The Hardest Lesson Entrepreneurship Ever Taught Me

To other individuals, entrepreneurship has usually been seen as a thrilling and breath-taking experience; a road to success and liberation. Not so for me, as this experience took a far more sophisticated dimension, intermingling passion, sacrifice, failure and lessons for life, among many others. For the sake of clarity, I lost some dreams. It likely doesn't recall anymore by some and others simply just do not, but I am a co-founder of the clothing and concept line that the slogan was: Do not compare yourself to others because you are unique. Although I did not stay in the spotlight, I do remember like it was yesterday where and how the thought to open this concept occurred to me. I would like to clear the air that as we were a team, then indeed it is "we" and not "I". Why alter the story? In order to make my ex-partner understand entrepreneurship, we started a concept where we discussed taboo topics. We had set up a specialized podcast area in my flat. Her strength lies in her communication skills. She speaks genuinely and puts across her experience without shame. Eventually, we were not successful with this concept and I had expected that. The lesson was therefore to remember the steps learned such as creating a website, making web pages, adding an online payment system, etc. With enthusiast, I accompanied her and shared my knowledge with her. Then implement these steps by improving and applying them for another attempt or idea. The plan is to get up and start anew. As I always do say: keep and try. In any event, I will leave the rest of the story to your imagination. My entrepreneurial experience with my former partner was that in co-venture, the line between personal and professional is extremely thin. What begins as a shared dream sooner or later produces tensions, mistakes but quite unexpectedly, also personal growth. When my former business partner and I brought this concept (second time around), we talked about our shared vision: to create a clothing brand with good and positive values. The idea was simple to get: to create and preserve a community and wear comfortable clothes for all. You've probably already heard the term Body Positive. We were then a couple, in love, with the same passion to be entrepreneurs and grow our brand. We naturally divided the work: she did the creation, image, collections and social media, while I did logistics, billing, customer service and day-to-day couple maintenance: rent, which I paid for, etc. We did the best. I knew that if the project was to be successful, I would have to do another job too to keep us going. So there was no pressure whatsoever. But I accepted all this on behalf of us because I really believed that love and shared ambition could overcome any obstacle. And we had a verbal understanding. I believed at the time that if the business did work, then everything else would sort itself out: our relationship, our happiness, our future and our aspirations. Among the most common traps in such a dynamic is the conflation of business success with relationship success. Reflecting that all would be well through professional success, we had disregarded the emotional aspect of our relationship. I was constantly under stress, pushed between three tasks: keeping the business going, nurturing our relationship, and committed to my side gig. This triple pressure gradually widened my gap. This is a big mistake many business-owning couples make: assuming that a business can be a "cure" for relationship issues. Unless both of them continue to talk about their needs, frustrations, and expectations, the gap then widens. Or even if only one of the two partners doesn't hear, listen, and understand. This is what happened to me. We began to drift apart, to not know each other anymore. Instead of supporting each other throughout our ordeal, we began allowing them to creep into our daily routines. The relationship was slowly crumbling, but surely. We would wake up each morning and inquire: Did you send the replies to the emails? Did you make the call to the supplier? What's new for tomorrow? Etc. Despite this, I persisted. Perhaps due to love, perhaps due to hope, but that also due to exhaustion, I continued to push the business forward while trying to save our relationship. Where I made a giant mistake was in handling the legal formation of the company. Under pressure, exhausted, and bombarded by my numerous obligations, I messed up the division of the company shares. We had no written contract and an oral agreement to finalize our personal commitments. It was a choice that turned out to be fatal. The lack of a rigid legal framework left space for problems I had not anticipated. When the collapse happened, it wasn't just a romantic collapse but also a professional one. I was in the situation where the business that I had put my hands into was being let go. I was in the situation where I had to leap off the boat with my mere shares of the company. The icing on the cake was that my former business partner offered me a chance to collaborate with her and her new partner to continue developing the brand. Frankly, who would have taken it? It was a backstab. Not only did I lose my co-founder in one night, but also my place in the company. The hardest to accept was the feelineayal. I had given everything that I possessed — my energy, my love, and my resources — to this venture, without any protection from myself. But I had no idea that, in business, things are fragile. A business is not established by ideas and hard work alone, but also by solid foundations and signed, clean papers. Anything can go wrong in entrepreneurship. Something that is a shared idea and vision can turn into a source of conflict very soon if they are not preceded by clear structures, open communication and respect for every partner's emotional needs. Passion should never blind you from making decisions. It must be ensured that the legal and financial structures are clear-cut. It is only a matter of time before each decision's impact on the business is compared with its impact on the relationship itself. It was great that our business was working, but it was the relationship that slowly crumbled. The pressure of managing everything, of keeping the dream alive, of trying to balance my professional and personal life, was taking its toll on me. When the moment came to divide the company shares, I knew exactly what 15% represented. It wasn’t a small decision, but I was in such a fragile state, emotionally drained from the weight of the relationship and the business, that I couldn’t think clearly. I signed the papers, not fully understanding the gravity of what I was doing, believing at that moment that it was just one more detail to handle. I thought that as long as the business was moving forward, everything else would fall into place. I believed in us, in our love, in our words, in the promises we made to each other. But none of that held up when it truly mattered. The business may have been functioning, but I was losing everything that truly mattered to me. The brand is still working today, and I am really still proud of it, but I am no longer riding for the team. What we built together is now in someone else's hands. But I do not consider all that a failure. Entrepreneurship is, above all, a story of human beings, trust and mutually agreed boundaries. What I learned, beyond money, is that entrepreneurship is not just about financial gain. Money, although central to the dynamics of a business, is only a tool. What this experience showed me is that, despite everything, there is something much deeper to be learned from this journey: resilience. I learned that even in defeat, even in times when everything seems to be falling apart, it is possible to remain true to yourself. To my values, to my vision, to what I believe deep down. No matter the adversity — it has shaped me and strengthened me. This ordeal, although painful, has not destroyed who I am. It has revealed my ability to bounce back. What I also realized is that I'm not closed to the idea of doing business with friends or family again. The problem isn't in partnering, but in how you prepare for these partnerships. I should have asked fewer questions, taken a step back and let go. My tendency to want to control everything, to analyze everything, played tricks on me. Emotions, however strong and legitimate they may be, can sincerely hinder decision-making. Even when I was aware of all this, they took over my choices. Business and relationships must be in a delicate balance. Mistakes cost money, but they are also learning experiences and never making the same mistakes over and over again. Humans in relationships and in businesses.

It is with immense depth and kindness that I choose to share this — without malice. I'm glad that this concept can grow every day. It was my baby.