The fourth emotion is vulnerable

I used to be a strong proponent of the fourth kind of affection, and I used to argue it until I was blue in the face, always believing that there really is a relationship between men and women that is a little higher than friendship and a little lower than love. It's not that I'm just talking out of thin air, because I was the best proof of that at the time.

The other protagonist of the story is called Min Tao, we are high school classmates, because both sides of the parents also know, often come and go, we have naturally become good friends, no words do not talk, every morning is also together in class, together after school, although often someone take the relationship between us, but we all know that it is not, Because I secretly like the monitor of our class, Min Tao knows this matter. In order to help me, he often asked the monitor to play ball, and let me take charge of the water, for which I always say he is very good friends. Although we were separated from each other in college, we kept writing to each other. I remember that when I had my first boyfriend, I told him in the letter. Similarly, he would also tell me when he had his first girlfriend.

In this way, I think, there is no gender between us, male or female, in our kind of ignored. He is Min Tao's colleague. Once they got together, Min Tao called me to the party. At first, he thought Min Tao was my boyfriend and casually complimted him, your girlfriend is really beautiful. Then needless to say, we almost fell in love at first sight, love for more than a year, and then naturally married. Min Tao and I still maintained a deeper than normal friendship, I often laugh and call him my blue face. It was then that I used to cite myself as an example to prove people wrong when they said there was no fourth kind of feeling possible.

Min Tao is single, and he would come to our house for dinner when he was bored on weekends. Sometimes, he would not leave and we would sit on the sofa drinking tea and chatting for a whole afternoon. When my husband came back, he was still there. Lonely men and women. I made fun of him. You know we're friends. That being said, I also know that men are always a little too much, and Min Tao is really a handsome young student, which is inevitable in the heart of anxiety, and I don't want him to be unhappy, so I took the opportunity to remind Min Tao around the bend, but he knew it, smiled and said OK, don't disturb your newlywed.

Visits to the house are rare, but he is still restless, urging to help him introduce a sister, I also do my best, but every time, are in vain, almost all Min Tao give up, not think people are not beautiful enough, is not feeling, so still single, I am afraid of the women around all offended light, also no longer do this kind of stupid lalang match, let him do his single aristocrats. Occasionally, he would e-mail me to tell me who he had recently met, or ask me for tips on how to make a woman happy, or where to buy a nice bag to give away. During that time, we barely saw each other, except occasionally on the street (City A was too small to avoid).

Until one day, he called my company, said he wanted to talk to me, depressed, I asked what it was, he said lovelorn, want to jump off a building, hope I can be his garbage can for two hours, some bitter water to spit. It was the first time we'd seen each other in six months.

In the bustle of the true bar, I met him, dressed like an office worker in a white shirt and black striped trousers, but with a scruffy beard that looked even more gaunt than six months ago. I laugh Kan: "You so mix and match is not coordinated, how can he beard with white collar dress." Before, he would have jumped up and retorted, but now he only looked up at me and bent his head to drink, sighing at long intervals. I asked him about it, he began to tell a story like he and the woman called Wen's story, finally hoarse voice: "I really really love her." I have not never seen him lovelorn appearance, but every time quite optimistic, Shouting that there are no grass in the world, hip-hop for a while, like this sad, is the first time. All of a sudden, I had this question in my head, what should Wen look like? How could it make him so sad?

Maybe I was afraid that something would happen to him. At that time, he wanted to chat with me, and I was determined to go there. I would wait for him to say goodbye on the phone even if he complained. He keeps talking about Wen, Wen, Wen, over and over again, different times, different places, just like that.

And I was more and more impatient, one day, in the phone, I heard the last straw, suddenly a drink: "enough, you don't say, bored dead." He looked at me puzzled: "Why are you so angry." Let me tell you, I can't bear to see a man like that. It's just brokenhearted, like dead people." He was silent for a moment. "You're right. I shouldn't be, thank you." I hung up the phone, I asked myself, is it really because I can't see him like this, yes, I can't stand him like this, in front of me to keep talking about another woman.

But Min Tao is Min Tao after all, I do not know whether my words played a role, or time smoothed his pain, or his deliberate mask, Wen seems to become his end of the disaster, no longer mentioned. Occasionally, I am curious to ask questions, he will answer too lazy to say, and then smile away.

His storm passed, and mine began again. Marital problems come and go. Two people live together, there are always a lot of contradictions, at first we are on the grounds of run-in, tolerate each other, but time passed, both of us can not bear it, life once thought romantic trivial all turned into a trivial trouble, either I think he smoked too much, or he thinks I waste water and electricity, housework, food, sleeping habits, everything has become the source of contradiction. Even watching TV is a fight, the TV drama all come true. The original idea of tolerance became a joke, often quarrel to break the roof. Min Tao then became my "garbage can". At first, he always advised me not to be too narrow-minded: "Men also need to coax, you are too not gentle, like a man." I smile wryly: "Otherwise how with you is a buddy."

One night, after the family war broke out again, I rushed out of my house in a mad frenzy. Tears streamed down the street and I wanted to get drunk. The first person I thought of was Min Tao: "Come out quickly and drink with me."

We went to true, our usual restaurant, and ordered a dozen Carlsberg, which the two of us drank by the bottle. I am not a good drinker. After three bottles, I feel dizzy. When I drink another bottle, I just feel that everything is floating and I walk like a cloud. Alcohol is like a catalyst, let my eyes into a broken tap of water pipe, crying, crying. Min Tao had to help me to the door. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom, getting rid of the smell of alcohol and washing my face with cold water.

I opened the door and went out. Just a few steps out, I was held by a pair of hands, and then I was tightly hugged. I was so scared that I wanted to cry out and found out that the man was Min Tao. I instinctively want to push away, but do not want to really escape, I heard Min Tao in my ear spit and said: "Ji Fan, in fact, my favorite person is you, is you, there is no Wen, the story is made up, my feeling of Wen is the feeling of you, you know? Two of me seemed to jump out of my head, and one said in front of me: "You can't do this, too dead." And another said, "Respect how you feel right now." I can't describe exactly what happened afterwards. I only know that when I came to my senses, I was entangled with Min Tao. In other people's eyes, it's just a couple kissing in the corner, but I know how messy things are. Like do not know how to start do not know how to end, I like a deserter to flee true, take a taxi home, just took out the key to open the door, heard a crash, Mr. Rushed out, a hug me: "Sorry, I will never be fierce to you, you just rushed out, the phone and can not get through, I am so nervous. I rested my chin on his shoulder and closed my eyes tightly.

I spent the whole night sorting out my relationship with Min Tao, and it all wrapped around me like a nightmare.

The next day, Min Tao sent me a text message and said he really wanted to see me, but I went back unexpectedly. I thought we were just drunk yesterday, and that was the fault of the alcohol. We should not give up eating for choking.

Two people, a pot of tea, but no longer like before, I dare not to look him in the eye, he has been saying that he liked me in high school, but he knows I do not like him, so he would rather retreat to the position of blue Yan, can not be a lover, he is willing to be a friend. Listening to him, it's been weird all afternoon. I picked up a pot of rose black tea and put it on the candle stove. The red liquid poured out and extinguished the flame. The waitress came to clean it up and said, "I'm sorry, miss, I didn't burn you. This kind of glass is not high temperature resistant, so it can't be heated on the fire.

You know what? I'm out of here. I don't know who I was talking to.

Perhaps, Min Tao and I are just like the glass pot that cannot withstand high temperature. Under the guise of the fourth emotion, we think that it is a pure friendship. The so-called blue yan, or red yan, just gives a reasonable name to an awkward situation and lives peacefully, but it does not encounter the breaking temperature. The ones that are broken, get rid of them as soon as you can before you stab them.

Min Tao, I can only say that he was my friend once, and now, we are no longer, because we can't find each other's roles