The Role That Each of the Partners Plays in the Couple’s Relationship

In contemporary society and today's young couples, when talking about roles in a relationship, it must be borne in mind that the specialization of roles according to the gender of partners is no longer valid. Today, roles are interchangeable between partners (usually). Very few couples still practice traditional role-sharing.

In traditional society, on the other hand, roles in a relationship were clearly defined and established: women were assigned roles related to the household and everything in it, and men were assigned roles related to profession and economic activity. Thus, the woman was defined by family life, while the man by social and professional life.

The roles were clear and could not be denied: the woman took care of cleaning, washing, cooking, and raising the children, while the man had a job and financially supported the family. This situation remained unchanged until the entry of large numbers of women into the labor market and even for a long time after that.

It is still kept in some isolated rural areas, the roles being divided naturally: the woman does the activities she is good at, while the man performs those that require a lot of physical strength (working in the field, in the forest, etc.).

This delimitation has been kept clear even today (as will be seen) in terms of the roles in a relationship related to the upbringing and education of the child. The woman  - by her nature considered sensitive and emotional deals with the emotional and material side of raising children, while the man - considered tough and organized, deals with the authoritarian side in education.

Today, however, there is a decrease until the complete disappearance of this division of roles in a relationship. More and more women work nine hours a day and sometimes earn more than their partner, and more and more men take care of the household.

Gone are the days when the man who "sat in the pan" was considered a stranger, a misfit under "his wife's slipper". Today, a man who cooks often is considered attractive and desirable! The roles in a relationship related to the household have become interchangeable, depending on the time available to each partner and depending on the choices they make.

In most young couples, partners share their domestic tasks from the beginning - either after a discussion or instinctively - depending on their preferences and abilities. Certain tasks are usually assigned to a man - tasks that require force or are considered unpleasant by women: beating carpets, moving furniture, whitewashing, showering garbage.

And certain tasks fall under the woman's responsibility, as they are considered by many men "feminine": dusting, washing dishes, and laundry.

And finally, some tasks are usually divided in a more or less fair way: it is common today, in young couples in which both partners work, as roles in a relationship that can be fulfilled by both, to be assumed sometimes by one partner, sometimes by the other, depending on a program (this would include general cleaning and even cooking!).

Thus, today we are talking about gender equality within the couple: but should this be the reality? As noted above, there is still some distinction between a man's and a woman's activities.

Moreover, often those activities that could fall under the responsibility of both partners remain the responsibility of the woman. Thus, it happens that the woman faces an overwhelming accumulation of responsibilities: professional life and family life combine, leading to a saturation of the woman's tasks.

Thus, it is not possible to speak of an equitable division of roles in a relationship, often remaining in the attribution of the woman.

But a change is still noticeable, all the more important as it is a change in mentality: it is no longer considered inappropriate for a man to take care of the household, the man who cooks has gained an appreciated status, and even the man who deals mainly with raising children only gets respect.

The number of paternity leave has increased significantly, which shows that little by little, these roles will end up taking into account the distribution by sex.

The roles in a relationship become extremely clear when a child appears. There are very few couples who do not keep the traditional division: the mother deals with the emotional side of raising the child, and the father deals with the authoritarian side of education.

What has changed is the material side in raising the child: while traditionally the father brought the necessary income and the mother takes care of the practical aspects, such as feeding and caring for the child, today both the mother and the father bring the necessary income. and both are involved in the practical upbringing of the child.

Gone are the days when changing diapers was the woman's strict responsibility! Today we see proud dads feeding their baby with a bottle and walking him in the park!

But it is kept - and this for natural and especially practical reasons - the delimitation of roles in a relationship related to education: one must be "the good", the other "the bad"! Why? Because it is difficult for the person who represents authority - the one who imposes rules and limits and sets the sanctions, usually embodied by the father, to be at the same time the person who represents affection and emotion - the one who offers warmth and emotion, who comforts and caress, usually embodied by the mother.

The same person cannot and should not approach both roles, because they will not have the same solid effect. Hence the difficulty of single mothers raising their children - the authoritarian figure is missing and these children usually grow up in a far too permissive family environment, such as "laissez-faire".

In conclusion, the roles in a relationship are still divided between partners and based on gender, but there is an increased inequality between partners and increasingly equitable distribution of them. There is even talk of "masculinizing" women - who are increasingly emphasizing their professional careers, and of "feminizing" men - who are increasingly adopting traditional female roles.

But as long as this gender standardization takes place only in the field of activities performed by partners and not in their personality, there is no argument to consider this situation alarming (as some people stuck in traditional patriarchal morals try to warn).