The Kind of Man I Waited For
Silence, not flowers.
Growing up I was always told the same few things about marriage.
“Wait for the man who brings home flowers to you!”
“Wait for the man who always holds the door open for you.”
“Wait for the man who buys you jewelry just because!”
I was never told to wait for the man who did things for me in silence. The things that almost go unnoticed because they weren’t flashy, expensive, or done in front of others.
I had a bad anxiety attack this morning. Luckily, it just so happened to be on a day when my husband was home from work.
It started like it always does.
The heavy breathing.
The feeling of not being able to escape.
The sweaty hands.
The turning stomach.
My husband noticed and grabbed my hand as we were driving home.
I focused on the feeling of the wind.
The smell of the freshly cut grass.
The leather seat that my sweaty hands were touching.
“Just breathe, babe..” he says, as he can clearly see I’m struggling to get air into my lungs.
As we approach our house, I feel a small sense of relief wash over me.
I always feel safer at my home.
But I am not ready to get out of the car yet.
I don’t want to move.
I need a moment to relax and get my breathing back in order.
Without saying anything, my husband opens his phone, pulls up a YouTube video, grabs my hand, and just sits there with me.
In silence.
We sat there for about twenty minutes until he let go of my hand and said, “Are you ready to go inside now?”
He knew exactly what I needed in that moment.
To just sit, and to just be.
In that moment, I thought back to when I was always told to wait for the man who would bring me flowers, hold the door open, and all of those other typical things.
But the man I am so grateful I waited for, is the man who does things in silence. He does things that I need, that always win me over. He lets me be me, and doesn't try to fix me.
The man who sits with me in a hot car, not uttering a single word, waiting for me to catch my breath.
The man who sits with me in silence, while I go through the trenches of my deep seated anxiety.
Because you see, my husband isn’t one to bring me flowers often.
He isn’t one to buy me jewelry randomly.
But he is one to sit with me in my lowest moment, and simply just be there with me.
And I think that that right there, that is something really worth waiting for.
About the Creator
Caitlin Fladager
Mother | Wife | Mental Health Advocate
Telling my "Reel" truth about marriage & motherhood on Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok & Vocal
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Comments (1)
I love this story. I’ve experienced my own version where I’d gone with my boyfriend to visit relatives. He read me and knew when I was starting to feel anxiety set in and took measures for us to leave. Having someone who cares beyond what they can show off to people, and being there when you’re having a moment where you need grounding, is so valuable.