The Next Chapter

She could still feel it. The words, a gut punch still gasping for breath. “I think we should break up.” “I’m going to to need you to move out.” Her mind still tried to wrap around the words spinning in her brain. Bursting out the building doors, feet swerving at the ground she turned left up the sidewalk, barely viewing the people she passed. Were there tears streaming down her face? Was she audibly sobbing? She honestly couldn’t tell, and for a brief moment she wished she had brought sunglasses as cover, despite the weather. But the thought dissipated as fast as it came.

It had been some time since the news had been forced upon her, and all forms of screaming “you can’t kick me out of my own home” seemed to fall on deaf years, and quite frankly, she knew she wouldn’t win. He was too powerful. Their home had been her sole place of safety and respite and, now it was as hostile and heavy as the base of a waterfall. “I need you to leave” raced through her thoughts. “What do I do?” became vines contorting around her core, tightening around her breath. She barely had enough to get by as it was, and options felt like impossible visions. All 7 stages of grief filled her at once as she walked faster and further onward until there was no one around and she wasn’t sure she knew where she was.

She couldn’t feel the bitterness of the grey weather, her numbness came from deep within. A soul wavering in the wind. And then…. it came. The 4:45 bus. And for a brief moment it all left her body. Empty, and without thought she slowly stepped off the sidewalk. “Whoa!” “Look out there!” Broken from the trance she whirled around to an older man with a concerned (and slightly taken aback) look, pulling her back by the shoulder. “Didn’t you see the bus, miss”? She couldn’t control a gasp. “Sorry…thank you” she said in rushed words and and hurried away. Now on top of it all she was embarrassed. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a small walking trail and darted towards it. Best to stay away from busy streets.

Somehow the trees were almost welcoming here, an interlude from the open and harsh main roads. Hunched over, and still facing the ground as she walked, she glanced upon a piece of black plastic near a snow bud attempting to survive. She sighed, and decided to retrieve the wanton piece of takeout trash. But when she picked it up she realized it wasn’t a bowl, but a book! A small black book bound in leather, with a padded envelope in the middle, bursting with a thin elastic strap. Curious, she opened it to the envelope to see the words, “Thank You For Living…”. She took in a sharp breath at the words, the moments before still fresh on her shoulders. Checking the surroundings first, she carefully opened the envelope, and peaked inside to see stacks of fresh $100 bills. She could swear Benjamin Franklin was staring at her. Panic struck as she looked around again to make sure she was truly alone, and pulled out the delicate note attached.

“Sometimes life seems hopeless and all we need is a miracle. Thank you for holding on for your miracle.”

She couldn’t believe her eyes as she tried to count… there must have been almost $20,000 in her hands. Fresh, crisp and neatly banded together. She had never had that much to her name before in her life…. And now… and now she could start a new life. A new chapter, a fresh page. Founded on strong roots.

This must be what the American Dream feels like she thought… freedom, in all forms of the word. For the first time in a long time, something lifted. The vines twisting around her core started to loosen like buds turning to the sun. She had inhaled, a cacophony of painful thoughts and emotions. And exhaled… peace.