The Need to Be Seen and Heard

It is undeniable that we all want to be listened to when we are speaking. Otherwise, what would be the point of a conversation? The same goes for a relationship (platonic or romantic) we don’t want to feel as though our concerns are falling on deaf ears and not being taken seriously. Otherwise, what would be the point of being vulnerable with someone?

The need to feel seen and heard by those around us is normal human nature, we want to feel understood especially as we are social creatures. In fact, the purpose of my writing is to find relatability, people who understand my thoughts. I am demonstrating the need to be seen and heard; in the same way that any other form of media such as a podcast or a post on social media has an aim of being seen and appreciated.

This need is a two way street in my opinion. Once you gain a friend that makes you feel seen and heard you will naturally reciprocate that action for them as they have done for you. This is not a transactional relationship though, I believe it’s more natural than that. There is no expectation to validate your friend’s emotions or listen to them, it simply happens due to the depth in which you understand said friend and other external factors such as relationship dynamic and character that create this unspoken rule.

To be loved is to be seen. The understanding of the beautiful souls around you further proves this desire to be seen. This includes noticing the little things about someone that isn't such a surface level feature and prehaps complimenting what you noticed or maybe you're good at picking up on your friend's body language so you notice your cue to rescue them from an awkward conversation. Other little things include, your favourite song you may have mentioned in passing to a loved one may now be in their playlist, and when it comes on they are transported to a fond memory and it reminds them of you. In my personal experience, little things like how I roll up pancakes after putting Nutella on them comes from being taught this by a close friend, now it's a habit that never fails to make me smile or remind me of them. Buying a small gift on holiday for a loved one back home just because it ‘reminded me of you’; are examples of the idea that to be loved is to be seen. It brings a certain feeling of not just understanding but also appreciation from those around you.

This week I encourage you to reflect on how you can make those around you feel seen and heard; maybe you could offer your time to a friend who is struggling right now or maybe you could take a family member their favourite flowers next time you visit. These simple acts of kindness will not only be passed onto the next person but they will eventually find their way back to you, multiplied.

Thought points:

• When was the last time you did a good deed?

• You are always choosing how you experience life. Every moment, you decide between fear and love, illusion and truth. Your experiences are the result of what you have chosen to believe. -azaela (on youtube)

• Your frequency is what you frequently see.

Remember to show yourself some love this week!

Originally published on Medium:

This is a repost with permission from the original author (me).