The Pros and Cons of Marrying a Traditional Woman from Asia
To help you find the right one.
The phrase “conservative Asian woman” means two very different things depending on where you come from.
In the United States, for example, this could mean a lady of Asian heritage who leans politically conservative. Otherwise, it simply refers to a woman from an Asian country who adheres to traditional values.
But for all intents and purposes, it’s the second type of Asian woman that a lot of men are curious about dating. So what is it like to date or even marry a traditional Asian woman?
Dealing with Stereotypes
When discussing issues that involve race or gender, there will always be pushback against the use of stereotypes. The term “Asian woman” encompasses such a great spectrum of nationalities that it is almost useless as an umbrella term.
But then again, is it ever possible to do away with stereotypes when talking about certain groups of people? Stereotypes will always continue to exist because they represent commonalities among these groups. They are your first line of defense whenever discovering friends, traveling, and meeting new people. And it is by getting to know new people that we begin to unravel, rediscover, or eliminate these stereotypes. Such is the beauty of this big, big world.
The Pros of Marrying a Traditional Asian Woman
Many of our impressions about women from Asia are first gained through movies, TV shows, books, and the Internet. It is when one gets involved in a romantic relationship with one that he discovers that a lot of the good things he first saw or heard about are true. Here are a few of them:
1. Classic Femininity
Walk around almost any country in Asia, whether in China, Thailand, Japan, or the Philippines. The women there revel in their femininity, and it shows. First off, they are encouraged to dress and act feminine from a young age.
They mind their language as well, as they consciously refrain from swearing. Add to that the fact that they generally have slim or petite physical features, and you are left with a very classic feminine impression of them.
Asians are quite conscious of what others think of them. It isn’t a very Asian trait to want to stand out from the crowd, so they try to avoid controversy.
2. A Heart to Serve
Most men married to an Asian woman attest that they are such good wives to them. They cook, give them massages when they are tired, keep the house clean, and are nurturing mothers to their children.
This behavior has led to the stereotype that they are subservient. It is somewhat true, but it does not paint the right picture. These women serve their husbands and the family not because they are lower in the social hierarchy but because it is, in their hearts, the right thing to do. For them, being a good wife, a nurturing mother, and a co-leader of the family is honorable and fulfilling.
A big mistake you can make is to think that any of this means they are weak. As a matter of fact, Asian women are some of the strongest women there are, possessing a rock-solid set of values and principles that they carry throughout their lives.
3. They are Pure Souls.
Setting aside the fact that no one is perfect and that society will always have its bad elements, Asians are some of the most well-intentioned partners you can find.
When you begin dating one, you will notice that they don’t play around. They take dating as seriously as a precursor to marriage. While there are those who don’t mind casual hookups, most consider dating as testing the waters for commitment. It comes as no surprise that many Asian women hold off intimacy until marriage.
They are pragmatic and honest. You are either dating or you aren’t. If you aren’t, then quit playing with their feelings and move on. If you are, they will give that relationship their best shot. That’s how they see it.
The Cons of Marrying a Traditional Asian Woman
1. A Clash in Culture
While it isn’t a con that is exclusive to dating Asian people, the gap in cultures can be very wide, particularly if you are from a western country. If you don’t speak a common language like English well enough, you will have to learn a bit of the local language.
You also have to figure out many things when you start living together. Are you okay with not wearing shoes indoors? How about eating a lot of rice and spicy food? Asian women can be very territorial and strict with how things are done at home, so you will have to make a lot of compromises and adjustments.
2. Social Pressures
Family and society will always be important to your Asian wife. In most cases, they will have a say in your life affairs.
Many families in China, for example, may not approve of their daughter marrying a foreigner. And even if they do, her relatives may not. Therefore, if you marry an Asian, you will have to deal with a few disgruntled relatives.
These social pressures will have deeply influenced your wife as well. Many Asian women face immense pressure from their families to succeed in school and in their careers. This attitude toward perfection is a double-edged sword. You are likely to do well financially as a couple. You may also need to meet unrealistic standards as well.
But, this isn’t always the case. You can get along with your in-laws just fine. Just be aware that succession and continuity are important for Asians, whether it’s about their children or family businesses.
What Makes It All Worth It?
Once you get past the initial culture shock and adjustment phase, you will realize that the woman you marry is unique in this way — that she is the only one for you.
And the reason she interests you isn’t simply because she is Asian, but because her being Asian is part of the totality that draws you to her. You aren’t attracted to her because her attributes are novel, but because deep in your heart, it is all you ever wanted in a woman.