The Toughest Run

The track seems rough tonight as Mike takes his run.

He couldn’t get in his rhythm but he was determined to get back on track.

All he could think of was the look on Mary’s face when she saw him.

She was in someone else’s arms. It was someone else touching her and making love to her.

The look on her face turned from being surprised to a look of sadness and regret.

Mike didn’t want to remember anything anymore. He wanted to block the scene out of his mind. Although he knew the real reasons why she had been so absent-minded for some time, it was hard to take in.

He took the turn and ran as fast as he could to get to the next lap.

All of a sudden he felt the anger come over him.

He was running faster and faster, he felt his blood boil as he thought of her.

How could he think he could forgive her? Does forgiving her mean it's okay she did it? All these questions drove him crazy.

But why is he the one feeling guilty?

His heart was racing. He was sweating and could feel the wet drops on his back.

Now he was mad at himself.

How could I be so naive? he thought.

Again and again, he told himself he doesn’t need her and he can in fact be himself without her.

He looked up and just about tripped. No way he thought, no time to be hurt or to get injured.

The race was in a few days and he had to focus.

The lights went on that lit up the track. He could see the bleachers and a couple of people up at the corner.

He could also see the other runners on the track. He couldn’t remember if he’d seen them on his last turn. He stayed in his line at a steady pace trying to avoid eye contact.

It was clear that he was not focused and there was no way he wasn’t going to be ready for the next race.

Even though he was given the lead and he had proven to be the best in his pace group this situation was now stopping him from achieving this goal.

He had been working so hard since moving here. He set his goals on the track and with hard work he climbed his “pace latter”, as he called it.

Maybe he should’ve worked just as hard with Mary. His heart raced as he took the next lap.

He came closer to the track exit and instead of heading out, he took another lap.

Thoughts of all the mistakes he made when she asked to go out or when she asked him to come home early ran through his head.

He counted the times they went out and the number of times she told him she would be too busy or how much work her boss expected to have done all those Friday nights.

Friday nights were no longer their date nights, so he made Friday his race prep nights.

He counted the times he offered her dinner at her office and how she always explained how busy she was. She made her boss seem like an ogre,

But now he knows why and maybe her boss has no idea.

Mike wanted to be mad and angry, but instead, he felt guilty. How could this be, he asked himself. I was not the one in her arms, she was in someone else’s arms! It was not my clothes all over that floor, it was his! he thought with tears in his eyes.

His thoughts went back to the moment: The only time he ever thought he could bring her a surprise at her place was this one time when she felt comfortable enough to have someone else in her bed. And as usual, the door was unlocked as a sign of trust or just her bad habit of not locking up.

He went straight to her room since he thought she’d be tired from working on those reports all night. But to his surprise, she was not tired or even alone. She was there in her birthday outfit next to someone he had no idea would crush his dreams.

Mike’s eyes filled with tears and he walked back towards the door.

She scrambled to get her clothes on and came towards him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe or speak. Then without much thought dropped the food bag. It was their favorite breakfast from the corner diner. He had asked for extra cream cheese on her bagel and an extra-strong coffee as she likes it.

She kept telling him she was sorry and didn’t expect him.

He keeps playing this scene in his head as he runs faster past the bleachers where he can see more people gathering.

He had purposely ignored all her calls and texts. He didn’t read any of them, he just deleted them as they came in. His heartbreak was real and ignoring her was the only thing he could do for now. There was no “let’s talk it out” this time.

Mike felt ignoring her was helping him get back at her. She liked to talk and sort things out, but not this time.

It felt like he had run 5 laps when he looked up and there was a whole group of people applauding him. He’d been running and passing the other runners. He was going over his tragic scene over and over and didn’t realize he was running as he’d never run before.

Now he was mad and he felt the rage of being cheated on.

He ran faster and passed those runners again.

Again he passed the exit, but now he was moving like a true runner. He was looking ahead towards his goal.

A true leader in his pace group. He was moving forward one step after the other.

The exit came to view and now he was ready to exit that episode of his life and run all out to the finish line.