The Face of Poverty

If you know me personally, then you know life has been somewhat of a living hell for me this past year. I have lost so much. More than some lose in a life time.

A series of unfortunate events. My losses are mine to own but they also belong to my significant other as his belong to me. Some days are heavier than others, but nevertheless they all hold a constant struggle of some sort.

And just when the powers controlling this crazy rat race decide to let you breathe just a little...Bam!

There life goes again.

Between the chaos this last year has brought us, there has been a few great moments that, unquestionably we will never forget. For the joy that their essence brought to us, the light that they provided on a dim, cold night and the pride that came with the achievement that I wore on my collar as a badge of sorts.

For these; I'm grateful and utterly humble. And if you know me well, you know that my greatest source of pride comes from the love of my child, my beautiful son Andrew Riøs.

I have witnessed and survived several traumatic events that I wouldn't wish on my own worst enemy. Unfortunately, there has been so much that my son has been exposed to. Each instance a lesson in itself. I believe that they have made him wiser in his choices and stronger as a man.

I also hope that our failures and things that have happened beyond our control has taught him to want more out of life. I hope what he may have seen or has knowledge of, fueled his drive and his ambition.

What I hope DID NOT happen was for him to lose his faith and his compassion for mankind. I pray it does not cripple him into a hater and a non-believer. I can sometimes see the anger, but I especially hurt for the anger I can not see. My heart bleeds for his spirit. He strives and works to do well and I can only hope that what he's doing now will bring him his just rewards.

This has been the hardest year I have ever lived. And I know my husband feels the same. Men carry their disappointments and their losses differently than women do.

There will always be so much that people don't see. This past year, I have learned so much, seen so much. The most important thing I have learned that I will share with all of you is this: PEOPLE ONLY KNOW WHAT YOU LET THEM KNOW. AND THEY ONLY SEE WHAT YOU LET THEM SEE.

Think about that for a moment.

This morning I was at the gas station in town, while my husband used the bathroom. I leashed my dog and walked her around the gas station grounds and behind the building and looked for "empties". (Michigan's returnable cans and bottles) As I tossed the beer can into my van I heard someone tell me, "didn't get too many huh?"

I shook my head no and we got to talking. Turns out that he does "okay there by the end of the day."

For those of you who have never experienced poverty to make enough for fuel, food and a pack of smoke's, would be "okay by the end of the day". And had I known that this was someone else's territory I wouldn't have taken the can. I gave him a few bags of chips, and he told me about the two biscuits that someone bought him for breakfast. Turns out he's a Veteran. What he repeated a few times that has sat with me all day was, "I have seen a lot", all I could do was nod my head.

I got back into my van to wait on my husband. I was so compelled to watch the man and I questioned myself why I didn't realize why I saw him there so often. But now I know why he tucks himself up around the side of the building out of the owner's view. This is his hustle, this is his flow.

Poverty is more prevalent than people realize. Or is it that they realize it but choose to ignore it.

Once you begin to see what it looks like you will see it everywhere - in everyone. The young mother at the register with a toddler and a restless infant fumbling through her purse for change, knowing she doesn't have what she needs. She stalls a little longer hoping the customer next in line will show compassion and toss a buck on the counter. See, she hopes and accepts compassion it's the pity she refuses.

You will find it in the older woman, that once had more than she needed and took that for granted, being a widow now and having to fend for herself. Perhaps you see her outside the thrift store, hoping that the stylish name brand clothes she's unloading from her car will yield enough for the electric bill and she can get one of the four prescriptions she's been holding on to fill.

Or the single dad stressed out, only working part-time now because the company he has worked for, for 20 years downsized, and he's having to scratch up last months rent or face eviction. He skips his meal for the third night this week to make sure his daughter eats.

The mother and father, trying patiently to budget their combined monthly income to stretch and feed a family of six. Together, they are overqualified by just a few dollars to qualify for any kind of state assistance. They carefully try to purchase healthier choices, but the organic and name brands products are priced so high in comparison to the more sugary foods. They learned very quickly that eating healthy is not viable for a family of six at their pay scale. And grateful everyone likes hot dogs and mac and cheese.

The guy you see every night outside at the local gas station when you stop after work to grab cigarettes, did you know that has not eaten since the day before? And it was cheap eats.

He's is surviving on the recyclables you throw away. Did you know that he served his country and is a college graduate? But because of his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder he is unable to find a job that will show him some sort of leniency because he gets sick from the medication the Veterans Affairs told him he had to take for his disorder.

The woman you see walking her dog down the main drag, looking peaceful to the public, but torn to pieces on the inside. She shows only the public only what she wants you to see. Her head bobs curb to curb looking for recyclables, and she is whispering, "please, please, please." Knowing she has to hustle up enough to do "okay by the end of the day".

So, please don't judge anyone if you do.

We all are our own books with unique and individual covers. We are filled with colorful chapters that make us all who we are. Most importantly we all are very different in every way.

Remember to show only what you want to be seen. And strive to show compassion. Show respect to others and their individuality. Pay it forward daily; buy the lady a cup of coffee, throw the kid a buck. Lend someone a helping hand if you are able to.

If everyone tried a little bit harder, gave just a little bit more - perhaps, just perhaps life's struggles wouldn't seem so hard.