My Worst Date
My Worst Date

The Tinder Tarp #MyWorstDate

by Robert Langdon 2 years ago in dating


The Tinder Tarp #MyWorstDate

I was swiping through Tinder at work because my head was just in the right space to care about work on a Monday morning, and came across this beautiful woman, about my age, with some shared interests and a mutual attraction as when I swiped right, we matched and I did my mini happy dance.

Jasmin, the tiny, beautiful, educated, and working 21 year old woman and I instantly hit it off, talking all day and night for the next 3 days, and we on Thursday, we got into a more heated conversation about our wild and kinky side. She was open, but secretive at the same time, sharing different stories and turn ons while also keeping some details out of the mix. Before anything would happen though, we both went to bed, and the next morning I decided to ask her if she would like to grab a drink at a pub that night and she agreed—cue the happy dance.

I showed up the pub early to be sure I could see her come in, then we got a table and continued to chat like old friends. Laughing, flirting, and having a great time, I couldn’t help think about how well this was going and try to find a way to figure out what she’s thinking. To my surprise, she asked “so what exactly are you looking for on tinder?” It caught me off guard, but I managed to string it together; “Uh, I’m actually not entirely sure—I’m not looking for anything specific, just trying to have some fun and new adventures and see where things go!” I was surprised when I saw her eyes lighten up and say “oh really? what kinda fun and adventures?” with a little smirk across her face... I could tell where this was leading—or at least I thought I did.

We finished our drinks, and each gave each other a look suggesting getting a cab back to her place after she made sure to let me know her roommate was out of town for the night. I grabbed the bill and ordered an Uber as she went to the bathroom. We hopped in the backseat and she was instantly all over me, kissing my neck and grabbing my thighs. Things were getting hotter as we pulled up to her apartment and got out. We made it as far as the elevator before we started up again, having my shirt half off and her skirt pulled up as I had her pinned up against the wall. We worked our way into her apartment and fell onto her couch as we were clumsily walking around as were throwing each others' clothes across the apartment.

After a few minutes of foreplay, she hops on top of me and stopped, telling me to follow her to her bedroom. I hopped up instantly and followed her by hand into the dark room. We were going at it again before we even hit the bed, and things were heating up again. Then as she was going down on me, she stopped to say, “So you're looking for new adventures huh?” and all I managed to get out was an “mhmm” and then next thing I knew, my body jumped as she slipped her finger into where the sun don’t shine. It was a shocking first for me, and I tried to get her to stop at first, but gave in. Then the feeling disappeared for a second, and then happened again so I just went with it. Then she hopped on top of me, reverse cowgirl, and I thought nothing of the fact that I was still feeling that new sensation.

After an amount of time, I grabbed her hips and mumbled “I’m gonna finish” and she instantly hopped off of me and began to jerk me off with her hand. I was a bit disappointed for half a second, but then in a sudden I had this unbelievable sensation throughout my entire body, an enormous release. My body didn't know how to react and I actually started to cry.

When I finally opened my eyes as she turned on the light to see her standing at the end of the bed, beads dangling from her glove covered hand in front of a freshly dirtied blue tarp scaling the wall. She had planned this whole thing out from the beginning, because that tarp was up before we got back to her apartment.

When I came to and realized what just happened, I was startled, standing naked in her room, looking around frantically trying to explain what had just occurred. After she calmed me down, I put my clothes on and said I had to go. For some reason I felt like I had to apologize for the mess that (somehow, apparently) sprayed across the wall sized tarp—to which she simply laughed and said “Oh don’t worry, I’ve gotten used to it after time.” I didn’t know how to react so faked a laugh and mumbled bye as I snuck out the door for the elevator.

A couple days went by and we hadn’t been in contact at all. But the next Friday, I got a notification; “Jasmine has sent you a message on Tinder.” I opened it to read “Drinks tonight?”

We met at the pub half an hour later.


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