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The Time I Cried

The Only Nightmare That Ever Got to Me

By Jordan AtheyPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Okay, before I start I would like to introduce myself. My name is Jordan and I am 18 years old. I live in England with my parents, oh and I'm gay. I realised I was gay around the age of 12 but remained closeted for the next five years. What I am about to tell you happened when I was 12, roughly three weeks after I had figured out who I was.

It was a regular winter's night in England; cold, dark, and wet. I had just watched an episode of TheVampire Diaries (the best show on the planet) when I was nestling down to go to sleep, I had school in the morning and it was going to suck. I had to deal with some horrible people in my class who liked to bully me and hit me but I digress. I lied down in my Power Rangers covers and I closed my eyes.

I'm standing in a street, my street, but it's empty, there is no one around. I call out but no one hears me, I shout for my mother, my father, sister, even brother but still nothing. I was alone. I realise I'm a 30-second walk from my house and run up the street to my front door... it was ajar

Inside, I see a light coming from the living room. Finally, someone was around. I walk into the living room and standing there is my entire family and a priest. I was confused as to why the priest was there but I couldn't help but hug my parents, I had thought that I'd lost them forever. They refuse my hug. My father boomed an almighty boom.

"We know WHAT you are!"

My mother in tears at this point, crying about how she was a failure as a mother. Head in hands she becomes incoherent. I'm confused as to what was going on... I whimpered.

"What do you mean what I am?"

Again, a mighty boom,

"A FAGG, a God damn FAGG."

My heart sunk deep within my chest as I barely managed to swallow. I stumbled on my words, trying desperately to apologise, when abruptly, the priest pipes up ...

"You're going to Hell boy, God hates the gays and you're going to the fiery depths of the inferno."

I cried as my family began to grow. No, I was shrinking, I notice I'm sinking through the ground. It opens up into a fissure of flame, as there in front of me was the devil, Lucifer, himself...

I woke up; sweat-drenched and screaming. My hands were shaking terribly and my heart raced in bursts, my parents worried about what had happened to their son... I lied there and cried for the rest of the night for six hours. I was scared of what I was now and I wanted to be normal ... I was a 12-year-old kid who thought he was wrong.

But now that I'm 18, I am doing better but I still haven't come out to my parents.

Thank you for reading this little story, it's all true and I thank you for getting to the end.

lgbtq
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