The Female Movement

Have you ever seen a friend that's in a relationship she shouldn't be in? Did you say anything? Did you notice the silent signs floating around her? The red, puffy eyes, or the desolate stare? Her unwillingness to leave the house even on nights he's not home?

There are so many women stuck in abusive relationships like these. And I don't just mean the magnificently strong women fighting off physical abuse, I mean the women who sit in silence while their partner puts them down day after day. Emotional abuse feels so small when you look at it from afar, but up close, it's a monster that drags you into a deeper depression. They pull you in, just to drag you down. Some people may seem kind, but underneath they have psychological tricks to make you believe that you're less than you are. You are more than their words.

Emotional abusive relationships can take everything from you, they can pull you away from family, friends, hobbies, everything you once loved to do. It's easy to retreat, it's hard to leave. People who have never been in that situation always ask, why is it so hard for you to leave? Everything you once had to support you, they've stripped away so you can never leave. That's why.

Our world is full of narcissists and sociopaths who take advantage of these women. Women who are codependent, meaning after they are emotionally abused, they become completely dependent on the other person for satisfaction, happiness, or self worth. My passion? Telling their stories. Letting everyone know that these relationships are terrifying, horrible, and almost impossible to break free from.

I write fictional stories based in real life experience with a narcissistic relationship. I struggled with codependency, I've struggled with watching family members in an emotionally abusive relationship. It's something we tend to sweep under the rug because it's "not as bad" as physical violence, but it is. It can cause depression, anxiety, and extremely low self worth.

The fact that there is a word for the result of an emotionally abusive relationship and many people don't know it, is a sign of neglect to these types of relationships. Codependency is complete reliance on your partner, much like relying on an addiction. Continuously going back to get your self worth or satisfaction. People can sit in the pattern of abuse for decades without realizing it. They start off as small signs, and eventually you begin to believe what they say about you. When they say something kind, it's an absolute blessing, you rely on that positive feedback.

Getting out of something like this is nearly impossible. That's why I write their stories. Letting people see how miniscule the signs can be or how big they can become. To help those around us who are in trouble, who can't break free of the grasp of someone who tells us how terrible we are every day. Writing has always been a passion, but every time I write about emotional abuse it blows me away. The ability to tell a story that seems so subtle and soft, while the deeper meaning is noticing the trouble these women are in, it's amazing.

I couldn't think of anything better to spend my time on. I love storytelling. The only thing I could possibly wish for, is to spend my life giving these stories to an audience that can help others in the same situation I was in. To get paid to provide materials that can help another woman in trouble. To be a resource, through storytelling, donating, and providing local help to those who need it. That's the dream.

You are worth more than you will ever know. You are loved. You are not forgotten or left behind. You can break free. You can help someone break out of this cycle. You can become yourself again.

I want every woman to know that they are more than what other people think of them. That idea gets further and further away the longer they stay with someone who is mentally abusive. Here are some signs of an emotionally abusive relationship; verbal abuse (yelling, screaming, insulting you, even if it's backhanded), gaslighting (making someone question their own ideas, thoughts, or actions), attempts to intimidate or manipulate, attempts to humiliate, blame, isolating in attempt to manipulate, and many others. There are so many signs, so many things that we're unable to see from the outside.

There are even studies to suggest that emotional abuse can lead to PTSD, sleeping or eating disorders, and alcohol/drug abuse. Don't let your friend get this far. Look for the signs, be alert and ready to call attention to the problem. Give them a way out, find them a local help center or provide an escape route in case of emergencies. There are countless stories of emotional abuse turned violent. Let me share my stories with the world, and provide a way out for these women.

Because they are worth it.