The Modern-Day Meet Cute

I make no secret of the fact that I'm a bit of a cynic when it comes to the "true love fairytale". Sure, it's out there. But I think it's the exception rather than the rule. That doesn't mean I'm not a sucker for a good love story that gives you the warm and fuzzies, though. I mean, I'm still human. Given a choice for my reading time, I will almost always opt for a romance novel over any other genre. 

I've been fed this narrative for as long as I can remember. From my parents own fairytale love story back to the generations before. 

My great-grandparents were the Great Depression-WW2-surviving against all odds-romance that you read about. I remember reading handwritten love letters from a handsome, charming, witty wordsmith to a petite, beautiful, stubborn lass and dreaming of the day my turn would come when I would get to experience that kind of romance. I didn't need Noah, Allie or their infamous Notebook. I had a real-life example. 

I would listen intently as my grandparents told stories of their own intense, young love. An out-of-wedlock pregnancy, a shotgun wedding, years of hard work, struggle and adversity only to watch them gaze at each other with the complete adoration of young lovers as my grandfather took his last breaths in the world.

I'd ask my parents over and over to hear their story. Imagining a time when they were still kids, really. Before they were Mum and Dad. When on one fateful night, they happened upon each other at a local club where my Mum was boldly attending underage. My Dad "stepped on her foot, spun around to catch her and the minute their eyes locked they knew, this was it".

Now, at 30 years old, with a family of my own, I often think about the day my daughter will inevitably ask for mine and her dad's story.

How exactly would that go?

Would I stare wistfully into the distance while recounting what most would classify as a modern-day meet cute? - "Well, Sweetheart, it all started when Daddy slid into Mummy's Facebook DM's back in 2011…."

The reality is, this is how it's going to look for a lot of the kids in her generation (not all, there'll always be exceptions). I can see it now - "Facebook? Geez, you guys are OLD! Sally down the road's Mum and Dad met on Tinder!"

I almost feel like we were lucky to be in the category to find each other before "swiping right" was a thing. We are the traditionalists of the modern way of meeting people, which seems like a total oxymoron.

"Yes, Sweetheart, times were different back then. We used to have to message back and forth for months before we knew we liked each other! There was so much mystery. Were we just friends? Were we more? Were we juggling multiple conversations with other potential suitors in the background? Who knows!"

Don't get me wrong. I think it's a perfectly legitimate way to meet (obviously, I married the guy), especially in this day and age. It just makes for a pretty lacklustre story. And don't even get me started on how I plan to navigate educating her around the perils of talking to strangers on the internet while justifying that it was a perfectly acceptable way for me to meet her Dad.

I also look back at how instantly gratifying the whole process is these days with envy around what the term "absence makes the heart grow fonder" really means. You can access each other at the touch of a button. You text all day and all night, or snap, DM etc.… There's no anticipation of sitting by the home phone waiting for their call, let alone waiting days, weeks or even months for their next letter to arrive. Plus, there is the ever-present and accessible pool of alternatives that can be all too alluring for some, even in the most committed relationships.

Considering I'm romanticising the past and some extremely difficult circumstances that accompanied these stories, this is very 'first world problems' of me. But I can't help it. There is something enviable there. 

And the irony of it all is, as much as I'm a cynic. I want her to hear the stories. I don't want to deny her the chance of falling in love with the idea of love as much as I did. Even if it means her heart gets broken a little more easily.

Sure, I'll make sure she sees the real-life side of things, that it's not all sunshine and rainbows. But I'd love to see her grow up to be the exception because she had an open heart and mind and didn't narrow her options down to who is available online when she enters the dating pool. There's nothing wrong with wanting more effort than a mutual "swipe right" to determine that the courtship has begun. 

Anyway, if you need me, I'll be diving head-first into the first mushy romance novel I can get my hands on while my icy, cynical heart thaws a little with the hope that one day we might lose our obsession with having everything available at the touch of a button, and instead return to the pursuit of romance, even if true love isn't always a fairytale.