The Tale Of You & Me Part 2: Breaking Your Heart

Dear Greta,

It's time for the second part of our story. This is a period of time that, at one point or another, we both wished never happened. Unfortunately, not only did it happen but it's a major chapter of our history. On my 18th birthday, we went on a trip to Orlando with my family. Neither of us knew it at the time but this was one of the last good memories the two of us would make for a while.

After that trip, things at home started to become really tough for me. No matter what the situation was, my mom and I just couldn't see eye to eye. At the same time, your mom got sick, so the two of us rarely got the opportunity to see each other. For a while, we managed to make it work but that all changed the day my mom decided to kick me out. This was the first time that I was truly on my own and all my attention went towards proving to her that I could look after myself. The consequence of that determination was that I began to become distant, making the time between our phone calls become greater and greater. There was another factor that played a role in my behavior. It was right after my mom kicked me out that I met Sophie.

The Other Girl

When I first began living on my own, the last thing I was worried about was meeting girls. I was caught completely off guard, by a girl who was just as much of a rebel as I was. It didn't take long for me to figure out that this girl wasn't healthy for me at all. However, for some unknown reason, I couldn't bring myself to stay away from her. Don't get me wrong, it's not like she would've made it easy for me to do so, had I tried. After a few months, things between Sophie and me started to get serious but you and I were still together. It's not that I didn't love you anymore, we just never could find the time to see each other. You lived so far away and Sophie made it a point to always be around. I knew that you didn't deserve what I was doing to you and I needed to man up and break up with you; it was the right thing. Trying to figure out how I was going to break your heart made me really sad.., it was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. Unfortunately, the right thing to do is rarely ever easy. Regardless of how hard I knew it was going to be, I knew what needed to be done. So, I made that phone call and broke your heart. I knew that you wouldn't take it well but there's no way I could've guessed that, not long after, your mom would die...

Regrets On The Road

A couple of weeks after we broke up, I had to go on the road for my job. It was during that four-week work trip that regret would hit me the hardest. I remember then nights when I would be in my motel room, laying in bed staring at the roof. Going to sleep was impossible when dealing with the guilt of how bad I hurt you. Me and Sophie may have been together but when I was alone at night on those work trips, the person that I couldn't stop thinking about was you.

Greta.., I want you to take a moment to tell you that I am sorry. I can't possibly stress this enough, Greta, I'm so sorry for breaking your heart. I abandoned you and at a time when you would end up needing me the most. It's important that you understand that hurting you back then has always been the greatest regrets of my entire life. The truth is that, no matter how guilty I feel about it, it doesn't change the fact that you needed me and I wasn't there.

Our Time Apart

A few months had passed and you and I started texting again. It's obvious to me looking back, that I just didn't care about my relationship. I made no attempt to try and hide our messeges and one day, Sophie found them while she was going through my phone. This caused one of the biggest arguments that her and I ever had. I couldn't deny the fact that I still had feelings for you, not that I tried to. Things played out the way I thought they would.., Sophie and I broke up and then you and I got back together. I was honestly happy to be with you again and had every intention of doings the right way this time around. Problem is, the road to hell is paved with good intentions and life showed me that things didn't always go the way you wanted them to.

Things were going good between us and I was under the impression tht they would stay that way. Then, one day out of the blue, life through me a curve ball. That curve ball turned out to be a phone call from Sophie. She hadn't taken our break up as well as she claimed she would and had called me several times before crying, ranting, and cursing me out. I wish that this phone call was just another emotional rant on her behalf but that wasn't the case; turns out she was calling me to tell me she was pregnant. I was young and naive back then and really believed that I was going to be a dad. To me, no matter how good our relationship was going, I owed it to my child to try and be a family with his mother. I wanted them to have the childhood that I never had.., one where both their parents were together.

I wish I knew back then that she was lying, I wish I never let her trick me into breaking up with you for the second time. The first time may have hurt but the second time was more then you could handle. You gave me another chance and I broke your heart again; I may have thought I was doing the right thing but I didn't stop to consider the effect that it would have on you.

For the first time since we met, it felt like you were really done with me for good. For nearly a year, we rarely ever spoke, the one time that we did you made it clear that you were in a happy relationship and wanted nothing to do with me. You met this guys named Shorty and the two of you seemed pretty good together. It may have bothered me when I found out but I knew that you deserved better then what I put you through. So I decided to just leave you alone and Sophie and I spent a year breaking up and getting back together. From time to time, you would pop into my mind and I would wonder how you were doing. No matter how much I thought about you, I was positive that our relationship was a thing of the past but the more me and Sophie were together the more I would realize how much she wasn't you. I had the love of one the most amazing girls I had ever been with and I completely fucked it up. At least so I thought, until one night when my phone went off and I picked it up to find a messege from you.