The ‘I Want You Because You Don’t Want Me’ Syndrome in a Relationship

Are you looking for validation in the relationship? Do you cut yourself off from underfoot in relationships?

How is it that even though your partner treats you badly, you feel rejected by him, he plays face to face in a relationship? For you, it's the other way around you want him even more, you get stuck and almost obsessively fixed on this person ?!

You become convinced that you are in love, and you repeatedly try to confirm and prove that you deserve the affection and love from him.

"I want you because you don't want me" syndrome.

It is often difficult to recognize that the reason why a person is not interested has nothing to do with you. It is easier to internalize rejection and conclude that you are not good enough for them and that they are no longer interested.

When this happens, your interest turns into an obsession, and all efforts are channeled into actions so that he can observe you.

How come you don't think, "How beneficial is this situation to me?" Or "How happy is this man in this relationship?" You focus only on the fact that he doesn't want you, although you should focus on why you want him because, first and foremost, a healthy relationship is one in which both partners want to be in it.

It's the 'I want you because you don't want me' syndrome.

When you expect others to show you your worth, you are always disappointed. First of all, because it's not someone else's business to give you self-esteem - that's your job.

Second, people are quite self-centered and self-centered and care little about how you feel about yourself - treating yourself like a reward is just a stimulus to the ego-His.

When your self-esteem is low, you are so used to your negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself that you are more or less consciously looking for people and situations to confirm your thoughts and beliefs. He is the demon you know and feels at home.

You have become accustomed to the fact that love means pain, and what you call love is a journey to seek validation and someone to show you how much you are worth. Sad? Wait, I'm not done!

Suppose miraculously, someone with a healthy attachment appears, interested in you and willing to give you the relationship you claim you want. In that case, you will run away eating the earth because it is against everything you think unconscious about you and is uncomfortable.

The problem is that when someone is not determined about you, it is a price to pay. You sacrifice your self-esteem when you stand and try to convince him that you are good enough for him.

The fact that you have reached this stage says that you have low self-esteem. Otherwise, you invited him out of your life a long time ago.

When you engage with a 'spectator' or continue a relationship with someone who treats you poorly, you will find that he always finds another obstacle, another reason for not giving you the relationship you want.

During this time, you pay dearly and continue to confirm that you are not good enough. You end up feeling like you're just the option for rainy days.

This dynamic becomes an endless cycle, and you can fly from relationship to relationship. You remain stuck to the same situation, with the same 'character' next to you, only that he has a different face when you realize that only you determine your worth, that you deserve more than crumbs of attention, and that others will follow in your footsteps when you treat yourself with love and respect.

You teach others how to behave with you. Stop looking for validation and reports from unavailable sources. It's like looking for cakes at the tool shop; you can expect a lot and well!

Emotional prostitution for approval?

These 'characters' you have the compassion of rock and live on the island of ME-ME-ME; some cannot even see beyond the tip of their nose and have zero understanding and interest in what you are talking about. They have a very limited real interest in you no matter what they say.

Everything revolves around their needs, their desires, and their expectations - what YOU need, YOU want, or expect is not part of the equation.

I know, it's hard to hear that. If he is not in a relationship and you are, if you continue to invest and he is not, the only thing he will validate is the chapter of negative beliefs about you. You are looking for validation from someone who, by nature, invalidates you through his actions and the type of relationship you have.

The easiest paradox to describe is the dynamic description: You are actively looking for it and experiencing the relationship that you say you do not want. You invest emotionally in relationships you don't want.

You want him, but not in the 'package' he came in. It only takes a few small changes. Many of your contradictions come from not acting. When you realize that your interest is not the same as his, you still commit to the idea of a relationship and feel rejected, living in a fantasy.

Drama is not love. Suffering is not love. Drama is drama. Suffering is suffering.