The Note

I rushed home from school, unlocked the door, and searched the whole house. Good, she’s gone, as I saw my mother hadn’t arrived home yet from work. That meant I had an hour to get this done before she arrived. I was about to surprise her with one of the biggest surprises of her life, but I didn’t want to just give it away so easy. I wanted the surprise to marinate, for her to look for it if you will. After all this was going to be the biggest day that will affect us both in many profound ways.

I am writing this, not as a goodbye, but a see you later. Mom, I love you.

But how to continue writing this to make the biggest impact on what has happened in my life, and not to put blame on anyone person or thing, but a multitude of events that have culminated into this event taking place on this day, at this very moment, I continue.

I am only fifteen years old, but the weight of the world is bearing down on my shoulders. I feel there is ultimately no way around this crazy place anymore. The lions’ words sting with each bite it takes of my flesh breaking down each stone I have built around me throughout my life.

Writing. Erasing. Writing. Erasing. This continues for about 15 minutes when I realize that I only have 45 minutes until my mother arrives home. I must rush, which isn’t how I had imagined this moment occurring, but no one ever really imagines this moment at all in their life. Moments like these are like files on floppy disks, stored away in some attic far away collecting dust, because the very thought is dark, like vampires in Transylvania.

Please don’t get angry or upset. I really hope I don’t offend, but the lion’s have gotten to me finally. The stones are no more, and all that’s left of me is skin. Like the leftovers of a carcass in the desert. The vultures have arrived to eat every bit of meat from my body, and all that remains these days is a bit of meat, and the rest, just bones.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. I can hear the clock ticking in the background, subtly at first, then more annoying as the time is wearing shorter. I only have 30 minutes left. 30 minutes before she arrives, and if I don’t get this done now, the surprise will have to wait for another day. But what other days are there? This day was special. This was the first day of the Vernal Equinox, and every year since I was five, we have gone to the Vernal Equinox Festival in our town. Today she wouldn’t delay getting home because of that very reason.

So, mom, I love you. Give Bryan a kiss on his muzzle, and I hope he returns the favor by licking the tears from your face. Forever in your heart—Aiden.

God does the clock ever just stop for one moment. Just for that one moment you want to be very special. God. Please stop the ticking of the clock. I only have 15 minutes now.

I write a quick note and place it on the mantle in the front entryway. She’ll be sure to see it here. I then go to my room and close the door. I pack my backpack, my black suit and tie with a white dress shirt, D&G, a special suit my mom bought for me for grandpa’s funeral. It means a lot to her me wearing it. This is a very special occasion, so wearing this will mean everything to her. I then put the glossy black shoes inside my backpack. So shiny they are like mirrors. I then leave one last note on my bed,

Mom- Sorry I couldn’t stay.

Had to go

We will meet another day.

Love,

Aiden.

I leave it on my bed for her to see. I then go lie down on my bed, on top of my fresh pressed white bed sheets. Surrounded by these lonesome white walls, with a single window that overlooks houses upon houses of suburban life. No wonder it has come to this.

I then reach under my mattress because I know my mom would check my drawers. I leave everything there, my journal, and some money I was saving for a bus fare to leave when I had enough of this suburban life. But busses are no place for a naïve kid like me. So, I went with the box cutter that my mom had bought for opening all those packages online. I take it and open it. I poke my index finger with it, the prick stings, but no time to look back now. The blood dribbles down my index finger to my white bed sheets, and there’s a little dot of blood.

10 minutes, 10 minutes is all I have. This must hurry. I jab it into my left wrist and pull it down towards my elbow. Blood gushing, tendons snapping is the last I can see or remember.

“AIDEN! AIDEN! WAKE UP!” Mom yells. “GOD WAKE AIDEN UP!” She continues.

At this time, I come to. Wondering what in the hell just happened.

“Wha-, Wha-, What happened mom?” I ask.

“GOD AIDEN! THANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE!” Mom replies Excitedly. “Life is too short for this.”

Mom embraces me in a hug, I lift my bloody, heavy arm and hug her back. On the back of her blouse, I leave my bloody handprint. She looks back at it, looks back at me, a tear running down her cheek. We begin to sob uncontrollably, as the sound of an ambulance is heard wailing in the distance.

END