The One Thing I Mistrust About Meghan Markle

If you've read my other articles about Meghan Markle, you know that I am an ardent supporter of the Duchess of Sussex. I am outspoken about the abuse she has faced and critical of her haters. I believe that the "lies" she is accused of having told are nothing more than tabloid manipulation and part of the proven smear campaign against her. In short, I believe her.

But there is one thing about the Duchess that I simply cannot trust: Her smile.

Meghan appears to be happy. When she steps out in public, she flashes beautiful smiles for the cameras and carries out her duties with grace. But I can't help but wonder what kind of pain is hidden behind that joyful exterior. In the past, the Duchess has been able to present as perfectly fine while suffering silently behind closed doors. How would we know if her bright, positive demeanor is all for show?

When I see images of Meghan's hand clasped tightly in her husband's, I think back to that photo of the Duke and Duchess at the Royal Albert Hall in 2019. The picture, which Meghan's own friend complimented as a stunning shot of the couple, is something Meghan has said still "haunts" her, because it was taken on the same day she revealed to her husband the suicidal thoughts that she'd been having.

"And that picture, if you zoom in, what I see is how tightly his knuckles are gripped around mine," she told Oprah Winfrey in March of 2021. "You can see the whites of our knuckles, because we are smiling and doing our job, but we're both just trying to hold on. And every time that those lights went down in that royal box, I was just weeping, and he was gripping my hand."

When the intermission came and the lights came up, Meghan said, she'd have to be ready to face the public and be "on again."

For this reason, every time I see the Duchess' hand clutched in her husband's, my eyes immediately go to their knuckles, and I wonder if she is again holding on for support, if she's struggling to make it through whatever public event they're attending. If Meghan's own friends couldn't see past the facade, how could we?

The recent images of the Sussexes at the Salute to Freedom Gala in New York City were taken just hours after Meghan apologized to a British court for an inconsistency in her testimony against Associated Newspapers. The couple looked stunning, all smiles and laughs for the cameras. But, again, my eyes were drawn to their hands. Those knuckles looked pretty white.

I want to believe that she's happy. And I think that she is; or, at least, that she's happier than she was in the past. The Duchess addressed this question last week at The New York Times DealBook Summit, telling host Andrew Ross Sorkin that she is "feeling much better about everything."

It's wonderful to see such a bright smile on her face. She truly does look infinitely more confident and at ease than she ever did overseas.

But I worry that the vibrant woman we see in the press is still suffering. I worry that she still feels the weight of the drama that has plagued her marriage; that, even thousands of miles away, she feels inescapably hounded by the British press; that she carries some degree of guilt for the eroding relationship between her husband and his family. (She shouldn't.)

I fear that, although the Duchess says she has learned to avoid social media, this harassment still finds its way to her. I worry about her mental health, certain that her heart is still heavy with the knowledge that millions of people around the world have been led to believe that she is irredeemably evil. The constant threats and harassment to which she is subjected must make her fear for the safety of her children.

I hope that the Sussexes can find peace in their new home. I pray that their beautiful family is able to move on from the torment of the past several years and enjoy their life together. And I hope that someday I will be able to trust Meghan's smiles and know with certainty that her happiness is genuine.

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