The Perfect Guy

"I'll have a glass of merlot," I told the waitress. God knows I needed it to calm my nerves. She stood there for a moment watching me tap my perfectly manicured nails on the table.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh yeah, totally fine," I said, giggling a little. "I'm just meeting up with my college ex... I guess kind of an ex. You know how dating in college is. I haven't seen him since we were 18!" I realized I'd overshared and cringed a little.

"Oh, well, good luck!" she said encouragingly. Her eyes crinkled over her coronavirus mask like she was probably smiling underneath it.

When Shawn walked into the bar, my heart skipped a beat. He was still handsome as hell. I could see his muscles under his fitted button-down. His hairline had started to recede but not in a bad way and the gray streaks in his hair made him look older in a sexy way.

"Maya! How are you? You look great!" He strode over to my table, taking off his mask. I stood up to hug him. He smelled like whiskey and the same cologne he used to wear in college. The scent jolted me back to freshman year, lying in bed naked with him and whispering so as not to wake his roommates. I smiled as we exchanged pleasantries and the waitress came by to get his order.

"I was surprised when you messaged me!" I said hesitantly, filling the awkward silence.

"I was surprised you were still single!" he exclaimed. "I always thought you were so pretty!"

"I'm divorced," I told him. "But thanks!"

When the waitress brought his order, he took the glass of wine and tipped it back, swallowing the whole thing in two gulps, then immediately ordered another. I stared, unsure why someone would drink a $15 glass of wine in this manor.

"It's good!" he said, seeing my puzzlement. Another awkward silence. It was good, that's why I was savoring it.

"I have to ask," I started hesitantly, "why didn't you text me after you transferred schools sophomore year? I was pretty hurt when you ghosted. I thought I was going to be your girlfriend."

Shawn stared at me for a moment, biting his bottom lip.

"You wouldn't put out," he said smugly, laughing a little like we were sharing a joke. For a minute, I wasn't sure how to respond.

"Shawn, we had sex! I lost my virginity to you! There were candles and everything!" I was incredulous. "It was pretty significant for me."

"Oh... right. I guess I met someone at my new school."

I took a sip of wine and stared him down.

"I feel like you're upset," he said at length. "Listen, I'm sorry you feel that way. I'll buy your drink to make up for it! I have a bad memory! I remember it now. You're so pretty. I'm stupid for forgetting."

I waved the waitress over to order another glass of wine. For the next half hour, he told me about his job in finance, the money he made, and his friends (who he seemed to hate.) I smiled, asked questions, and laughed on cue, but I was starting to get bored. He didn't ask about me.

"So what are your hobbies?" I asked finally.

"Well, you know," he said, "I just love learning new things."

"What have you learned recently?"

"That the earth is flat," he said without a trace of a grin.

I burst out laughing, only putting my hand up to cover my mouth when I realized he was serious.

"The earth is not flat," I said plainly like I was talking to a child.

"Yes it is!" he insisted, eyes wide. "I have a book about it! It's at my place. Want to come see it?"

I stood up, grabbed my purse off the back of my chair, and emptied the remaining contents of my glass of merlot onto his head. Then I turned and strode out of the bar, forgetting to put on my coronavirus mask until I was already outside.

As I walked to the train, disappointment made me feel sad and drained. In all my memories, Shawn had been the dream guy. When we met, he would kiss me and my stomach would drop out. He made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. Now, he just annoyed the hell out of me!

I caught of glimpse of myself in a shop window and decided I looked too good to go straight home. I headed towards a local speakeasy I'd discovered the week before.

Walking through the city buzzing from the wine, I felt a new feeling bubbling in my chest. Not regret or sadness, but something almost like pride. The woman I had become in my 20's didn't fall for guys like Shawn. Now, at 30, I wasn't easily swayed by a dumb guy who occasionally complemented me. At 30, I knew my worth.

I nabbed a table at the speakeasy and ordered another glass of wine. When I looked up from the menu, I noticed a man drinking at the bar. He was tall and thin, wearing a sweater and jeans. He smiled at the bartender when he ordered his drink. He wasn't handsome in the way Shawn was but he had a self-assuredness about him that I couldn't take my eyes off of. With my new-found confidence still rushing through me, I approached him.

"Anyone sitting here?" I pointed at the seat next to him.

We talked until last call. I told him how my white picket fence life in the suburbs had fallen apart during the quarantine. How I'd gotten divorced and how my ex and I now switched off weeks with the kids. How I'd moved to the city to start over. How I felt too young to be divorced and too old to start over. He told me how his parents had died and how alone he felt. He said he was the last of his friends who wasn't married and he worried about being the last one left in the city.

As the bar closed, we stood on the sidewalk, not wanting the night to end. I felt an electricity between us. He smiled at me and I smiled back. When we kissed, it felt like fireworks.