

I move stacks of paper about the Recycle club to one side, moving more to the opposite side. “So, you wanted to talk to me about a club, you said?” I get out a new sheet, ready to jot down his ideas. I uncap a pen, telling him that I was ready.

“I would like to start a Non-Bullying Club for Clara.”

I stopped writing half-way through ‘Bullying” when I heard him finish. “What did you say?” I ask above barely a whisper.

“A Non-Bullying Club...For Clara.” He even looks kind of upset saying it.

“Well.” I clear my throat, trying not to be on the verge of tears. “What ever gave you that idea, if I may ask?”

Alex clears his throat. “Because...I bullied her since Freshman year...And then I also bullied others...I also got bullied along the way...So...Yeah…”

The silence engulfs me, making me want to break down. But I can’t. Now now. Not with Alex here.

“I’ll see what I can do. I’ve gotta ask the rest what they think about it. Hopefully it’ll work.” Hopefully.

“Okay, thanks Lani.” Alex leaves the room, leaving me to myself.

Clara...I force my eyes shut to stop myself from crying. But that only made things worse. Clara called me on the night her parents died. She called me for help. But of course right when Jax and I got on the road, I was distracted by other things. Like Jax. I don’t blame him for what happened. I blame myself for it. I lay back on the chair, covering my face with my hands, trying my best to calm down. I remember when she called me the next day. I was over at Jax’s that night, and the following morning. I just never thought I would make such a stupid choice of ditching her the way I did. When I saw who was calling, I freaked. I couldn’t talk to Clara without feeling guilty inside and out. So I let the phone ring until it went to voicemail. I was even too afraid to listen to the voicemail she left me.

And when I did? I felt so alone. So...Unwanted. I never thought that’d she’d end up killing herself. I fell apart when I listened to her voicemail. Each word she said tearing me apart. But what really got to me was when she said that my truth would die with her, so that nobody would ever know who I truly was...I wish I could’ve at least thanked her before she killed herself. I didn’t even have the courage or strength to go to her funeral. No matter how bad I wanted to go. But I just couldn’t. Not with all this guilt weighing on my shoulders. Before I knew it, a tear crawls down my cheek. I hold in a sob, but it only forces its way out. I cry for what seems like forever, but was only thirty minutes.

The bell rings. People will be coming in for the meeting I called for earlier today. I gather myself together, wiping away mascara-tears, and cleaning up my makeup. One by one people came in. Everybody in all these different clubs sit at their club meeting table. But today was going to be different Alex had an idea. I was going to make that idea happen. Right here. Right now. For Clara.

“Attention, everyone? Would it be okay if you all would sit closer together please?”

At first they all look confused, but then they move closer like I asked. Perfect.

“You all may know Alex Laner. If not, then that’s okay.” Half of the people at the mention of his name flinch. I wouldn’t blame them. They were probably one of his victims like Clara was. “Well. He came in today right before the bell rang. And he gave me his idea of a new club that everybody should be in.”

A few of them pass another awkward glances. Then Ryan Drones, who was part of the Band Club, raises his hand to speak.

“Go ahead.”

“But why would Ales come here, of all things?”

“Good question. And I think I may have the answer.” Everybody leans in, like they really want to know. Do they really?

Well, this is Alex’s truth. I take a deep breath before looking at all of them. I give off a small smile. This is all for Clara. Just for you Clara.

I put my hand up, and I say, “Because Alex thinks this would be best if we make a club about stopping bullying.”

“What?” A few people looked like they didn’t believe a word I said.

“The best part?” I say over them.

They look back at me.

“He wants to do it for Clara.”

~

Epilogue-Following Monday…

“Hello everybody. My name is Alex Laner. Some of you already know that. If not, then nice to meet you. Some of you may know me by me playing in a whole lot of sports, or maybe I was hanging around some of the people I play with. Well...Some may know me by bullying...Which is why I’m here today...Above all things, I wanted to say sorry for all the ones who I chose to be my victims. I never meant to treat you the way I did...Let’s just say that I also got bullied. None of you may believe that, but I never really got bullied here at our school...Let’s just say that things at home aren’t as good as you most think. I’ve been bullied my whole by my own two parents...Jax, my older brother, was the only one who treated me right. Why am I telling you all this? Because you all deserve to know the truth. My truth...At school, I basically got away from the one place that buried me inside and out...But then...I started to treat people here the way I got treated at home...I just...I don’t know why I did what I did. Maybe it’s because I wanted someone else to feel my pain...But my main victim of all was Clara Banks. You’ve all seen what I’ve done to her since Freshman year...And I regret every last bit of it. Why? Because now she’s dead...I blame myself, for one. I could see the way I hurt her, but something inside me told me to keep bullying. I knew I should’ve ignored it, but I didn’t. Clare was an amazing nerd. She had two loving parents. She lived as long as she possibly could...Until her parents died...I knew that those two main people were the only reasons she was alive...If only I could’ve been a better person, you know? To at least have been there when nobody else was...You all are probably wondering how I know all of this, all these things about her. Let’s just say this: I grew up with Clara. We were neighbours for almost nineteen years now. She was, well, used to be the only true friend I had, except for Jax. But she was different from Jax. She accepted me. She healed my broken heart. She was always the one who helped me whenever my parents abused me. She was the one who kept me in place. The one who stopped me from so many suicides...I’ll admit it: I liked her. More than that, actually. But...High school came around. I have no idea what came over me...I’m guessing I was afraid for people to find out that my best friend was her, who people called her Nerd. Or maybe I was afraid to let people know how I felt for her...I was…Afraid...Anyways...I want to make a club...A Non-Bullying Club...For Clara...In remembrance of her. You may all not remember...But that day when Nellie was coming at me...Before my eyes...Clara stopped her from hurting me...I just couldn’t believe it...I thought she’d let Nellie at me, because I deserved it, to be honest...But no, Clara stopped her. Maybe she still saw who I was. Maybe she could see that good that was still in me...I don’t know, but I could feel...Feel that she stilled cared...Still saw the little boy that came to her to cry for hours...Just maybe. But...Before the night she killed herself, she...She came to my bedroom window...I was seriously shocked to see her. There. At my window. At around midnight. She came to me...To tell me what happened...About her parents...I held her when she cried, remembering all those times she held me as I cried in her arms...But then she left...But she left me something...I have it with me now…”

Alex stops long enough to dig the note that Clara had left him out of his pocket.

“She left me this note. I haven’t read it yet...But if you all don’t mind, I would like to share it with you.”

He opens the envelope, his hands shaking as he slowly opens the note. He clears his throat.

“‘Dear Alex Brian Laner: I forgive you. All the things that you’ve done to me, I get it, okay? I always knew what you were going through. So I understand why I became your number one victim. I want you to stay strong. No matter what goes through your head, stay strong. For me. You were always my best friend. And you still are. Always know that. Be true to who you are Alex. People will accept you. Just like I did and do now. They’ll see who you truly are. I promise you that. I love you Aex. Keep that in your heart and mind. Love Always, Clara, Your Should To Always Lean On.’”

By the time Alex was done reading the note, he was in tears. He misses Clara. Wishes that she was here now. Beside him. But that will never happen. Never...But her words go through

Alex’s head, and he smiles. Smiles for Clara.

“So. Who’s with me?” Alex asks through his tears.

Everybody in the gym stands up, looks up at Alex, and they all raise their hands up. A signal that they were in. But it also meant more than that. And Alex knew what it meant. It meant that they accepted him for who he was.

“Thank you all so much for listening. For understanding.” Alex raises his fist up in the air, reaching towards Heaven where Clara was, giving her his heart.

~

End

~

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About the Creator

Ky Navarro

I'm just a person who enjoys to read and write, nothing too special, just me. ^^

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