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The Song That Saved Me

How Music Freed Me From an Abusive Relationship

By Kelly HughesPublished 4 years ago 2 min read
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It was September 2017 and I was falling out of love. We had been dating for over two years now and I was slowly, begrudgingly coming to the realization that alcohol was more important to him that I was. How did I know? Vodka. Straight vodka 24/7. I would find the empty bottles under our bed, I'd reach for a water bottle and find vodka inside instead of water. He insisted on drinking the day of his surgery and whenever I tried encouraging him to quit, it was always my fault when he would start up again. The man I thought I knew, thought I was in love with, didn't exist. And yet I stayed. Why? Because that is the nature of abuse. He blamed me for everything that went wrong with his failed sobriety but only after two years of a loving relationship. I was brainwashed. I was being told that I was the toxic one and that I was the failure but also that he didn't want to lose me. That we could work this out and it wouldn't be like this forever because it hadn't been like this until now. Anyway, it was September and I, being a huge lovatic (Demi Lovato fan) ever since Camp Rock in 2008,

was anxiously awaiting the release of her next album, Tell Me You Love Me. After buying it right away on the 29th, the title song was what stuck with me most. I had him listen to it. His reaction? "I love you." I didn't believe him. I don't know what it was. The way he said it? How he kissed me and walked away afterwards? I don't know what reaction I was looking for, but it wasn't that. Maybe he did love me, but not more that the vodka. I'm not sure why I didn't leave then. Leaving was scary. I'd have to find a new place, be financially independent. At least by staying I had a roof over my head, I could anticipate the daily routine, I could live in denial for a little while longer. And then in December, Demi dropped the music video. If you haven't seen it, Lovato is seen standing in front of a mirror singing "everything I need is standing right in front of me" and "tell me you love me."

That hit me. Hard. I realized that I needed to love myself first and that I wasn't doing a good job at that. The emotional abuse from my boyfriend certainly wasn't helping. So I left in the middle of the night while he was at work and never saw him again, but that's a different story. It wasn't until I got some distance and did some healing that I realized the full weight of how much that song saved me. I began to recover emotionally from the damage and depression that he had caused. I have no doubt that had I stayed in that relationship, things would have ended poorly for me. So that's how a song saved me. Demi's candor through lyrics and powerful imagery in the video helped me learn to love myself first and stop putting up with emotional abuse.

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