The Great Ursus of Life

Stories grow to the ends of the earth and sea.

Including you and your hometown.

Don't mention Lijiang and say "encounter".

Don't mention Lhasa and say wandering.

Don't mention Inner Mongolia and say grassland.

Don't mention Xinjiang, just talk about lamb skewers and cheesecake, a big plate of chicken, and naan.

Xinjiang, Xinjiang, the people there, and you and I have the same (Xinjiang dialect, what) two?

You have wine, they also have wine, you have stories, they also have stories.

The same red earth ups and downs, the same love, hate and separation, the same feelings, the same hope or disappointment, faith or confusion.

Why do they take themselves as the rightful heirs and treat Xinjiang as a distant house?

Why do you take Xinjiang as a distant place when you think of yourself as the central axis?

What the hell?

Where are the frontiers in this era? Who said that moving stories only deserve to happen in the north?

(I)

Sand into the shell of a clam to produce pearls, cattle eat a hundred herbs to grow Niu Huang.

Niuhuang clears heat and detoxifies spasms, pearls nourish the face to prevent wrinkles and spots and are a home travel essential medicine.

That ...... I have also given birth to pearls, and I have also produced cow's yellow.

I was rolling around in the emergency room, with abdominal pain such as knife stirring such as waist chopping, screaming that a difficult birth is also difficult to hear, shocked the crowd to silence.

What is even more shocking is that a bunch of white coats held me down like a pig, stripped me of my pants in public, and the same as before the birth, to give me this iron-boned man did an ultrasound ...... Yes, ultrasound.

The more upsetting thing is that the doctor told me that I grew pearls and cowries, generally known as "upper urinary tract calcium oxalate kidney stones".

I was forced to endure the sharp pain of the waist, and after the ultrasound of the shy, tearful question: the cow's called cow yellow, the dog's called dog treasure ...... my ...... even if called Huiren Kidney Bao also ah ...... she good I Also good ...... what calcium oxalate ah, why not a better name ......

He said: Well, the appearance is also not very good, seven ribs and eight corners of ......

The doctor smacked his lips while injecting me with Dulcolax, and a head swished out of the side, a good-looking little nurse, tenderly wiped my forehead sweat, and asked with concern: so powerful yo, so big a stone, how do you cultivate out?

The drug came too quickly, did not have time to talk to the pretty little nurse, and fainted.

It is for regret.

If the heavens give me another chance, I will gently catch her small white hand, squinting up the vicissitudes of the eyes, with a thick baritone to tell her: it's beer ......

Drink beer to drink.

...... his grandmother has a butt, and never drinks beer again.

Yanjing pure raw, Shandong Tsingtao, Tibetan La beer, Yunnan windflower, Northeast old snow ...... not drink, since then all quit.

Only Xinjiang's big Usu remains.

Xinjiang take life big Usu.

The distant Xinjiang, life-threatening, soul-cracking, how to quit can not quit the big Usu.

After recovering from the disease for several years, beer was only in Xinjiang to drink, drunk only because of the big Usu.

Is it that good? Of course not, it is very bitter, but also on the head.

Who said good to drink before drinking, want to drink good, drink Wangshi milk, Yakult, honey grapefruit tea to go.

Jinbo wild medicine Bonjour soup, bitter is the beer, bitter wine to relieve worries, wine bitter words hook, bitter wine with bullwhip horse intestine lamb loin, red willow branches roast meat ...... and then with old friends.

Receive the wind or send off, farewell or reunion, ten thousand wind and dust, ten rivers, and lakes, are sunk in the cup.

Write a poem write a poem.

The night is over, and the morning color is rushing since the old man doesn't refill the cup.

The wind and rain from afar are no consolation, a box of Ursus is waiting for my return.

......

I said don't refill the cup, but I can't do it.

It is also impossible not to get drunk.

After more than ten years of opening bars, the amount of alcohol is barely passable, how is also a dozen Heineken not red face, a box of Budweiser does not go kidney silver (Shandong dialect, people), but every time the life of the big Ursus creamy white foam in the cup slowly rise, always patting the left and right neighbors thighs to leave a last message: remember to carry me back to ...... carry can not be dragged.

The people took my paw away from the lap, sip their teeth sigh: brother, save it, every time you vomit like a fire faucet, drag a wow bite, drag a wow bite, just to the cab driver to wash the seat cover to wash how many times.

I snapped: this, the time to get drunk must not drink less, the time to sing must not sit dry ......

The side of the people cut off the conversation, friendly complement: count on you, the road hugging the poles singing, how to drag nor let go, nostrils eyes also dragged the root of the pull strip, but also straight wobble ......

And also said: singing the Sarai? Does it seem to be singing you love Shu Qi? There was also a time to sing Yang Zishan you got married I was so sad.

If I could go to cover her mouth I would have covered, this a fierce Xinjiang girl child, visual combat power ten levels, biceps developed, a minute to me an over-the-shoulder drop no problem. This girl also said: Come, go one, we dried, you drink half on the line.

...... She must not know how hurtful this statement is in our Shandong province.

The bottle of wine was also taken away, and they did not allow me to pour my wine, I secretly reached for the claw, and chopsticks snapped hands.

Forgive me, but still get drunk.

Strange to say, Usuk me, as long as the open drink, not break the piece is impossible.

Urumqi's old friends love me, since the discovery of this law, every time I go to Xinjiang, every dinner and drink, we must first review my glorious deeds smack half a day, and then guess the fist, the loser deserves to carry me, regardless of gender.

Hand heart and hand back, shears wrapped hammer, a bunch of people laughing: ouch, how every time you two, the hand really bad.

The two brothers, one tall and one short, a small sheep and a small horse, eight out of ten times in the lottery, the luck of the back ah, back to grandma's house.

The Usual foam in the cup is very tempting, and the sadness in their eyes is very moving, I timidly end the cup and sip, a sarcastic smile: well, well, I try to drink less, try to drink less ...... they are a director, a writer, cultivation is quite high.

They nodded at me, friendly relief I said: It's okay, drink it, you a sell gauze (dialect, buttocks) ......

A head up and a foot up, they both hi yo shouting horn, east and west down the stairs, and then a thud, or thud thud thud thud thud ...... on the steps knocked out my nose and face head bag.

The drunkenness does not feel pain but is only pressed to panic.

Three drunken old men fell into a ball, the weight added up to almost 500 pounds, knees on the stomach, buttocks sitting on the face, ouch ouch shouted into a piece. I struggled to tie and spread (open) the arms to breathe, backstroke-like.

Writer Xiao Yang drunkenly watched me flopping in place, suddenly giggled, and said: thousands of years ago in Xinjiang, a full son (Xinjiang dialect, all of them) ocean, just with time, became the farthest from the sea ......

The wine is on the head, the seawater drowned me, he later BB (nonsense) some sprinkled, can not remember.

The next day I woke up, omg my rib cage (ribs), omg the back of my head ......×! How can I still have half a shoe print on my face?

I have a small piece of teeth also left in Xinjiang.

One after another has become the custom, every time the end of a big meal, all the people in unison encourage, Ma director and Yang writer consciously carry me, and then three people together to roll the stairs. Occasionally all drunk, the two of them will also be infected by me, the three together in the streets of Urumqi to grab a telephone pole to hold.

Usually, the bottle of wine is in my arms, the pole is cold, I sing my Ki Ki Shan Shan, and they also pull their necks to sing, shouting in a thick voice.

The street wind was bitterly cold, the snow fell swish and sound, and the tone of Xinjiang Mandarin was too flat, what they shouted, I could not hear.

Often shouting and shouting will choke up, the other sang and began to cry.

Cry, tears and saliva a lot, snot bubbles suddenly small and large.

Director Ma clumsily wipe the tears for Yang writer, said: are so far away, but also come back to do it? You are not stupid!

The writer Yang poked the snot bubble of the director Ma and said: you did not also stay behind? ...... you are a Ga Ga's Sosozi (Xinjiang dialect, waste). ghost blowing lamp novel

I interjected: it's not good to stay? Xinjiang is so fun and so big.

This pair of living treasures grabbed my collar to I cried.

You stay one for me to see! ...... you love to barbecue, you love red dates, you love raisins, you love Hetian jade, but you are too lazy to understand Xinjiang people ...... with that?

This is not bullshit, who said I do not want to understand? I'll pay for my teeth.

Cry my ass off brother ......

Brothers, brothers, sad things are rolling aside, we talk about something fun.

The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.

Why are your names so funny, so vulgar, so perfect for each other?

One is called horse shit, the other is called sheep dung.

They are also real names!