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The Kind of Man I Waited For

by Caitlin Fladager 2 months ago in love
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Silence, not flowers.

Growing up I was always told the same few things about marriage.

“Wait for the man who brings home flowers to you!”

“Wait for the man who always holds the door open for you.”

“Wait for the man who buys you jewelry just because!”

I was never told to wait for the man who did things for me in silence. The things that almost go unnoticed because they weren’t flashy, expensive, or done in front of others.

I had a bad anxiety attack this morning. Luckily, it just so happened to be on a day when my husband was home from work.

It started like it always does.

The heavy breathing.

The feeling of not being able to escape.

The sweaty hands.

The turning stomach.

My husband noticed and grabbed my hand as we were driving home.

I focused on the feeling of the wind.

The smell of the freshly cut grass.

The leather seat that my sweaty hands were touching.

“Just breathe, babe..” he says, as he can clearly see I’m struggling to get air into my lungs.

As we approach our house, I feel a small sense of relief wash over me.

I always feel safer at my home.

But I am not ready to get out of the car yet.

I don’t want to move.

I need a moment to relax and get my breathing back in order.

Without saying anything, my husband opens his phone, pulls up a YouTube video, grabs my hand, and just sits there with me.

In silence.

We sat there for about twenty minutes until he let go of my hand and said, “Are you ready to go inside now?”

He knew exactly what I needed in that moment.

To just sit, and to just be.

In that moment, I thought back to when I was always told to wait for the man who would bring me flowers, hold the door open, and all of those other typical things.

But the man I am so grateful I waited for, is the man who does things in silence. He does things that I need, that always win me over. He lets me be me, and doesn't try to fix me.

The man who sits with me in a hot car, not uttering a single word, waiting for me to catch my breath.

The man who sits with me in silence, while I go through the trenches of my deep seated anxiety.

Because you see, my husband isn’t one to bring me flowers often.

He isn’t one to buy me jewelry randomly.

But he is one to sit with me in my lowest moment, and simply just be there with me.

And I think that that right there, that is something really worth waiting for.


About the author

Caitlin Fladager

Mother | Wife | Mental Health Advocate

Telling my "Reel" truth about marriage & motherhood on Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok & Vocal

Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

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Comments (11)

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  • Joan Gershman2 months ago

    This brought tears to my eyes. It is so true. It reminded me of the husband I was blessed to have for 45 years. It's been 7 years since he died, and I miss him every single day. Treasure every minute you have together.

  • Simply beautiful and so very true..

  • #KristinaWrites2 months ago

    Very true. I suffer from anxiety too and to have a partner that knows you so well as your husband obviously does is truly a gift… #KristinaWrites

  • Amy Liou2 months ago

    I just shared your story in a Facebook group because it really resonated with me! I don't think you're in the group though, so I couldn't tag you.

  • I agree with this article. Of course for a man to give a woman a gift is fine, but he should do so out of real true love. He should not do that just to show off.

  • Erica2 months ago

    Beautifully written, I love the fact that I was able to picture the situation in my head and feel how you were feeling at that moment. Well done!

  • Corinne Jenkins2 months ago

    Beautifully written xx

  • I love how you bring to light the fact that young ladies are often just given trite advice about what characteristics to look for in a husband, versus advice based on the characteristics that will help promote a relationship of harmony and respect.

  • Gabrielle Moseley2 months ago

    Beautifully written xx

  • Tracy Willis2 months ago

    Your writing is so beautiful and honest. Thank you for reminding us to be grateful for those that are most important to us.

  • Love this my friend. So true. x

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