The strangest date I've ever had.

Staring into my reflection in the resteraunt ladies room I examined the ageing lines on my face and sighed. I was 15 minutes early for a first date with man I had been chatting to on a Dating app and I had finally gotten the courage to meet with him.

'You can do this Becky.' I said to myself. I was nervous and starting to perspire more than usual from the anxiety of the possibility that he might see me and leave. I was putting too much pressure on the hope that this guy might be the one. After a bad history of the ones that were not the one. We both had not exchanged photos but we had some very deep spiritual conversations that I have been longing to be able to have with someone. Looks over connection is what matters. I just hope he feels the same.

A threw a fortune cookie into my purse from the bowl next to the basin and headed back to my table.

Looking at my watch I calmed my nerves by watching the commotion in the kids play area across the room.

A toddler was crying hysterically as a few helpless resteraunt staff tried to calm down what must be a very drunk poor old elderly man in his 80s who was vigourosly shacking the bubble gum toy machine trying to shake his jammed you out.

This went on for a couple of minutes until the intoxicated man finally got the toy capsule to come out and held it up in the air in victory. The staff ushered him back to his table which just so happened to be right next to mine. I looked at my watch. My date was 2 minutes late.

'Hello Darlin' the old man slurred to me leaning off his chair with his head hanging in my direction. 'Mind if I join you?' he stumbled over to my table and pulled out the chair.

'Sorry I'm meeting some...'. he sat down opposite me before I could finish. Clutched to his chest was a bottle of wine and a glass that he then tried to pour with one eye closed as if he was trying to thread a needle. The glass overflowed and pooled over what was a fresh white table cloth for what I was trying to make 'a perfect date'.

My new drunk old friend sunk slowly down into his chair and closed his work eyes. 'Now let me tell you a story young lady.'

'Oh dear .' I mumbled under my breath. This situation did not look easy to get out of as he had gotten extremely comfortable in my missing dates chair.

'Once upon a time, a very fairy like tale of a time, in an ancient Realm, the first realm to ever feel the warmth of the sun, there was a village of numbers and no faces. ' The man took a sip of his wine. I didn't know If he was actually awake and sleep talking or not.

H continued in slurred speech. 'A great giant spirit who beared no eyes but saw more than what ever was to see, governed the realm of the great temple of numbers. For this realm was the first realm so like a bear doing his business in the woods with no witnesses to smell it, there was no one to criticise this great governor, a master architect of infinite realms that his temple made of a pile of dead autumn leaves, a barrel of hay for a throne and a cardboard signed sticky taped to a twig with reading 'Maths Boss don't enter' in kindergarten font scribble, was not that fancy of a temple.

But see this realm was full of magic and the Greatest Sorcer's of the all of the civilisations to come drew power from the depths of what would turn out to be a forgotten realm.' he let out ab embarrassingly loud chuckle causing the other diners to throw some mean stares of disapproval at me. I put my head in my hands and listened on.

'This great spirit, like the native Indians went by many names, was mentioned in the infinite history of time under disguise of different shapes, faces, and by the luck of his magical nature, the description of his temple was very wrongly translated. You name it he's in it love. Anyway long story short Mr Maths man created a new realm of shapes. This also was a realm with no faces. Just the numbers 0, 1, 2, 3, 4 .....' his head fell backwards and he let out a snore. Yes. I had a sleeping drunk old man on my date.

I looked over to the resteraunt line up to see if I could spot my new mystery maybe future husband to be.

'Ahhh' Drunk man had started to fall off his chair and had scared himself awake. And the heck out of me too.

'Anyway so in this realm of sacred shap s, the sequence of 3d forms evolved in its timeline until it was the great Merkabah. And then at each vertices h placed a coordinate and then told created the celestial angels to house themselves in these coordinates. They had no faces and no names ...yet..' he hiccupped then continued his ramble. 'he drew a circle around the Merkabah and then a square. Next he created a special garden outsid the square and put a tramsgender man attached to a spinning tube torus of infinite energy and then made a woman. He told them not to eat the apple but they did and now here we are stuck in a fancy chinese resteraunt. ' he flung his hands around in the air so I took his red wine from him and took a sip. I needed it.

'Its all an illusion my friend. I'm not really here. Space time does not exist. For you are the transgender Merkabah of the cosmic duality. You manifest your own reality.' he then opened his vest up to reveal a collection of pins that he started unpinning then if the night couldn't get any worse started pinning them to my dress. ' A Cosco staff name tag saying Sharon, an I love fishing pin, a large champion 2kg steak challenge winner pin and a hello kitty one.

'You now have the great seal of the light. Your the Shephard. He took out his bubble gum toy from his pocket and opened the capsule and placed the plastic kids necklace with a seal pendant on the end, took off his fishing vest and placed his very sweaty acubra onto my head.

'Now drink the blood of the Mighty Math Boss and you shall have his power and a you will sell this light with great honour as the Lady of the Seal.' he placed the glass of what was a very nice merlot and made me drink it. The whole glass.

'i'll help you get a lift home.' I said as I help the man up and took him outside towards the taxi rank with great difficulty as he swayed sideways with every step. I looked up and met eyes with a very handsome man with a sparkle in his eye, but then was dragged down to the ground as the drunken man tripped me over his feet.

'Are you ok?' The handsome guy reached out to help me up. The drunk man had absolutely vanished into thin air and there I was lying on the ground in a fishy vest covered in weird pins and an acubra.

'Are you Becky?' he said as he helped me get to my feet. 'You dropped this.' he handed me my fortune cookie. I unwrapped it and it read 'Sell the light and cease the night'.

We headed back to the table and I was still completely shocked as to what had just happened. I glanced at the man's half empty bottle of Light Celllars wine on the table.

'Fancy a glass of Merlot?' Is all I could think of to ask.

From that moment I knew that life was never going to be the same.