The Last Back-To-School Night

Truly this all felt surreal. Jade stood in the doorway of Mr. Lasso’s room in awe of the fact that all four of her children enjoyed this man and his classes for their High School years, and this was the final time she would sit through a back-to-school night. There was an immense relief, there was always a love for these nights since she herself was a student in this school district and a lot of the teachers remained the same. When her husband Peter died, it took some of the fun out of walking down memory lane. Jade and Peter Stallmen were a pair since they were 12 years old. They graduated from this high school and immediately married subsequently starting their family. At nineteen they became parents, two boys back to back and then three years after that twin girls. She became a widow at 37, when her oldest was graduating high school and now at 42 her youngest two were on their way. She took her seat, being the first one there, as always, and gazed around the room. Mr. Lasso was never her teacher. He started to work in the high school when her and Peter were seniors. He taught in the sciences and was an absolute favorite of his students. Jade detested the sciences and made sure she didn’t have to take one science credit her senior year, they've been meeting at these back-to-school nights and he is always so kind. Mr. Lasso never treated her as a subject of gossip or met her with sympathetic smiles like the parents of her kid’s peers did. She was happy knowing that that part of this chapter will be over for good after tonight.

Truthfully Jade never really thought of dating. The grief counselors she saw told her that one day she may find herself interested in trying to date but she didn’t believe it. For a woman with four kids in her forties Jade carried herself well, she took care of her body but was also aware that it’s a body that someone you grew old with could appreciate and not necessarily someone new. There was one date in spite of her disbelief about a year and a half ago. She met James at the DMV of all places. The date was clumsy and adorable but just wasn’t right. James was perfectly handsome, he just didn’t get her humor and she did not find him all that interesting. Charmingly when the date ended they both expressed they wanted it to go better, he kissed her on the cheek and called her beautiful to which Jade replied ‘Aw shucks James, we will never see each other again” he gave out a whooping laugh as she walked into her house. A rush of emotions surfaced, shame because he wasn’t Peter but also a surge of confidence that a man she hadn’t grown up with found her attractive. I guess there was hopefulness in dating - especially since her kids approved. The four of them were tight, Peter would be immensely proud of them and how they banded together to take care of each other and encouraged her to heal. Without them and their resilience Jade doesn’t know how she would have survived widowhood. She decided to tread lightly about dating going forward, because whoever she met had to share space with a dead guy, and that’s a lot to ask.

Within a few moments the classroom filled up with the parents Jade recognized through the years. Matt Gomez sat next to her and gave her a high five, this was his last back to school night also. His wife was home, he took the last round since he was overseas during the younger years. The Gomez’s were a nice family, threw great backyard BBQs and always included Jade even after Peter passed away. She was grateful for them. Mr. Lasso entered the room and with his charismatic style laid out the syllabus for the year. It seemed fine enough and Jade let her mind wander because well, science was boring to her. She made herself chuckle and didn’t hide it in real life, which is when Mr. Lasso called on her. Blushing, Jade responded “Well I’m sorry to tell you Mr. Lasso but I was straight up not paying attention.” Smiling back he said “Jade you have been coming into my classroom for YEARS now, please call me Seth.” She really laughed now, called him Science Man Seth and the rest of the classroom joined into their glee. The period wrapped and as Jade was exiting Seth called after her. She turned on her heels to find him standing behind his desk with a smile on his face

“Jade, I want to take you to dinner.”

Just as surprised as she was when he called on her, her face flushed, but not in a bad way. “Well okay.” was all she could come up with. Jade was a terrible flirt, and was only witty when she felt like she had the upper hand. He brightened up and said “I have off starting tomorrow and was hoping I could take you out then.”

Straighening up in her stance and smoothing her jeans, Jade gave a staccado reply, “The girls are going to my Mother’s in the city until Monday. They left this afternoon. Tomorrow is perfect.” Realizing she didn’t have to explain her whole situation she continued, “What should I wear to this dinner?”

Pausing Seth looked down, and replied with a sly look “Something little, and something black." immediately he looked right back up at her.

Now Jade really blushed. She may be terrible at the cute back and forth but he sure wasn’t. “Does 7 work for you?”

“Only if you follow the dress code.” he stated, firmly.

“Noted” she smirked and walked away only to look back to see him grinning.

Getting ready the following evening Jade felt like she was a teenager. She had all of her clothes out on her bed and just couldn’t decide which dress to go with. The one she was drawn to she wore when she was 25, and didn’t know if it was too short to be worn at her age now. It did make her feel good, it was little, it was black, so it won over the noise in her head. Playing music she danced around as she did her makeup and zipped herself up. The house was empty and there was a weird pause when she accepted that this was something she was excited about, and let go of any of the guilt she may have felt facing this. Being a woman in widowhood was living with a delicate parallel that didn’t seem to have any concrete rules. Jade felt obligated to face those feelings in this moment since this was all new to her. There are so many opinions about what you should and shouldn't do, how you should or shouldn't feel, but nobody else was her. Nobody else had to say goodbye to Peter. Inside of that pause she decided that she would let things go in their own time, but to step into tonight without that baggage. The headlight’s of Seth’s car were in her driveway and immediately there were butterflies fluttering in her stomach. It was so old fashioned that he was driving her, and she liked that. At the door Seth smiled at her. With a slow, exaggerated spin Jade asked if her outfit made the cut.

“Oh, it sure does m’lady.”

Seth extended his hand to her and they left her doorstep and entered his car. A figurative weight left Jade’s shoulders as she let this man make her giggle and they argued about music on the way to the restaurant. As they arrived Jade couldn’t hold back the knowledge she had of the chef of the place he chose and how she always wanted to try it. Seth Lasso was beaming that he impressed her and Jade felt so comfortable with a man who wasn’t treating her with pity. She may not know his entire story, but this was the first date, she just wanted to be admired and she just wanted to eat, and Seth set a really good stage for that.

As they were lead to their table, Seth draped his arm across Jade's shoulders as she was sitting and she got goosebumps. Inwardly embarrassed by her girlishness she reminded herself that it was ok and looked at this man who had taken an interest in her. The wine list was given, and Jade blurted out that if she were to drink, she likes something full bodied. Preferring bourbon to vodka Jade never fit in with the party girls, but did with Peter. A pang went off inside her making that connection and Seth ordered her a glass of Merlot. Snapping back into the moment Jade approved of his choice “Merlot is actually perfect, all the flavor without the bitterness.” Seth proudly joked that it was a shot in the dark but Jade knew he was just as nervous as she was. The wine was brought to them as they browsed the menu. The immediate sweetness Jade tasted on her lips at the first sip of Seth’s choice was comforting, a narrative that was truly carrying through their evening thus far. Resting her hand on the table he reached over and touched the top of hers and their eyes meet again.

“I really want you to know, that you saying yes, made me feel something I haven't felt in a long time Jade, even if this is our only date, I am so glad we got a first one”

Jade kept her eyes on him as she took another sip of wine. She studied his face, and how she affectionately wanted to know more about him. She felt a part of herself open up that she didn’t even know was there - because there were promises and plans that she had to bury with her late husband that were hard not to think about. Here in this moment the past really felt like it was separate from her present and the chemistry she was noticing between them was undeniable. Putting her glass of Merlot down she tilted her chin up and sat back, with a smile she asked Science Man Seth to tell her more about himself, to which he obliged. Jade knew that there would be more dates, Seth probably did also. This first date was special, and she was going to savor every last drop of it.