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The Euphoric Reasons Why We Fall in Love With Our Partners

It's not just the butterflies.

By Marta LevchenkoPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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By Jonathan Borba on Pexels

What does it mean to fall in love?

This is one of the most widely asked questions that professionals, artists, and even writers have tried explaining. Sadly, though, some of their answers don’t seem convincing enough.

Over the years, several studies have focused on the love and science behind it. It sheds light on the complexity of human relationships, the psychological and philosophical aspects of it, and research-based truths that lovers should know.

On the other hand, social experiments are performed to further our existing knowledge about love itself. Though it is one of the most familiar sensations one could ever feel, it’s still hard to give a definite explanation for it.

Fundamentals of Falling in Love

Surely you can name everything you love about someone, but trying to explain why you fell for them is a different story.

Truthfully, it’s easy to find someone’s traits to be attractive, especially when you’ve formed biased feelings for them prior. However, knowing exactly why you feel love for that person can be tricky.

For that, here are basic facts about falling in love that you should know about:

1. Dr. Nicki Nance, a licensed psychotherapist and professor at Beacon College in Florida, suggested that the feeling of falling in love is socially defined. According to Nance, if we didn’t have love stories to establish the expectation of falling in love, we might not do it, although we’re still likely to bond.

2. One of the early signs you’re falling in love is when your brain and hormones suddenly go berserk when you’re with a love interest. Later on, you realize that keeping someone off your mind is a hard thing to do.

3. The things that cause you to fall in love are timing, chemistry, and common ground. When you know you’re ready for it, the rest will follow.

4. Scientifically, love is referred to as pair bonding. "It is the ultimate stimulator humans need to continue procreating and ensure the existence of the human race," Dr. Nance stated.

These facts clearly illustrate how we perceive love as it is. For us, it will always be one of the most beautiful things that can happen in our lives. No matter what comes our way, it will remain as one of the reasons we wake up in the morning.

By Jonathan Borba on Pexels

Now, was there someone constantly on your mind while reading this? If so, do you want to know why you fell for them?

We fall in love because of our similarities.

According to a published study in 1989 by Aron et al., our similarities are prime movers that make us grow fond of someone.

The more we realize similarities with a love interest, such as our beliefs, traits, and principles, we’re likely to develop the same manner of thinking as theirs, which makes us more attracted to them.

Of course, they have to have a few desirable characteristics.

It’s impossible to define someone’s temperament simply by looking at them. Also, you can’t gauge compatibility after having a few conversations with them.

Simply put, these desirable characteristics are inclined more on someone’s physical appearance rather than what’s on the inside. As you get to know them deeply, their inner traits will outshine your fondness for them.

When we develop a sense of familiarity with them, they become more attractive.

The longer we spend time with someone we like, our familiarity with them increases. Because of this, we constantly anticipate being and thinking of them almost all the time.

Since they hardly get off our minds, falling in love becomes easy as our feelings for them intensifies.

As humans, we’ve adopted the concept of reciprocity.

This doesn’t only apply to the tangible things we gladly give others in exchange for what they’ve given us.

When it comes to love, there’s a great possibility for us to like someone back. From the moment we know what they think of us, this increases our initial interest in them as well, if there is.

Even in love, we conform to the influences of our social network.

A vital factor for us in liking someone depends on how we think they will be accepted by the people around us. If our partnership with them is likely to satisfy social norms, our feelings develop faster.

By Jonathan Borba on Pexels

In contrast, we easily fall out of love when we think that our relationship with them will be disapproved of by our social circle.

Someone who fills our needs is a great potential match.

It’s great when we can share more than just love with the person we’re fond of. It’s a given that relationships require a lot of work that comes from trying to fulfill and satisfy someone’s needs, and to a lesser extent, reasonable expectations.

Realistically, our chances of falling deeper in love with someone increase when we know they can readily meet our needs.

Our readiness corresponds to our receptiveness.

One factor that makes us fall in love easier is how our self-esteem becomes inversely proportional to our desire of being in a relationship, making it lower as our eagerness to be with someone deepens.

We crave a taste of mystery.

It’s easy to get engrossed in reading about conspiracy theories and the mysteries surrounding them. Similarly, we do the same with a potential partner.

Feeling a sense of uncertainty about what they think and how they feel towards us gradually develops into affection.

Romantic Love: The Pinnacle Towards Meaningful Life Experiences

Even if we have to plan our future over and over, finding love will always be a part of it.

As you know, with love comes commitment. You can’t tell someone your feelings while not proving them through actions because it simply doesn’t work that way.

As you begin to deeply love someone, you get to know more about yourself. The process teaches you what sacrifices you’re capable of making and how much you can forgive and accept someone for who they are.

Love is too complex to define. But one thing is for sure. Our hearts will beat for that one great person.

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About the Creator

Marta Levchenko

Professional Matchmaker and Dating Consultant for Foreign Affair

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